Tell us more about it. Assuming you were resuscitated after an accident, in surgery or something like that?
There have been a few deaths in my close family lately, so I've been thinking about it a lot and I'm very curious about the whole phenomenon. If you're comfortable writing about it, let us know what your experience was.
Thanks in advance, and be careful out there.
People usually don't ask me to explain myself. They just say "your comments are irksome" or "perhaps you should take your rabbit and your literal interpretations to the other side of the river."
This is the fist time I have ever spoken publicly about it. It's just that people either don't believe me or they have other reactions that I don't appreciate. Oh well, there are jerks everywhere and since the lightning strike, I've thought a lot more about it, and how what happened to me (the first time) was pretty amazing. Rather, the effect it has had on my life. If people can take something from that, cool. If not, then they can sod.
When I was 2, I choked to death. My father brought me back. Then about 2 weeks after that, it happened again but I didn't die.
So, this is actually getting really difficult (emotionally) to write so bear with me, please.
I don't remember the actual death. I remember immediately before and immediately after.
What I do remember is how I felt, and feel now. It affected my life in every way. I literally have had to overcome my own death to start enjoying life. This is confusing I know...okay let me break it down. To help me, because I have never been able to find words to explain myself, I'll borrow from the few places that have come the closest. The first quotation is from Star Trek, the second, from Buffy:
Guinan describes "The Nexus":
"It was like being inside joy. As if joy was a tangible thing that I could wrap around myself. I've never been so content. And then, I was pulled away. I didn't want to leave... I felt like I'd left a part of myself behind. All I could think about was getting back. I didn't care what I had to do. It took a long time, but eventually I learned to live with it.
Buffy tells Spike about her death:
"I was happy. Wherever I was, I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time didn't mean anything. Nothing had form but I was still me, you know? And I was warm; and I was loved; and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions, or any of it, really. But I think I was in heaven. And now I'm not.... Everything here is hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch ... this is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that knowing what I've lost."
When I first thought that there was something I
could do to get back to that place. I tried to kill myself a bunch of times. Then I tried to replicate it chemicaly.
Nothing even comes close.
I'm not totally over it now, though I stopped trying to get it back. I live my life and am now the happiest and most content as I have ever been (alive). Although, I'm not scared to die and actually...I know how this sounds...am looking forward to it in a way.
In addition to these "side effects", I always thought my EXTREME sensitivity to life was born from these experiences of my childhood. I also have some precog stuff going on which I always thought was related to this too. But I don't know.
Guys, where this is concerned, if you feel the need to try to explain this away or have a negative comment, please refrain. I would
really appreciate it. I only posted this because I was hoping it may help gayeyes. I didn't PM him because I thought it might help someone else too.
Thanks a lot for reading this.
