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I always liked these threads...

  • Thread starter Thread starter Anders123
  • Start date Start date
A

Anders123

Guest
And now I get to create my own!!

I came out to my Mum yesterday, on Australia Day (!)

I sat her down and did the usual build up, trying to make it SLIGHTLY less of a shock, but because I've been seeing doctor after doctor for the last few months, she started to get really scared, not knowing what I was going to say.

When I finally worked up the courage to say "I'm gay", she let out a MASSIVE sigh of relief and said "OH...IS THAT IT?! I thought you were going to tell me the latest tests came back with a worse result than you lead on and that you were dying!"

She then said "You're my son, and I love you no matter what, not that being gay would change that because it doesn't really mean anything does it"

Then we hugged and just talked about it for about an hour and a half (*8*)

She said she might need a little bit of time to adjust but that she's proud of me for having the courage to tell her :D I LOVE MY MUM!! Haha

Anyway, I always liked reading other peoples threads like these, they always made me smile and want to come out more and more each time, so I thought I'd post my own.

SO RELIEVED!!
 
Congratulations mate! So you did have a G'day on Australia Day :D
 
Congrats. :) At least you got to go through your speech.

When I came out last year, I agonized for weeks over what I was going to say and then I sat my family down and told them this was going to be hard for me to say... my mother blurted out, "You're gay."

Way to ruin my speech Mom. :rolleyes:
 
What a wonderful story. Congratulations! You did good! ..|:wave:
 
I always cry when I read stories like yours and I think it's because it's an affirmation that most of the time people behave the way they are supposed to. I don't pin any medals on parents for doing what they are supposed to do, but it's as if I'm peeking through the kitchen curtains and getting a glimpse of people doing the right thing. It renews my energy and faith in my fellow man.

I welcome the tears and I thank you for sharing. It's a grand feeling knowing you're loved and your mum is exactly the woman you thought she was.
 
Thanks guys! ..| Much appreciated :D

@Adhesion; That happened to me too when I came out to one of my friends, I sat him down and said exactly what you did, that it was going to be hard for me to say, to which he replied "dude, I'm trying REALLY hard not to make a coming out of the closet joke right now" Haha. Funnily enough it broke the ice and made it a lot easier.

@seasoned; If there was a medal to give to parents for behaving how they are supposed to, I would DEFINITELY give one to my mum! She's a yoga teacher and seems to love everything no matter what. It was hard enough for me to tell her, I can't imagine people with conservative parents.

My heart truly goes out to them (*8*)(*8*)
 
Excellent.

Congratulations.

And good for your mom.
 
Congratulations - - -

Thanks for sharing

do celebrate your life

Rand
 
Congratulations!! That's awesome! Your mum sounds like a wonderful woman!
 
I have a not-so-happy update to this thread.

The day after I came out to my mum (and also dad), my parents went away (I planned that so they would have some time to think about it). Since their return a few days later, my dad hasn't spoken a SINGLE word to me. Not "hello", not "hey, how was your day?", nothing. We were never really close, and never really had anything in common, but to go this long (an entire month) without a single word is FAR out of the ordinary.

It's quite obvious he has some sort of issue with me being gay, I can't think of any other explanation. I've been waiting for him to talk to me about it since he got back, but I'm sick of feeling disappointed at the end of every day.

What should I do? Should I confront him about it? Or continue to wait and let him come to me? I've given him the benefit of the doubt, having another conversation about me being gay clearly makes him uncomfortable, and I can understand him putting it off, but a whole month?

Advice please!! :confused::grrr:
 
Bent-On said:
Talk to your mother about it, and see what's up.
Click to expand...

Thanks, I spoke to my mum this morning. She told me that when they went away, when ever she tried to talk about it with him he felt VERY uncomfortable and always tried to change the subject --- I laughed when she told me that when they got to the place they were staying at, a gay pride parade was on the TV haha --- she said that was SO awkward. :lol:

She also said for the first two weeks or so after they got back, she was nagging him to have a conversation with me about it and that he said he would, but obviously, more than 4 weeks later, he still hasn't.

I'm all for giving people time to 'process the news', but it's kind of starting to frustrate me that he's not even willing to have a conversation with me, about ANYTHING, not just the fact that I'm gay.

Still don't know what to do :confused:
 
The relationship was never good to begin with, in accordance I would significantly lower my expectations, and aim for a rapprochement on the most basic level, ie. the exchange of civilities and acknowledgment of each other's existence. Saying hi yourself would be a good start, but do so in a casual manner, not as if it's the opening to a conversation. And I would further more leave it up to your mother to do the heavy lifting, concerning the issue about your sexual orientation.

Tell her about your concerns over your father's behavior, and ask your mother to reassure your father about your sexual orientation and that you don't expect him to have a conversation about it. That way you can safely navigate your way around the awkwardness that will naturally follow from a direct conversation between father and son on the subject of their feelings.

Take note, I'm just shooting in the dark here. I don't know what type of family you have. Although I would say that the mother route is the most safe way in going about things.
 
Bent-On said:
The relationship was never good to begin with, in accordance I would significantly lower my expectations, and aim for a rapprochement on the most basic level, ie. the exchange of civilities and acknowledgment of each other's existence. Saying hi yourself would be a good start, but do so in a casual manner, not as if it's the opening to a conversation. And I would further more leave it up to your mother to do the heavy lifting, concerning the issue about your sexual orientation.

Tell her about your concerns over your father's behavior, and ask your mother to reassure your father about your sexual orientation and that you don't expect him to have a conversation about it. That way you can safely navigate your way around the awkwardness that will naturally follow from a direct conversation between father and son on the subject of their feelings.

Take note, I'm just shooting in the dark here. I don't know what type of family you have. Although I would say that the mother route is the most safe way in going about things.
Click to expand...

Nah you're right, there never really has been a 'strong' relationship at all with my father, and my relationship with my mother is very open. I'd say I agree with everything you said ( nice advice :-) ).

I guess I was kind of using it as a test. Him taking the first step towards conversation would confirm that he really does want a relationship. Sounds stupid, I know. It kind of feels like I'm giving up on that if I go to him about it first. I think I'll talk to my mum again, get her to open up a dialogue about it all with him, not in a nagging / forceful way, just an open way.

Thanks again (*8*)
 
My guess is he's still processing it. Also, he may not know how to have a conversation about it because he may not know much about it, or is confused as to "where that came from" or who knows what. He's not willing to open up his feelings about it to your mother either.

It's really too bad, because he could probably chill about everything if he could only open up. For now, he either can't or won't, and while it's awkward for everyone (especially you and your mother), don't own that problem.

Back off, and be yourself. Talk to him as much as you normally would but don't force it or be in-his-face. I doubt you would, because you didn't have a close relationship anyway.

He probably does want to have a relationship with you, but he hasn't defined it yet and probably doesn't know how to go about it. He, too, knows you two have a distant relationship which doesn't help him break the ice. Keep in touch with your mother about how he's doing. You can count that she'll be working on him in the background and that's probably where the progress will be made.

Good luck.
 
The first part of your story put a mad fat smile on my face, because I'm pretty sure my mum will react the same way. The second part worries me, because I'm not the close with my dad either and I have no idea how he will react :S

Any update on this? Have you and your dad spoken about anything?
 
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