I am not a fag.

[Singularity]

As a gay man I find it a bit sad having to explain bisexuals to straight people, so I know where you're coming from... well, sorta.

It boggles my mind how people of this time and age, where we can put a thousand songs on a mp3 player the size of a credit card, still can't grasp the concept of bisexuality. On top of that, the stupid double standard of the girl-on-girl vs. guy-on-guy action makes me wanna strangle people.

I wish that some day, before I die, humankind will evolve and advance as a race.

(I wasn't sure if I had a solid point in there, but I just felt to add my thoughts.)

 

[hothunk222]

it makes sense. the problem is most people have a very sterotypical image of gay guys. When people hear the word gay,they automatically see rainbows, swishiness, and flamboyant behavior. Me, I am gay but you wouldnt think so or even assume that I am just by seeing me. You, have a problem being associated with the femanine, flamboyant, and swishy queen sterotype that most people have of gays...but I will tell you right now not all gays are like that...sometimes i think that its because of those kinds of gays thats its very hard for gays, to be gays in general...so i hear ya man

 

[Danno55]

This is my first posting, and I am not sure I will even do it correctly, but here goes: People, straight or gay often have preconceived ideas about anyone who is different from themselves. Straight people often cannot conceive of a man being attacted to another man, and Gay men sometimes cannot imagine how a man can be attracted to a woman, and (horrors) another man too!
There is definately a double standard in our culture, a video for straight men often has a lesbian scene, and that is fine with most guys. But god forbid a man touches another man!
It is hard to see the world through another person's eyes, but it's the 21st century, I think its time to make the effort to try. We cannot convince the world to do this with us, but we can as a community at least try to do it ourselves!
I personally do not like being with 'swishy' 'queenie' men, it seems silly and fake to me, though I am sure it feels quite natural to them. Hollywood loves the Queen stereotype,and that's where most people get their information. One day maybe the world will recognize other types of gay men, and accept us, and not expect us all to act like comic relief in a bad sitcom.

 

[inlovewithanton]

Even though the topic of whats really bisexual has been debated to the point of insanity, I still am pissed at how naive some people are.

After hearing a friend of mine say bisexuals are fags, I debated with him to find out why. It was a large group and we were all debating inside a Starbucks. The gist of what they thought a bisexual is, is a gay guy that is willing to have sex with a girl. Unfortunately thats the thinking of most people of what a bisexual guy is. Being that I'm in the closet still alot of this stupid thinking pisses me off, assuming that a bi guy is a screaming queen who's only willing to screw a girl.

Now I'm not against "Gay Culture", pride parades, drag, rainbows, etc., but I don't embrace those things because I don't feel they're what I'm about, not to mention most bisexual guys are looked down on by the gay community as well.

Girls on the other hand, if they say they are bi, they are instantly cool. Thanks to so many homophobic guys saying things like "two woman is beautiful, two guys is disgusting and evil" I've never heard anyone refer to a bisexual girl as a dyke or anything to that extent. Most girls who say they're bi arent really, they are just saying they are to be "edgy".

ALOT of girls say they would'nt date a bi guy cause they're affraid of him leaving her for a guy. Gay guys say they would'nt date a bi guy cause they're affraid of him leaving him for a girl. Cheating and leaving is going to happen no matter what sexuality it's in context to.

So being that I'm disconnected with the gay and straight communitys cause I fancy both sexes, I take great offense to being called a fag. With that said I'll say it again. I am not a fag.


p.s. - Sorry if this doesnt make much sence, I'm just venting.

I agree you are most certainly not a fag.

You are however half a fag. Such is life. lol.

 

[OutofEden]

lol at inlovewithanton (1/2fag indeed)

You're whatever you allow yourself to be labeled with. One boy at work constantly refers to his homosexuality and is routinely called fag or homo in a non-discriminatory way. I would never tolerate someone saying that to me and despite it being fairly clear that my personal taste is in men, I keep my personal life personal. I recommend just laughing at anyone who doesn't understand your life, because they probably don't understand their's either.

 

[AresIncarnate]

It sounds like you worry far too much about how other people label you. If someone called me gay, I really wouldn't be all that offended because it's partially true. I guess I'm inclined to embrace it.

BUT...if someone called me a fag, I'd likely call them a hate-spewing, trailer-trash SOB. I have a problem with that word, not what it implies. Maybe it's different where you all live, it's purely offensive here.

 

[tila123]

i'd say thank you.

 

[schatzeboppes]

You shouldn't worry about what a bunch of ignorant straight guys think. You have to be a real fucktard to speak for anybody else, and that's what they're doing.

 

[probeteam1]

Even though the topic of whats really bisexual has been debated to the point of insanity, I still am pissed at how naive some people are.

After hearing a friend of mine say bisexuals are fags, I debated with him to find out why. It was a large group and we were all debating inside a Starbucks. The gist of what they thought a bisexual is, is a gay guy that is willing to have sex with a girl. Unfortunately thats the thinking of most people of what a bisexual guy is. Being that I'm in the closet still alot of this stupid thinking pisses me off, assuming that a bi guy is a screaming queen who's only willing to screw a girl.

I suppose it's just as accurate to say that a bi guy is a straight guy willing to have sex with a guy. Homosexuality and heterosexuality occupy opposite ends of the same continuum, and bisexuality runs along the middle ground. As there are therefore potentially more "shades" of bisexuality, you're often going to run into trouble defining it, especially by people who aren't very well-informed to begin with. And let's be fair, anyone whose only understanding of gay people is "screaming queen" is probably poorly informed in regards to the many possibilities of sexuality and identity.
I try to take ignorance in stride and look for opportunities to educate without picking a fight.

