I am Lucky

[RRRalph]

I have a brother that is good. Now this I am sure. No individual can say this as I can. I am proud of all that he is. I have no fear of anything as his arm is beside me.

He sleeps now aside of me. Greek one is tender one. American men are not this way. You fear to touch your brother. I do not.

I am the lucky one, i love you very very much

Mitri was feeling particularly protective of me today. Its hard for me to be anything less than solid and he makes it easier for me to feel like the world wont fall apart on the days when i cant keep the hard edge going

Good for you both. What would it be cool to have a brother.

 

[Kyanimal]

"Damnit" You Guys! You've got to cut this out!! You're makin' me all "weepy", and "stuff"!!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[chatolandia]

Mitri and Dreu, it is beautiful what you have!


I miss my little brother (well he is only 4 years younger).

This thread is a great thread, you guys are so lucky to be close to each other, I only get to see him once a year...

and yes I hug him too!! and he hugs back!

 

[Rand]

[snipped] I say you're both lucky to have each other...

I agree with Elvin - you both are special people; thanks for sharing with us. Please continue to inspire us.


Rand

 

[Andreus]

Mitri is a trip and i love him for it

He sits here when he posts and he uses a greek english dictionary and babelfish meticulously spelling every word. He's not fond of the alphabet of the english language.... lol

of course hes still not easily understandable, but.... he speaks english in person better than he writes the grammar of it.

i cant even take the time to capitalize before i hit the post button....

at the same time, i am cautious with people and he is extremely trusting and open with them

thats just a few ways we are different... he is athiest and i am a muslim. that is one of the more important differences that we have that makes things hard for us at times. he refuses to use arabic to talk to me even though he grew up hearing it and speaking it as well.

we are very different men, but we have each other

the one thing we have in common is a large dash of stubbornness

in spite of all of that i have the family i have always wanted

that is priceless

 

[lyconthrope]

^^I think he speaks better english than some british people I have encountered!

 

[Andreus]

^^I think he speaks better english than some british people I have encountered!

he's going to love you for saying that

 

[Kyanimal]

Mitri manages to make himself quite well understood. Perhaps even better than those of us who were born to English!

BOTH of You have held me Enthralled in the many things you've shared with "Us"! (In your own, Unique, ways.)

And, now, I'm even more fascinated with your Religion "disconnect". But ... believe I can understand some of that, too. And that only makes the relationship between the two of You even more interesting!

If only I could possibly have the opportunity to sit down and chat with You Two!!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[lyconthrope]

I wish I was as close to my brothers (or anyone in my family for that matter) as you are too each other

 

[KangaWallaFox]

I have 4 brothers....3 of whom are absolutely fine with me being gay....the other one I've never gotten along with so I honestly dont give a fuck what he thinks. And my second youngest brother wants to beat him up for saying shit about me anyway

 

[GL]

Mitri is a trip and i love him for it

He sits here when he posts and he uses a greek english dictionary and babelfish meticulously spelling every word. He's not fond of the alphabet of the english language.... lol

of course hes still not easily understandable, but.... he speaks english in person better than he writes the grammar of it.

i cant even take the time to capitalize before i hit the post button....

at the same time, i am cautious with people and he is extremely trusting and open with them

thats just a few ways we are different... he is athiest and i am a muslim. that is one of the more important differences that we have that makes things hard for us at times. he refuses to use arabic to talk to me even though he grew up hearing it and speaking it as well.

we are very different men, but we have each other

the one thing we have in common is a large dash of stubbornness

in spite of all of that i have the family i have always wanted

that is priceless

i just want to grab you both up and give you guys a big hug!

don't mind me though if i grab your collective tushies.

 

[Andreus]

Mitri manages to make himself quite well understood. Perhaps even better than those of us who were born to English!

BOTH of You have held me Enthralled in the many things you've shared with "Us"! (In your own, Unique, ways.)

And, now, I'm even more fascinated with your Religion "disconnect". But ... believe I can understand some of that, too. And that only makes the relationship between the two of You even more interesting!

