I am proper pissed off

[looseliam]

I shared your same sentiments not 8 months ago.

What it took for me was to break away from everything that was 'business as usual'.

I quite my job and had a summer vacation - the first of which in 10 years.

It allowed me to just live. I woke up and did what I wanted. No work, no boss, no bullshit.

I went skydiving, to amusement parks, the beach. I spent days drinking with friends. I watched movies, and went for walks. I met an amazing bunch of people I would have otherwise never interacted with.

It allowed me to realign myself and find what is important for me. I found a new outlook on things.

I don't know how flexible your life it, but are you able to take any time off and just clear your mind?

Do you have any hobbies; do you do anything other than work and home?

 

[looseliam]

So, when do you have 'Me' time?

Any clubs in your area? Maybe a trip to Manchester over a weekend - I know there's good time to be had there!

 

[luminum]

You know, my sophomore year in college, when I was 19, I was feeling pretty much the same way about what I was doing. I felt like I wasn't doing anything, just going to lecture, barely doing my schoolwork and then going to sleep day after day after day. I didn't talk to anyone. I just felt depressed and like I wasn't going anywhere.

And then after enough time had passed, I slowly found myself again and life became enjoyable. I made some newer friends and felt confident and I gained purpose in what I was studying. I left behind what I originally meant to study for and found another goal that I was much more passionate about.

There wasn't something magical that happened. It was probably just time.

We're young and who we are and what we are changes all the time. It seems confusing and aimless, and it feels hopeless and pointless. But trust that life will work itself out, because it will...maybe not tomorrow or next week, but it will and when it does, you'll feel amazing.

Don't sell yourself short and don't sell your future short.

You also have to be determined not to let yourself sit around. It's very easy to roll with the inertia of ennui and depression. But if you find something that makes you happy--card games, videogames, frisbee, painting, reading, anything--then grab a hold of it and keep it for 'you time'. Then, if you're ready, spread that out to other people. Maybe join a card game group or something like that.

Also, doing something different and impromptu can actually be surprisingly eye-opening. I'm not one to chill out on my campus, but sometimes I just go wit that fleeting thought and lie out on the grass for no reason when I've got a spare moment and that break where I do something different and random keeps my spirits up.

 

[Horschallen]

If the environment sucks, try your inner resources.

 

[luminum]

Thats actually another thing. I genuinly would change being gay tomorrow

I really dont like anything about it. The culture, being gay, everything. Its not what i want to be.

Gay culture is what you make of it. Gay means you like men and you're a man. It's tantamount to saying that you don't like anything about "blond" culture. Sure there's this nebulous "blond" stereotype, but any fool could see that blonds don't have their own culture.

What most gays share is the identity of being male (as wide and varied as that is), the experience of living on the margins of "normative" society, and for most, discrimination. Beyond that, we're as varied and uniquely opinionated as heterosexuals. If we weren't, we wouldn't have gay conservatives and gay Republicans at the same time as gay radical leftists.

Don't use a scapegoat. Confront your issues head on.

Unless your only issue is that you flat out don't want to like men and you love homogeneity, then being gay isn't your issue.

 

[Shepherd 2]

You are depressed.
It may wax and wane from time to time.
But you describe a sense of detachment from everything.
It is time to see someone, maybe a physician who can
prescribe a medication to lessen the darkness and
sense of detachment.
It may be you need to talk to a therapist face to face.
Your sense of helplessness is overwhelming in your post.
I am very concerned for you. It was good to reach out for help.
Please, go get some help.
Shep+

 

[SilverRRCloud]

You ought to completely refocus.

You are viewing yourself as an outcast and are emphasizing an astonishing degree of your co-dependence.

Nothing puts off other guys more than the signal you seem to be sending: I am alone, I want your company. I depend on it. I fully relate to you.

Only you can give meaning to your life. And that meaning can only come from within and will always have to stay there. Precious as other people may be in our lives, your raison d'être must always be solely within your own control.

If the people around you have not shown too much desire to spend their time with you, take this as a blessing in disguise. They may have their good reasons.

Build in a regular gym routine into your Uni - home - work routine. 3-4 times a week. Do not broadcast anything around. Just do your own thing. The moment a change becomes noticeable, people will come to you with all kinds of interesting ideas. Two inches less around your waist and one inch more around your biceps have made veritable miracles.

Everyone who wants a job usually gets one. How about putting some more effort into using the rest of your time into researching for a better paid job? A few more £££, or $$$ or anything will never hurt. Besides, that CV will look better and more attractive, too.

Nothing succeeds like success. People always find it irresistible.

Yet one more thing. Never admit that you sweated over anything. Life has always been a good breeze and whereas, the other dudes had to sweat their guts out, you were born under the lucky star and knew how to use your talents and luck to your benefit.

This strategy is fairly unbeatable. People are drawn in numbers and are hoping that some good luck may rub on them, too. Of course, nothing of the sort ever happens. But those with a higher emotional intelligence usually win the day and you have a group of good, smart and very loyal friends around you.

At times, friends, too, must be earned.

SC

 

[Txgoodoldboy]

That's it! Just take it one day at a time.

It sounds like you need some "me" time. Do something out of the ordinary. Schools always have thing over than classes.

You might want to see if your school has counselors. Someone, you can talk to.

 

[gameboy 11]

You are TOO young to be going through this shit.

My life is a hell hold too, but I think it's better than yours.

I too am at the lowest point I've ever been in.

I'm 22 a bit older, but still far too young to be dealing with the day to day crap that I deal with.

Um, do you have any hobbies? If not, get some. Try writing, drawing, playing games, whatever.

Also, try and meet more people online. JUB is an excellent place to start! =D

I'm not gonna bag on you because in many ways, we are in the same damn position. I give, give, give and give, and yet my friends have no interest in coming to see me at least once a year!

Friends tend to be overrated these days.

The only person in my life besides family that I can call a friend is this girl down the street, Christina.

I'm gonna cut this short but IM me.

AIM: Gameboy Special

Yahoo IM: leavemebe_11

I want to hear from you, seriously. I wouldn't mind hearing you complain a little until all of your cards were out there. I'm on both right now actually.

Please, give me a holler!!!!!

<3

 

[gameboy 11]

dammit! >_<

You should get yahoo. I'd love to chat with you!!

Please get Yahoo. >_>

 

[gameboy 11]

It takes like 5 mins. to download. Very simple.

You should add more details to your profile too. If you want to...

And to be honest, I guess I could jump on MSN real quick. I just don't use it anymore, so I'd rather not.

 

[wraithsa]

DUDE
sorry to hear
when i went to uni it was 6 years of feeling isolated mostly because wat i was studying required much prep etc. I never got to ave the "student life" everyone loves and got to experience and i was really angry about that. The point is - things change - they always do that is the nature of life - my life is better now but i still have very low times but its the case of knowing that things wll change that helps

 

[tonysw]

Have you noticed the love and care expressed by the above Posts?? These are people who have experienced life and know that at times, the wheels can "fall-off" of life, sometimes quite suddenly.

These are real people who are concerned that you keep going and get past these issues. If they could they would be right there with you physically to give you a hug.

Take the advice given as it is first class. Do something. See a Doctor, write down a list of options. Taking some form of action will make a difference.