I am hard to get hard

[chrisdobro]

I don't get hard easily. I don't know why.

I just had another encounter with a guy, who was straight (seriously). He got hard pretty fast and stayed hard. He sucked on me and I didn't get hard. He sucked for over a minute perhaps. We then went onto other things.

Maybe it's because I didn't want to get hard? I don't know.


Anyways, I went to a urologist, who seemed to know his stuff. He had awards and all on his walls and he was recommended to me by my family doctor.

I asked him about my erection issue. The urologist asked me questions, like do I get hard and can stay hard (yes), and others. Then he told me that guys who get hard, are "on something", like they take something or they inject themselves with something to get hard. And that I am the "normal one" meaning that most people need stimulation to get hard and typically do not get hard on their own.

Well, I think he told me that to assure me that I am "normal" and not to make an issue out of it. But I see other guys getting hard fast, with my own eyes, and I am fairly certain that most guys do not take any supplements, nor they inject themselves with stuff. I see with my own eyes that I do not get hard even when someone sucks on me.

I am hard to get hard. It happens, but it takes work and right atmosphere. That is my manifesto.

 

[bankside]

I don't know if that urologist was on something himself perhaps.

I don't just get hard because someone else in the room has an erection. My mind can be a million miles away. And also I'm not hoping to get hard, pop a load and then get out all in under 4 minutes.

Maybe "encounters" don't turn you on as much as something more leisurely?

There's probably some other guy going to the same urologist complaining that he gets stiff in under a minute and even if he's interested, it's embarrassing to react so fast, and no other guy gets hard so quickly so what do I do???!!!

And the urologist probably says "Don't worry about the other guy...he's probably on something that slows him down.. I bet you he's a drinker."

Truth is it varies from guy to guy and also according to the circumstances.

 

[chrisdobro]

Maybe "encounters" don't turn you on as much as something more leisurely?

Thanks. I think this is probably the key. I want a specific thing usually when I am looking to get off, and if it's not there, I am not engaging myself fully and hence my dick is not getting engaged either.

I am a very versatile guy with lots of interests and desires. I am also very guarded of myself. That perhaps translates into me proceeding cautiously and is reflected in the way I get hard. I typically need longer play.

The straight guy did come fast. It's interesting that ... even being straight he did that. If I was with a girl, I have no clue how I'd react.

Lol, and about the urologist, that's probably true

 

[BiMike]

How do you know how Str8 the other guy was? It is all in the mind, sometimes you are turned on by another guy , sometimes you are not ! The more you worry about it , particularly in company the harder it will be to get hard ! You may be watching to much hot porn and hoping you can compete with the porn stars who get hard for a living !
Try and relax hoping to meet the right guy for you! Best of luck.

 

[gefsmith]

Hey there Chris,
I had a few things to say so thought it might be easier to make a quick video... Hope it helps.



Regards

George

 

[PrinceCory]

Thanks George for the video. Good information to have!

 

[chrisdobro]

First, special thanks to George for the video - I've also PMed him my thanks before.

Now, I think I am just the way I am, it is the way it is.

I just have had an encounter with 4 guys. All of them got hard, and stayed hard. There was one guy who got hard and soft and hard and soft, with some stimulation, while I stayed soft throughout, even when one of the guys fondled me for a minute.

And to be honest I did not really want the guys to touch me necessarily, I was more interested in participating and having the guys be stimulated, then them doing me. So I think now that it is more mental for me. I get a certain level of fun with the people, like in this case, and perhaps it is not sexual. I may be too guarded sexually to let go enough and let go. I enjoy seeing other people let go.

For me to let go it needs to be something more special. It is fairly easy for me to get sex if I have to. I thus often seek the "right" kind of sex, one that is above the norm and convention. When doing so I might be missing the mark of true sexual attraction. It may also be hard to find.

Either way, I am the way I am, and while there are some things I can change, I don't know if changing them will be the right thing to do. I think that learning to let go is the major one. A person who can talk me through and teach me how to let go, will be the one who will get me hard. Just one way to look at this, at this late hour, as I am typing this.

 

[chrisw87]

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You need to stay shaved nice to see some professional answers on here too.


@OP: Do you watch a lot of porn as well? I've read that it can cause issues in gaining erections in people that are constantly watching it and it is worth a shot, but I think the above information is the best tip.

Personally unless I have a good mental bond with someone I have some difficulties. For example, in a 4 year relationship, it was difficult for me to gain an erection in the first 3 months of dating. But once I loosened up mentally and we started to mentally bond together and become quite close it was natural and easy.

If you are healthy and have no medical reasons preventing an easy erection it may be a similar situation to what I experience.