If only I could possibly have the opportunity to sit down and chat with You Two!!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

ahhh

i keep coming back and reading this and it is so complicated for us both

so much that i havent thought or talked about in so long

my mom died when we were children.... that shattered the family... she was a woman of cover and it is one of the reasons i am so impatient with people that judge them and insinuate that they are oppressed when much of their lives are an expression of their faith and religious freedom... she was all that held us together as a family.... her death was the death of our family... she was the heart of all that we were, and in that you can see my fondness for a great many of the women at JUB.

when i came out to my dad at sixteen it was more than he could handle... i had to either live a straight life or leave the family.... i left the family.... Mitri and my dad went back to Athens and i was alone in this country...my isolation led to some survival tecniques that were not very healthy to say the least... some things that happened i simply dont talk about anymore... the loss of my first love many years later is one of them... his death still haunts me

my only link to my mother was her firm and unwavering belief in her faith and it gave me the strength to do what i needed to do.... i was intermittently in touch with my dad as i got older... while he helped with my education and some other things it was always in secret....

My dad kept Mitri and I apart

completely

mitri was all my dad had left and he became his captive more or less... my dad was hell bent on making him the man i wasn't

years passed... i travelled to the mideast with work, to discover my heritage and my faith as Mitri was a virtual captive in Athens to my dads religious beliefs and our family's place in Athenian society

mitri and i hadnt seen each other in a decade... that is how long he kept us apart

when i was injured in iraq during this war... the medical attention was next to nill there and i litterally walked out of the nation into syria with a group of sunni refugees... the local Imams of syria gave me what medicine they could, food and shelter for service to the mosques... my knowledge of the koran comes from the months i spent there debating the prophet with them... my dad got me from there eventually and offered to pay all my healthcare costs and to accept me back into the family openly... but with one condition.... that i would leave kahil, my second lover.... never speak to him again .... I made the promise my dad asked me to make... this is one of my greatest guilts... i chose my father and his money over kahil and his love...

i will always regret that

and then a little less than a year ago my dad came to visit

it seems that Mitri had discovered his sexuality and my dad couldnt handle it... my dad considers himself an abject failure as a father now... broken by his own actions and prejudices... Mitri has been with me ever since... now my father gives me whatever i ask so long as i keep mitri out of athens and out of his life

so while my faith gave me a connection to the strength of my mother and my ability to survive, Islam represents the oppresion and control that my dad weilded over him... and the recent abandonment of him as well... everything about it is painful to him

our lives and our experiences are completely different..

while mitri turns his back on islam, i seek to find my place in it

i have learned that people always leave you for one reason or another and he only knows the ever presence of one man.... he is hungry to know as many people of all types as posible and i fight to keep them at bay

he thinks i am like my dad and i think he is making many mistakes that i made and want to save him from

he is a greek man through and through that reaches for america to escape my father... i am an american man who reaches for Islam and Persia to reach my mother,

even though we have the same parents we could not be more different....

but we are brothers before anything and since he came to me we have begun to recapture the lost brotherhood of our childhood... we see each other through the eyes of boys emotionally i think...

thats a long explanation and it peices together so much of my life that i have up until now only alluded to here and there

i hope its the answer to the question you asked, Chas....

hugs

 

[chatolandia]

Wow!!!

That is a very complex family situation!

I am glad you found each other eventually and that you are still searching for a way to reach some kind of balance with your faith, culture and family. I know its hard, I am still trying to find mine, and your story inspires me.

 

[GL]

thank you for sharing your story with us all dreu.

i really hope that the two of you can find what it is you respectively seek.

but at the same time i'm glad you have one another.

hugs!

 

[Andreus]

I hadn't meant to say that. Suddenly it feels like I've taken all my clothes off.

~ Margo Channing~
​

 

[Kyanimal]

Ah ...

Now it is my time to think, and ponder, a bit ...

I am at a loss for words ...

Your reply is FAR more than an "answer" ...

Much more than I was expecting ...

(And, no ... I didn't even come close to "understanding", before, at all!)

I was going to respond in a PM to You, Dreu. But, I think that now that this is in the open ...

