I am scared

[subybilly]

Ok, so I have never done anything with a guy before, but I REALLY REALLY am just so curious to, but I don't want anybody I know to find out.

So, do you guys think it is possible for me to kinda experiment a little if I find some guy, or he finds me w/o anybody i know finding out? I guess I am just looking for some first time fun (and am just freakin horny), but don't want people I know to know about it:-\

I know it may sound dumb, but it is what is on my mind right now

billy

 

[Christopher123]

I know it may sound dumb, but it is what is on my mind right now

That doesn't sound dumb, most of us have been there.

As for finding someone to 'fool around' with, that all depends on where you might go to meet people.

Do you have any opportunities?

 

[Roland00]

Nope it isn't dumb.

You don't have to come out now, almost everybody experimented and had lots of sex before we were ready to come out.

Just have fun, cruise for guys, make out with them, sleep with them, etc.

 

[Christopher123]

Yeah, but he needs to meet them first. And somebody in his position, it isn't always easy. That's why I asked him if he even had the opportunity to meet other guys.

 

[tallguy297]

hey Billy,

Theres nothing dumb in what you've asked mate...as Christopher123 said...most have been there before. Feel proud that you had the strength and brains to ask for advice...most of us just rush in and stuff things up...

If you want to experiment and keep this to yourself you need to just take your time...rushing this might cause you to make bad decisions. It'll be hard with a body full of raging hormones but take it steady and dont do anything you might regret. Decide what sort of encounter you want...are you sure you could keep a once of meeting with someone just that...once off? Or do you want to experiment and get to know someone at the same time? Do you want to go all the way or just take baby steps? You'll need to consider what the other person wants or thinks as well...

Look I'm not trying to make this confusing or complicated...although I probably am. What I'm saying is that you need to have a little bit of a plan in your mind as to what you want and how far you want to go. Otherwise you may end up hurt or having a bad experience. Someone else in your position is probably the ideal partner..both of you will want it kept quiet so theres little safety there for you.

But as for your idea mate..its a good one...you can learn a lot about yourself in such a short time - just be careful. Any college clubs or support groups? Are you old enough to go to bars? But please...pick your partner carefully.

Good luck mate! You'll have a ball...learning what you like and dislike - this is the best bit!

 

[subybilly]

thanks so much for the advice guys, it really wasn't confusing, it was very helpful!!
I actually am having somewhat of an opportunity, but the guy lives 1 hour from my home, well, only when I am at home because I currently live on campus. and he kinda seems slightly suspicious to me because he only has 2 pictures of himself (supposedly himself) and send anymore.
and the other thing, it is a private religous campus, so there is no support groups or anything here of the like.

and i guess what I am looking for then, is somebody who is in the same boat, and kinda wanting to fool around, maybe go all the way, but at the same time get to know the person too. I am always up to making new friends. So i guess we'll see, I will keep thinking about it, and I guess if there is anybody in the same boat or just somebody who wants to be friends...hehe, let me know

thanks for the advice so far guys, I really appreciate it

billy

 

[jockboy01]

Well, here it is for those that have been peskering me in PMs.... #1000.... finally. You know it is like sex, the buildup is 90% of the fun

But subybilly, I just had to write here because I was exactly where you are several years ago.

And yes, it is possible. In fact, it's really almost easy with technology and the internet these days.

But please please please, listen to tallguy297. Figure out what you want before you go looking. And that requires a lot of introspection I know. But you have to remember, you only get one first time. And while I don't regret mine as I learned a lot about a lot of things (most importantly myself), I would do it different if I could do it over again. I had my first experience with a guy in a internet one-night-stand, two horney scared kids who really wanted to get off with another guy type of way. I didn't know him, he didn't know me and neither of us really knew what we were doing. So it was all sorts of awkwardness in that sense. Since then, we've actually become good friends. But I wish I could have my first time back and do it with somebody who I knew and was comfortable with and I cared about. It would have avoided all the feelings of guilt, shame, being used, using, that I experience afterwards. I'm not saying this is you, but just using it to illustrate the point to figure out what you want ahead of time.

But we can't turn back time, so I only hope that you can learn from the mistake that I made. Then it would at least be a little bit worth it.

 

[subybilly]

Thanks man!! I will defniately be thinking that as I am going through this. It is just so hard at times being so freaking horny and curious, but I will try! Too bad you didn't live closer to me:-( lol, j/k

anyway, i should get back to my 10 page paper:-\

billy

 

[luminum]

Jockboy's advice is good. My first time was with a friend of mine and we both didn't know what to do first hand, though we had both looked at enough porn to figure it out. I would have loved to have my first time with someone I loved and who really know what he was doing, but I still enjoyed what we did anyway.

But the biggest thing is that when you do go out lookng for some fun, always be safe. Since both my friend and I were virgins it didn't matter, but that's not the point. For people you don't know, don't believe them if they say they're a virgin, because they could always be lying. So always use protection.

