I am happier than ever before!!!!

[chobbs]

Today was an amazing day for me. Never before has life worked itself out so well in such a short period of time. For those who are interested, read on.

So the other day, after seeing a thread on this site about craigslist, I checked it out. I came across this ad:

NC State Student Seeking Long Term
Not out, 19 year old, 6'2", 215lb, athletic, white, good looking, very masculine seeking similar. I ask that your stats be somewhat similar, except I am only looking for someone who doesn't come across as gay, masculine only please.

Now this guy seemed (based on 50 or so words) pretty much what I was looking for. All I want, as I'm sure most people want, is somebody to love. However, I had really low hopes about meeting anyone off of the internet, based on previous experiences. But I sent him a really honest email, and we ended up chatting on aim the next day. He seemed pretty cool from our conversation, and after looking each other up on facebook, we both decided that we should meet each other in person.

Today was the day, and it is UNREAL how compatible we are! We clicked immediately, and were both completely honest with each other. We decided to take it slow, because we didn't want sex to fuck up our hopeful relationship. I feel so comfortable with him. I have never felt like this around anyone before, and it is fantastic! We spent the whole day together.

When I came back to Chapel Hill (from Raleigh, 30 minutes away), my girlfriend called me and said that we needed to talk. To make a longer story shorter, she came over, we talked, and we broke up, but on REALLY good terms. She doesn't know that I'm into guys as well as girls, as I'm somewhat of a closet case, and we broke up because we weren't right for each other.

I am ecstatic and I don't think that I'll be able to sleep tonight. I feel so content, safe, comfortable, relieved, yadda yadda yadda. I don't know what to do with myself!

 

[luminum]

Good for you

 

[Smitho]

Good news, it is always nice to hear some good stories on this forum to.

 

[star-warrior]

I am ecstatic and I don't think that I'll be able to sleep tonight. I feel so content, safe, comfortable, relieved, yadda yadda yadda. I don't know what to do with myself!

Awwwww.......

 

[chobbs]

Thanks guys. If this works out, I don't know how I could hide this relationship. It would probably lead to my coming out. Regardless, I couldn't sleep last night!

 

[chobbs]

I still feel somewhat in shock that I've met this guy. I'm gonna want to introduce him to my friends and family, not all of whom know I'm attracted to men. I feel like it's going to be obvious to them that we're into each other, and I bet this could cause a lot of problems. I guess that I should just become 100% comfortable with the whole situation before I try and make moves like that. I also have to make sure that he is 100% comfortable as well.

I feel like I'm at the beginning of something amazing.

 

[RicanDAB]

Chobbs,

Awwww ... this was a really nice story ... a BIG hug for that .. so happy for you!

I was also happy to hear (so to speak) that you were mature enough to handle the breakup with your GF the proper way. Some guys continue having a relationship with a GF and seeing guys on the side secretly and to me that is a ... even if you're bi. I guess that's just me. I am not the type to date more than one person at time. Now hookups for sex only? That is a whole other story in my past ...

You already know that the important thing is to take things slow! I know you are REALLY excited about this new relationship and it's even allowing you to consider the coming out process as a reality. However, don't let that excitement cloud your judgment into moving things along faster than they have to (e.g., moving in together, marriage , etc.). It does not look like you need too much emphasis on this since it looks like you're doing the right thing.

I know the feeling about how much you like your BF so much that you want the world to know. I correlate my recent desire to come out with my fairly new relationship too. I see how comfortable my BF is with his sexuality and how all his coworkers know and it's not really a big issue. I am encouraged by his style to be just like that. Funny how certain people come into your life and make that happen, just like that!

Makes me think of that Diana Ross song, I'm Coming Out which I love. In fact, this YouTube video I found appropriately cute with the track playing on it. The images stop after a minute but the whole song plays on. Hmmm ... I'm gonna put this in my blog too:

​

 

[Lucas07]

Really happy for you! I'm soooo excited for you chobbs! Update us okay?

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Chobbs,

Congrats mate on the strength and courage to take those steps mate, to start your living your life.

Listen to RicanDAB though mate. Let yourself know this guy, enjoy that special beginning part of any friendship or relationship where you learn about each other. You're a guy with good morals and values, and a good healthy dose of common sense too Chobbs given the way you've handled the g/f and the no sex thing so far. Just make sure that you dont get too far ahead of yourself and do things that you'll regret later...and I dont only mean sexually.

