I am so pathetic

[nitrogen]

So,

there is this guy in my residence.

K, he's like one of the outsiders in our residence, he has his own small group of people and they're not as sociable as me but he's one of those stereotypical cool people.

Anyway, before I would catch him and his friends talking about me, there's like 3 of them. I've always wondered what they could be talking about and for quite some time we would just look at each other but not in a gay way though lol.

k, not to be conceited but i just knw they're talking about me coz they think i'm one of the cool people too (i know, so highschool) but anyway.. one of them is my friends roommate and i DON'T UNDERSTAND why i feel so attracted to him!!!

Looks-wise, he's not the best looking in the world, he's one of those typical Asian guys with cool fobby hair and clothes but he has the stance and he's just so sexy! LOL

Anyway, recently, even though we kind of had "beef" I started talking to him through this other girl that we both know and our conversations were so natural, and easygoing, and it felt like we were already friends! Total opposite from how we'd usually see each other which is just give a stare and walk away.

But yeah, last saturday, his friends were away for the weekend and I saw him and he was alone and I was just so tempted to talk to him but my pride wouldn't let me. At night though, I was walking around with my friend who needed his help and he kind of left his keys so I had to walk him back to where he was and then we ended up watching an episode of Lost together while talking and it did not felt awkward at all which was so awesome!!!

Oh, I've always thought he was cute before lol and I was always intrigued by him because eversince I moved here in my residence, I've always wanted to find people like me and he was kind of that except he wasn't as sociable so I never really got around to knowing him.

But on Sunday, I was in one of the tv lounges and before, if I was there, he'd just walk away and go to another one but now he went in while I was there like we were already friends and it sucks so much coz there's only a month of school left and I'm so sad how we dnt really have that much left and I don't wanna be attached to him. I kinda am already, I feel like I want to see him all the time,

Like right now, I am so tempted to go up to my friends room, his roommate and borrow a bowl for my noodles lol, but i'm trying to deprive myself from him!!!

HOW DO STOP THIS FEELING? LOL

I told my friend yesterday, his roommate that I was really sad, and it was because I hated myself for being kind of obsessed with him and he doesn't deserve it and I just really liked him.

Funny thing is though, my friend was like, "are you gay?" hahaha. Oh yeah, no one knows i'm gay, i'm very manly in front of people lol. But it was kind of funny how that was the first thing he guessed LOL.

I know this is soo long, i just wanted to share my feelings.
And now, I'm just really sad that even though I want him, I can't have him, or maybe I can but I don't want to? Sigh.

 

[rareboy]

Oh yeah, no one knows i'm gay, i'm very manly in front of people lol. But it was kind of funny how that was the first thing he guessed LOL.

If you sound like you write, I doubt if it is much of a secret to anyone that you are as gay as a circus.

Your friend might be just a little put off by the apparent crush you have, particularly if he's trying to conceal his own homosexuality.

You sound like you are acting like a 15 year old school girl around him.

Man up. Be friendly. Stop the drama.

 

[G-Lexington]

I'll second rareboy's post. If you change the post color to pink, it wouldn't get any gayer. But it goes beyond that.

>>>k, not to be conceited but i just knw they're talking about me coz they think i'm one of the cool people too (i know, so highschool) but anyway..

Sorry, your entire post is "so highschool". You're talking about talking about people, you're talking through people, and you wouldn't talk to your crush directly because your "pride got in the way". Which I guess means you didn't want to be the cool kid talking to the uncool (or "not the best looking in the world") kid. And luckily, your friend is there to offer you the advice that he doesn't "deserve" your attention.

Once you get to college, the "cool kid" game is supposed to fly out the window. I certainly wasn't cool at all in high school, but once college rolled around, us misfits were back on equal footing. And frankly, the jocks and "formerly cool kids" didn't seem to mind at all. We all interacted as equals, and probably expanded our minds greatly because of it. Maybe life is different at your school, in which case, I'm really sorry that that part of your education is missing.

You say there's only a month of school to go, and you "don't have much time left"...which implies graduation. I pray that's not the case. Not because I feel you deserve more time with him (it sounds like he deserves better), but the idea that you're graduating college while still approaching interpersonal relationships at the ninth-grade level is, in fact, kinda pathetic.

Lex

 

[kramer362]

How is it funny your friend guessed you're gay, when you had just told him you were obsessed with a guy?...

and you should add some structure to your posts instead of just typing a stream of consciousness, haha

 

[TX-Beau]

Funny thing is though, my friend was like, "are you gay?" hahaha. Oh yeah, no one knows i'm gay, i'm very manly in front of people lol. But it was kind of funny how that was the first thing he guessed LOL.

Dude, you type with a limp wrist and gush like a 14 year old girl. If you're "very manly," anywhere at all I'd be entirely surprised.

There's nothing wrong with being a little fey. Personally I'm not inclined to sympathize with you simply because of the above homophobia.

If you're not out how on earth do you think you're going to initiate a relationship, let alone make it work. You are going to have to tell the guy at some point you know.

 

[spencer]

best way to not have him like you, tell him that you like his "fobby hair"

 

[Georgiadude]

I don't know where to begin. I'm seldom at a loss for words but you have managed to leave me speechless.

I thought I was reading a twisted version of High School Musical. between the "likes, haha's and lol's" I couldn't make a bit of sense out of this. I hope you are planning on taking an English class or two because you certainly are in dire need of one.

forget high school. this is middle school behavior at best. Yikes.