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i am bi(not out) roommate is straight i think

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91stemat

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my roommate is also my stepbrother (did not meet him till i was 17). physically he is everything i like, and his personality gets on my nerves sometimes but we work through it. No one knows i am bi and i have only been with one guy before (more of a fuck buddy) . i do not want anyone to know, but he is talking about moving in to a house together in October. we have been roommates for 2 years. neither one of us has ever brought a girl home.

now for the weird things. i bring up topics that are considered gay, and he joking (i think) tells me to get on my knees. one night we went out drinking, and i got totally messed up. i passed out on the floor at his feet and in my drunken stupor i started feeling him up starting with his feet and working my way up to his package. he woke up when i started messing with his feet again, followed by me going to bed. lately he has been telling me he is free balling in basketball shorts and to not accidentally look up them. he has been sleeping in the same chair that i groped him in and he is now sleeping with his legs spread and both his hands (fingers laced) behind his head.

i would like some advice on how to tell him i have been trying to out myself in ways that dont involve me actually talking (gay porn sites in my history, accidentally sending a text message saying i am bisexual claiming it was autocorrect to gauge his reaction, ect)
 
This circling each other is dumb. If you want him to know you're bi or whatever, just tell him. He's not gonna give you any more clear signs than you are giving him, and if he has any actual interest, he's just as closeted as you are. You're both wasting each other's time, and someone should have the balls to be clear about what they want. If it turns out he was just teasing - big deal, move on.

But first think about the fact that you may end up living together with this guy, and how a potential hook up (clearly you're not interested in more) could make that a problem.
 
Dude you are asking for trouble when fooling with a stepbrother. There are so many things that can go wrong there isn't enough time to list them. Look elsewhere. It has been my experience that you don't want all the negativity that can come from fishing in the family stream. I know he is your stepbrother and technically not a part of the family, for real. His mom or dad is married to your mom or dad. That is too close for comfort.
 
^Some things are best left undone and unsaid. It's the closet that forces people to look towards people already in their life for sexual relief or experimentation. I think this is a sign to come out of the closet and to expand your world and experience what you're entitled to experience.
 
Even if he's your stepbro, you shouldn't be fooling around with him. However, because he IS your stepbro, you should be coming out to him before most people. If you feel comfortable with him (and it's clear you are to a certain degree)...then maybe you should just talk to him and tell him you're bi. Who knows, maybe he'll come clean to you too.
 
These guys are probably right. No sex with relatives...though, the idea of sucking and fucking your stepbro is sort of hot...
 
91stemat said:
i would like some advice on how to tell him i have been trying to out myself in ways that dont involve me actually talking (gay porn sites in my history, accidentally sending a text message saying i am bisexual claiming it was autocorrect to gauge his reaction, ect)
Click to expand...

Well, the first question is whether you are ready for your family to know that you like cock. Because in telling one family member you are bi, then you run the risk of him spilling the beans to the rest of your family.

What is disturbing here is that your sibling (whether he's a step-brother is irrelevant) and you are playing cat and mouse with each other. While this might be a risk that you would take with a not-close friend or acquaintance, it has all sorts of potential to create problems between you and the rest of your family.

So, if you're worried about your step-brother outing you to your family when you tell him you're bi, then that's going to be a picnic compared to your family finding out you're doing the nasty with your step-brother.

If you want to come out to him, then man up and tell him.

If you want to come out to him in hopes he'll say, "Yeah, me too. Let's fuck.", then you're asking for all kinds of trouble.
 
Your examples sound very similar to how my former roommate first interacted with me when we lived in an apt (before moving to my house). He was in the Air Force. I found out from another buddy also in the Air Force that the game of 'possum is often played (among others) to test each others sexuality. After drinking one dude "passes out" in his underwear or commando in basketball shorts with his legs spread so you can get a good show of his junk. Basically he's pretending to be asleep temping you to suck him off. I knew what my room mate was doing and I did not have any qualms about taking him up on the opportunity. He was basically just looking for a good blowjob and I wanted some cum.

Fast forward 7-8 years later and we are as close as brothers. One of my best friends, he's still straight, has a gf etc. There wasn't any long discussion of either of us being bi or gay or whatever. Now he is a little more comfortable with himself and his sexuality, me being a nudist and him coming to grips with that helped him loosen up his Catholic upbringing. This dude is Mexican, a former boxer, has family members who are gang members in LA and he is much taller and stronger. He could have easily told all his family and I could have easily had my head bashed in for attempting to mess around with him. I didn't because he knew what he was doing and he wanted it. He understood my frame of mind and knew I was someone to be trusted, to keep my mouth shut (often around his cock.)

Think of it this way, if you've already attempted something with him and he hasn't beaten your ass or told you to move out, he's probably looking to mess around without it being such a huge ordeal, where he can just "blame the beer"...He wouldn't want to come out to his family either just as much as he wouldn't want to tell his family he's moving into a house together with a Bisexual dude unless he wants to deal with the questions from his family regarding his sexuality.
 
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