Now I'm not against "Gay Culture", pride parades, drag, rainbows, etc., but I don't embrace those things because I don't feel they're what I'm about, not to mention most bisexual guys are looked down on by the gay community as well.

Well I'm gay and you're not looked down on by me. Also, there's a lot more (and less) to being gay than "flags, drag, rainbows, etc." It pretty much comes down to having sex with people who habe similar plumbing. The connection to biswexuality there should be readily apparent, as bisexuals often share this practice.

Girls on the other hand, if they say they are bi, they are instantly cool. Thanks to so many homophobic guys saying things like "two woman is beautiful, two guys is disgusting and evil" I've never heard anyone refer to a bisexual girl as a dyke or anything to that extent. Most girls who say they're bi arent really, they are just saying they are to be "edgy".

I've heard people refer to bi girls a dykes. I've also heard them insist that they're basically "lesbians in training." Oddly, this is one of those things I more often hear from gay people than straight people.

ALOT of girls say they would'nt date a bi guy cause they're affraid of him leaving her for a guy. Gay guys say they would'nt date a bi guy cause they're affraid of him leaving him for a girl. Cheating and leaving is going to happen no matter what sexuality it's in context to.

I agree completely.

So being that I'm disconnected with the gay and straight communitys cause I fancy both sexes, I take great offense to being called a fag. With that said I'll say it again. I am not a fag.

I agree. You are not a fag. And to be honest I'm not particularly keen on referring tro gay peole as fags either, generally speaking.

p.s. - Sorry if this doesnt make much sence, I'm just venting.

Understandable.

By the way ... these people are your friends?

 

[TallDude]

So being that I'm disconnected with the gay and straight communitys cause I fancy both sexes, I take great offense to being called a fag. With that said I'll say it again. I am not a fag.

Just curious, would you be offended if someone called you straight (or some horrible slur for straight)? You mentioned being disconnected with both communities. I'm not trying to be judgemental or anything (and i'm sorry if some already asked something similar to this, I just skimmed the replies).

 

[Spiff]

If you're going to have sex with guys, you're going to have to tough it out like the rest of us. Just because you may also have sex with an occasionally female isn't your free ticket from reality.

 

[luminum]

I agree with Qixote.

You seem very well intentioned, but I'm not sure how to interpret your first post. Are they calling you a fag offensively? Are you upset at being called a fag because gay men are fags, not bi men? Are you okay with them using fag offensively toward gay men and don't want it used on you because you're not gay?

 

[foolish082]

ALOT of girls say they would'nt date a bi guy cause they're affraid of him leaving her for a guy. Gay guys say they would'nt date a bi guy cause they're affraid of him leaving him for a girl. Cheating and leaving is going to happen no matter what sexuality it's in context to.

I've heard that a lot and I agree with this part of what you said. People ARE human and if they're gonna cheat, they'll cheat regardless of their sexual preference.

 

[dionyssian]

well, ok. if you say so.

 

[looseliam]

I've gone through and removed some off-topic posts.

Please stick to the topic at hand, if you would.

If you have any questions/concerns, contact myself or another moderator.

Thanks,
Liam

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Cal_soul,

Mate... in an age where its almost a given to feel offended every time someone says something that we disagree with I can understand why you might feel upset at a label.

Labels are mindless meaning less throw aways used by people too ignorant to look deeper than the surface of any debate or topic. They can hurt mislead and obviously offend. It saddens me to think that any of us still feel this way.

But I ask you to look at your own posts and consider what you have written. It doesnt worry me whether or not you are bi, str8 bi, gay bi, bi bi, whatever. I wont ever question or doubt you...and its sure not for me to judge you.

All I could ever hope for you is that you find a soul mate who looks beyond your label. Someone male or female who sees you for the kind articulate passionate guy that you are. Someone who feels and hurts, laughs and cries. Someone who completes you complements you and makes you feel safe.

But you have fallen into the same trap that you accuse your friends of. You have used a label... and a pretty ordinary one at that. And worse you then feel offended by its use.

Cal, we are all different. We are all unique. But the minute we look at each other, despise each other and segregate each other then we are in serious trouble as a community. If you as a bi man, someone different to the mainstream can be so easily offended and then use the term fag so degradingly then ultimately you are falling into the same trap you accuse your friends of.

Dont let yourself stereotype and generalize like your friends... you're better than that.

If your bi then your bi. Its great to see that you know yourself and are happy confident and proud. But please consider the affects your words and actions have too. Either by accident or default you imply that gay men are less than you.

You're no better, nor are you worse. You are you, just as I am me. You are much more than this one thing, much much more. We share some challenges that lay ahead, we share the same frustrations of ignorance, fear and stupidity. We share the desire to feel part of society as equals and the decent capable citizens that we are.

But most of all we desire to lose the idiotic prejudices that labels cause. Because they hurt everyone...not just you.

 

[luminum]

See, that's what I don't get. What does being disattached from the gay and straight community have to do with you being a fag or you being called a fag inappropriate? What exactly do you mean? What is a 'fag' to you?

 

[Boogerqueesha]

I'm a fag.

If anybody other than me calls me one though, they'd better have a damn good reason.

 

[interesting]

I am not a fag, but my boyfriend is!!

 

[luminum]

Hmm, I guess a gay/bi coupling would make rational sense of that shirt phrase, haha.