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I am confused - am I gay?

H

HansPieter

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I am very confused about my sexuality! I enjoy having sex with men and have been having random sex with men for years although I have never had a real relationship with a man. I have been topped and bottomed and pretty much done everything. I also enjoy having sex with women and I love my girlfriend and don't want to lose her. I have told her that I have been with men and she did not take it well. At what point do I need to make a choice? I'm worried that if I choose to be with only her that I will become dissatisfied. Or is she the wrong one for me and I need to find a woman who will accept me the way I am? Or is that unrealistic? Help!
 
HansPieter said:
I am very confused about my sexuality! I enjoy having sex with men and have been having random sex with men for years although I have never had a real relationship with a man. I have been topped and bottomed and pretty much done everything. I also enjoy having sex with women and I love my girlfriend and don't want to lose her. I have told her that I have been with men and she did not take it well. At what point do I need to make a choice? I'm worried that if I choose to be with only her that I will become dissatisfied. Or is she the wrong one for me and I need to find a woman who will accept me the way I am? Or is that unrealistic? Help!
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ya eva go university?
 
I guess you need to work out whether you have a greater attractiveness, sexually, to men or women. If it's more to women, then perhaps the issue you have is more one of faithfulness. Will you be having sex with other women besides your girlfriend? Or is there this overwhelming desire to have sex with men? If it is too much to contain, then you are at least bisexual. You have to decide whether you are willing to do all you can to stop having sex with other guys and make the sacrifice for the sake of the love of this girl. If you're going to keep going, then this relationship is doomed. Whatever, I imagine it would be hard to find a women that is willing to share you with other guys.
 
Maybe you're bi? This is something you need to deal with on your own, and look deep within yourself, or seek a psychotherapist to help you search for the answers you want.
 
HansPieter said:
I am very confused about my sexuality! ... At what point do I need to make a choice? I'm worried that if I choose to be with only her that I will become dissatisfied. Or is she the wrong one for me and I need to find a woman who will accept me the way I am? Or is that unrealistic? Help!
Click to expand...

One thing that you didn't answer- are you looking to make a commitment to a monogamous relationship and would settling down with either a man or a woman completely satisify you?
 
That's what I don't know. I am looking to commit to a monogamous relationship with a woman but could I be satisfied? Probably not. How do bisexual people ever end up with anyone?!!
 
HansPieter said:
That's what I don't know. I am looking to commit to a monogamous relationship with a woman but could I be satisfied? Probably not. How do bisexual people ever end up with anyone?!!
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Doesn't it depend on whether sex with a woman or this woman is satisfying for you? I'm not bisexual, so I don't know, but are they necessarily unfaithful to their female partners?
 
For bi-sexuals, the most important thing is to be honest with your partners.

There are lots of fairly open relationships where it isn't an issue.

What I would say is that if your GF is not happy with you fucking around with guys on the side, you've already lost her.

And don't bother trying to make promises to her that you can't keep.
 
i'm also bisexual and in a long term relationship with a woman. i have never hooked up with a guy, and even though i'd like to it doesn't mean i ever will. there are also a lot of women i'd like to hook up with, but it's just a matter of being faithful, regardless of who you'd be unfaithful with. plus, there's always porn...
 
HansPieter said:
That's what I don't know. I am looking to commit to a monogamous relationship with a woman but could I be satisfied? Probably not. How do bisexual people ever end up with anyone?!!
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Why just a woman? Why not a monogamous relationship with a man? Lots and lots of gay guys went out and dated women, and said exactly that. I used to date women exclusively, but they never satisfied me, because I wasn't looking for a woman, I was looking to convince myself I was straight.

Is that you? I don't know, but the wording of the above, and what you've said, looks pretty suspicious.

Most bisexual guys are capable of committing to a woman and being monogamous. Every guy in a monogamous relationship lives in a world of temptation, whether you succumb or not, has nothing to so with orientation or gender, and is all about your character.
 
To the bi-sexuals.
Is an open relationship possible where you have freedom to do other adult activities?
 
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