If you don't know what protection and what lube to use or how it all works (like oil based lubricants are bad for latex condoms) post another thread somewhere and find out.

Being horny and being gratified is great, but only if you can protect yourself.

 

[subybilly]

Thanks dude! I am going to have to remember that! I am hoping to be in the same situation as you where I don't have to worry about it, but if not the case, I will know what to do!

I just want to thank you guys for all the help, it almost feels like a relief off my chest, i have never let this stuff out before. Maybe there is another guy close to me that is going through the same things? Feel free to message me

billy

 

[jubjub]

Heh, when I was in high school a few years back, I felt the same way. I never actually went through with it though. The closest I got to was making plans with some guy to mess around after school, only to chicken out and say I couldn't make it a couple hours before.

I've never been able to gather the courage to do it, mainly out of fear for safety and fear of being outed? Just not ready for that quite yet.

 

[subybilly]

Heh, when I was in high school a few years back, I felt the same way. I never actually went through with it though. The closest I got to was making plans with some guy to mess around after school, only to chicken out and say I couldn't make it a couple hours before.

I've never been able to gather the courage to do it, mainly out of fear for safety and fear of being outed? Just not ready for that quite yet.

That is exactly how I feel! But I think if I find the right guy who is at least a little more outgoing than me, it might happen

I don't know though.

And again, thanks for the advice everyone, I extremely appreciate it, especially being really new here

billy

 

[thewiz]

I know that I am older than you but I made the decision to come out a year and a half ago. I had been with a guy when I was your age (he was my brother-in-law's nephew). We had jacked off, kissed, sucked, and he had fucked me. I can say it was not enjoyable.....kind of like spit and shove in Brokeback Mountain!

When I was trying to determine if and when to come out, I could not take the decision lightly. Was I gay? Was I bi? Was I just sexually frustrated? I wasn't sure. I went to Chicago and went out to a few of the clubs and, yes, to Steamworks. I found I loved being with guys and I loved making love to a guy. I went back and ended a 19 year relationship, moved to Washington DC from Michigan and have been coming out since.

Take the advice offered here. Go slow. I would suggest if you can get to someplace like Chicago, go try some of the clubs. You'll at least get to look at lots of eye candy; you can dance and squeeze the merchandise. But be careful. Don't believe people if they say they don't have STD's or HIV. In most cases guys that I have talked with "assume" they don't because they aren't presenting any symptoms. Well, that can be deadly for you or, at best, result in some shots of penicillin. Get some condoms, try them on; practice jacking off in them. I would suggest a water-based lube; I know the silicon kinds are all the rage but I break out when I use them. You might try some and see if this happens with you.

Don't rush it; you have your entire life ahead of you!

 

[trawler69]

Hi Billy the advice you have been given is good. You are being very sensible and mature about this in wanting to explore your sexuality before you decide what it is. The internet can be good for this but research the dangers and read the advice as there are predators out there who will lie to you. Communicate with people online but save those communications re-read them for inconsitencies. I've caught people out this way, they forget what they've said and contradict themselves.

Read the "confused" and "please help me" threads on here to make you aware of situations to avoid and ways to deal with them if they do crop up. There are some really good guys on here who have been through it all and will not only give advice but also 20 20 hindsight on what to avoid.

Never be affraid to ask for help on here, it is freely and genuinley given and if you don't want it read by others private message the person you want to talk to. I'm sure they will respond.

The more info you give the more specific can be the reply. I'm sorry I can't really help directly because my situation was a bit different in that the experimentation was offerd to me rather than me having to seek it out.

Well that's my 2cents hope it helps.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Billy...

I just wanted to add something...be prepared to have your emotions play tricks on you when you do this... chances are that you will feel something for your partner before after or during. Be ready for it. It can be hard to distance yourself from that person if thats they way you think you want to go (as a one off) ...look at Jockboys post...you always tend to feel a connection to that person...good or bad. Just be ready for it...

Thats why its so important to think about how you want to do this...and who with.

Good luck mate.

 

[subybilly]

Thanks so much guys, I am really starting to think about this in a full circle now that I am getting advice from all directions. It is just soo hard to stay focused on all points of view, especially when I am freakin horny like I am right now...lol

anyway...thanks again!

Billy

 

[number2]

if you know a girl that always in a giggly way says along the lines of "haha, you like boys!" -but plainy doesnt hate you for it, that is a good place to start. chances are she knows other gay guys and can introduce you to some of her friends. I met a few of my best friends after i came out to my friend like that. I would swear she knows half of the gay population in my city.

 

[subybilly]

i guess I don't really know any girls like that....lol, but I will keep an eye and ear open for that.....

billy

 

[subybilly]

so, sitting w/ my family today, I was like, How could I be gay, I like girls, but wait, I think guys are hot too. So maybe I just wanna kinda mess around w/ a guy and have fun. I guess you could say i am freaking horny, but also sexually frusterated...so if anybody wants to help...heheh

billy

 

[jockboy01]

I think that with time, your feelings will sort themselves out.