Oh, Man!!!

As much as I have admired your youth, your intelligence, your cunning, your determination, your wisdom, that HUGE HEART that is yours, your vision, and, yes, even your stubborness, and spark of defiance, my overall opinion of You has just jumped another Ten-Fold!! And I had no clue that that was even possible!

And I do not say that lightly! I have known THOUSANDS of people, from Royalty to Peasantry, and NO ONE, among them, has proven to be anything quite like You!

I have known others that have gone through even more than You have. But, the manner in which you've managed to come through your own trials, and tribulations ... The way that you have held to your Ideals, though it all ... And the way you have shared so much of it with "Us" ...

I'm still at a loss for words!

YOU are a Man that has grown (out of necessity/circumstances) much faster than your years have transpired! And, there is a sadness in that. But I also sense it has made you much stronger than most! And can certainly understand when that "hard edge" becomes too heavy to weild. And that's O.K.!!

I am in awe of the eloquence with which you described Your's, and Mitri's, different paths. And I am exceedingly happy that the two of you are finally together again!

I am also feeling very sorry for your Dad! I can not fully imagine the sorrow of such a self-imposed loss! I can only hope that, some day, his eyes, and Heart, will be opened.

And, no, I did not overlook it, nor purposefully leave it out, but, rather, saved it for now. "That" is Your COURAGE! With the LOVE that You, and Mitri, have for each other, I think you both are going to be just fine!

Of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[Andreus]

ahh Chas

you are such a good man.... i love ya for always believing in me so very much but you may have a bit overly romanticized view of some of the choices i've made

i am often distant, cruel, i especially was to kahil, conflicted, unyeilding, emotionally damaged perhaps beyond repair, and driven by internal influences that i use my intellect to hide really well.

i am just a survivor

i think that all of us here are the same type of survivors if we are gay men

i am just a child of my cultural heritage within the world we live...

my courage and wisdom that you percieve may just be a compulsion to find order in the chaos i cannot escape in my mind

the problem with living the life that i have lived is that it damages you... permanently

dunno

but i am very very happy that mitri and i have a second chance

 

[Kyanimal]

Ahh, Dreu!

I'm not, exactly, the "sugar coated", "Keep smilin'!", Guy that you may think I am, either! I have personally been through my own "Darker" experiences, and have "assisted" others in their own "adventures". I didn't quite "fall off the Turnip Truck" yesterday!

Yes! LIFE does have a tendancy to damage us "permanently"! In many ways, and by many means. But, taking it too seriously can also be a mistake! NONE of Us are going to survive it, anyway!

But, YOU are, indeed, a Survivor! And THAT is what amazes Me about You!!

We have ALL made regrettable decisions! We are ALL guilty of reacting in ways that, later, we may find totally deplorable! (Referring to You and Kahil.) And many that I have known, have found themselves having to Pay (even with their very Lives!) for those actions! And, Yes!, I'm also referring to Your current viral situation, in addition of Your Emotional ups and downs!

NONE of Us are Immune to our own Humanity, or the circumstances that come to define our Lives! But we DO have the ability to decide how we are going to "Deal"!

And, in YOU, I have sensed a profound ability of Resilience! With the Power of Your Intellect, You have discovered ways to Bend, to Flow, to Compensate, to "Renew", in the face of some very profound obstacles!

I do not always agree with You! But, You shall always have my Respect and Concern! Your willingness to Share, some Extemely Intimate aspects of Your LIFE, with the rest of "Us", is a Paramount Credit to Yourself!

Even with the "Rose Colored Glasses" off, You're quite an "Incredible Guy", Dreu!

Do not EVER Underestimate that!

And, I'm sure!, You are also going to make the Best of You "second chance" with Mitri!

Seriously ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[Andreus]

well thanks, budd

you know i've always had a big crush on you, so that all means a lot to me

I know this about myself... i get calmer as time passes...

not any less dedicated or any less engaged

just calmer as i go through it... i have very little fear...

what did janis joplin sing?

freedoms just another word for nothing left to lose....

anyway

thanks again Chas

HUGS