The first guy that you meet and are truly open and honest with always feels like the guy you are destined to spend your life with...some do...and maybe you will Chobbs, but be cautious as to how quickly you change your life and make plans that are hard to undo. Right now you are caught up in that wonderful giddy awesome feeling that we all crave so much. But it can blindside you into thinking things are easier than they are.

I'm in no way telling you not to see this guy or not to have a relationship...its such a great time of your life now...cherish it and enjoy it. But use caution mate, give yourself some time and space to really get to know this guy. Spend some time together and see if it feels right for while, before you throw the baby out with the bathwater.

I know you are reading this thinking - what does he know? Doesnt he want me to be happy...what a downer. Thats not what this is about. I want this to be the most amazing time for you. I want this to be the start of something incredible. I want this to be all you want it to be for you.

I also just want you to be safe and prepared for anything mentally and physically.

Good luck Chobbs...all the very best mate! Have the time of your life!

 

[BrandonSBCA]

Congrats Chobbs.

 

[gewhite3]

This is all very good, sound advice.

I wish you the best and hope that this is the one you've been looking for.

 

[chobbs]

Thanks again everyone, and Tallguy - I know you are right. One of the first things we decided together was to take it slow, for that reason; to really get to know each other. But, it is so hard! We are both so eager that it necessitates restraint in order to not go completely head over heels.

But, at least we are aware of what you speak of.

I can't stop smiling.

 

[tallguy297]

Hahaha....yeah mate it is....its the hardest thing in the world to do....

You're a smart guy Chobbs...you'll be ok. Things get sweeter the longer they have to ripen...

Now wipe that grin off your face...lol!

Good luck...be safe and be careful.

 

[drhladnjak]

Chobbs, I'm really happy you found a guy you get along with (and he gets along with you too--great for him!). It definitely helps to have somebody there to figure things out with if it works out sexually or platonically.

Plus, I get a little nostalgic because the first guy I ever dated was a cute, geeky, nervous, closeted engineering student at State. I was living in Carrboro at the time and he was living with his crazy southern baptist family in Cary, so he would always come up to Chapel Hill to meet gay people and hang out. It didn't end up working out, but we're still on good terms even though I haven't seen him in a while being that I live across the country now. Hopefully, you'll have some good memories too!

 

[chobbs]

thank you both for your kind words and everyone for their advice and support

 

[chobbs]

well, he's coming over tonight after he gets off work to hang out. unfortunately we probably wont have much privacy as i live in my fraternity house, but thats okay. its gonna be hard to hide our affection for each other in front of my friends though. hopefully we dont accidentally "out" ourselves!

in all seriousness though, it just keeps getting better and better every time we talk. I can't wait to introduce him to my friends, and all i can think about is how much i want to keep getting to know him.

yesterday we were talking, and the subject of his psychologist came up, and it turned out that his shrink is my best friends dad. the man is pretty much my own father. HOW WEIRD is it that my friends father, a man i practically consider family, is my boyfriend (wow it feels weird saying that) 's shrink!?! I think when we tell my friends dad that he is going to have to recommend another therapist...

 

[bobinri]

Im glad for you Chobbs.

 

[thermodynamics]

Awwww...good for you. That's the feeling we're all going for. Just don't make any rash decisions. But above all else, enjoy!

 

[spooger]

I still feel somewhat in shock that I've met this guy. I'm gonna want to introduce him to my friends and family, not all of whom know I'm attracted to men. I feel like it's going to be obvious to them that we're into each other, and I bet this could cause a lot of problems. I guess that I should just become 100% comfortable with the whole situation before I try and make moves like that. I also have to make sure that he is 100% comfortable as well.

I feel like I'm at the beginning of something amazing.

I am REALLY happy for you, BUT......

if revelation your sexuality to family, friends and co-workers(?) may cause a problem, then my recommendation is......

delay your revelation for a while......your excitement of this moment is wonderful, but if your relationship with your new friend does NOT work out, then you may be left with a long term problem and no boyfriend.....

take it slowly....be sure that you really want to come out....discuss it with your friend....is he out?....will YOUR revelation then cause problems for him?

I think it is very healthy to come out, especialy to close friends and family, but it should be done when YOU are ready.....not just because of circumstances.........good luck!!!!

 

[Riverrick]

Congratulations Chobbs! That's wonderful.

I would take it slow with the fraternity brothers, though. You are kind of head over heels about this guy and not thinking clearly right now. You guys need more time to get to know each other without the stress of coming out suddenly thrown in there.

By the way, he sounds really great.