I am SOOO STUPID!!!

[confusedboy23]

I think the title says it all. Yes, I think I must be one of the stupidest guy on earth. Here I am venting my thoughts again.........

If you've read my previous thread http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=120606 - you will know that many guys have advised me AGAINST contacting him again, advising me NOT to go out ith him. Did I listen? NO, I went against that advice and I sent him an email exactly 3 weeks ago saying "hey, let's meet up for lunch. and oh by the way, i'm moving overseas next year too".

For those 3 long weeks, I have been waiting and checking my email everyday, several times a day just to see if he has replied. You've guessed it right, NO, he has not replied. That sent me on another roller coaster ride which I know some you might say I deserve it. I've been asking myself again and again these crazy questions - 'were we real in the past?', 'did he love me before?', 'why is he ignoring me?', 'is he lying to me?' and of course, 'wtf is wrong with him for not seeing me before he moved?' and bla bla bla. I guess I can just spend forever figuring that out and still not know the answer.

I've had a weird dream one day last week when I woke up and quickly checked my cell phone and realised it was a dream. I dreamt that he text me. Silly me! Then, there were a few occassions, when I could not help but dig out his photos and look at them.

I feel OK today. I don't crave for him today. But I've just sent him an email saying 'i hope you're doing fine at the new city'. Why did I do it? I don't know. Maybe I was trying to be friendly, maybe I was nosy, I don't know.

I'm now just afraid that this email will lead me to think of him more. I hope it won't. I think he must have moved, and I don't think I'll see him again. And of course I'm thinking, what if he doesn't write me anymore? What did I do to make him stop writing to me? Should I be happy or sad? I really don't know.

Thanks for listening.....

 

[WYSIWYG]

I agree....it is hard after you have had a relationship. It is hard not too call him. Not to text message him, or email him. My ex and I were on Yahoo messenger every day when we were not together. He dumped me in July, but what am I doing? "Out of habit" I launch messenger everyday!!! Sometimes he is there, but it is not the same thing. We do not share the same feelings anymore..and then when he goes offline, I do the same thing. Question why I am doing it. You have to do what I need to do, and let go of him. You loved him, but it seems as if it was not the same for him. Move on. I am sure you will find a better mate than he was in the near future!

 

[Riverrick]

But I've just sent him an email saying 'i hope you're doing fine at the new city'. Why did I do it? I don't know. Maybe I was trying to be friendly, maybe I was nosy, I don't know......

Hey Confusedboy! I totally understand why you are still thinking of him and why you wanted to see him one last time. I think its very hard to be alone once we've felt what its like to be connected to someone, to love them and to feel loved. Your aloneness is probably much more painful and pronounced now it was before you met him. That's very hard to endure.

I do have a little trouble understanding why you are being so nice to him, however, when he does things that seem insensitive to me. Such as not answering your Email. I wouldn't be as nice. I'd have called him on it.

But in a way, I understand not understanding you. That's because when I broke up with my bf's, I did things that no one understood except me (and not even me at times). So I remember that and give people a lot of slack nowadays.

Well anyhow, at least you're screen name still fits you. I don't even live close to the river any more.

 

[confusedboy23]

Thanks guys! It's always comforting to know that there's some awesome JUBbers here that are always ready to lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on!

I've been too busy piecing together a new PC today so I haven't been thinking of him at all!

I'm just glad to be back on JUB - my computer died on me yesterday!!!

 

[confusedboy23]

I agree....it is hard after you have had a relationship. It is hard not too call him. Not to text message him, or email him. My ex and I were on Yahoo messenger every day when we were not together. He dumped me in July, but what am I doing? "Out of habit" I launch messenger everyday!!! Sometimes he is there, but it is not the same thing. We do not share the same feelings anymore..and then when he goes offline, I do the same thing. Question why I am doing it. You have to do what I need to do, and let go of him. You loved him, but it seems as if it was not the same for him. Move on. I am sure you will find a better mate than he was in the near future!

I did that too! There wasn't a day that I wasn't on messenger even after we broke up. I was still there for him....... I don't know why he's doing this to me, why he's ignoring me when it was him that told me time after time how important it was for him to have a friend like me. But, I guess I can only grow stronger as the days go by.....

 

[confusedboy23]

Hey Confusedboy! I totally understand why you are still thinking of him and why you wanted to see him one last time. I think its very hard to be alone once we've felt what its like to be connected to someone, to love them and to feel loved. Your aloneness is probably much more painful and pronounced now it was before you met him. That's very hard to endure.

I do have a little trouble understanding why you are being so nice to him, however, when he does things that seem insensitive to me. Such as not answering your Email. I wouldn't be as nice. I'd have called him on it.

But in a way, I understand not understanding you. That's because when I broke up with my bf's, I did things that no one understood except me (and not even me at times). So I remember that and give people a lot of slack nowadays.

Well anyhow, at least you're screen name still fits you. I don't even live close to the river any more.

LOL, I definitely am still confused, but not as confused as before!

I guess it's just not my nature to be a meanie.....

 

[190E]

You fumbled the ball, pick it up and move along for the touchdown. I most recently did that too, and have too come to realize that it wasnt such a bright idea, hence me not talking to him again. I had him on ignore on AIM, I never answered his calls, or his texts, and if I saw him, I'd ignore him in public. I gave back everything that was his, and got rid of things that reminded me of him. Now, it's time for me and you to do the same thing and move on, just forget him, and find someone better, because it's obvious he wasnt meant to be yours, or else he would still be there.

 

[jockboy01]

I agree that tomorrow is a new day. Try again tomorrow and if you fail, try again the next day. Eventually you'll succeed. The "I wish I knew how to quit you" line seems to fit nicely here.

 

[confusedboy23]

It's another day today!!

It's just funny to think of myself how I could have been so strong for the past few weeks and all of a sudden, I'm in these shitty mood again.

I'm OK today and let's hope it will only get better.

He hasn't replied me and I think I'm determined to not write him again.......

Thanks guys!

 

[Riverrick]

It's another day today!!

It's just funny to think of myself how I could have been so strong for the past few weeks and all of a sudden, I'm in these shitty mood again.

I'm OK today and let's hope it will only get better.

He hasn't replied me and I think I'm determined to not write him again.......

Thanks guys!

You obviously cared about him a lot, confusedboy. Unfortunately, the more you feel for someone, the longer it takes to get over them.

I wish he had given you some closure. That may have helped. Its still a long process no matter what. Highs and lows. Keep writing, though. Don't be alone with this stuff. One day at a time.

 

[confusedboy23]

You obviously cared about him a lot, confusedboy. Unfortunately, the more you feel for someone, the longer it takes to get over them.

I wish he had given you some closure. That may have helped. Its still a long process no matter what. Highs and lows. Keep writing, though. Don't be alone with this stuff. One day at a time.

Ahhh....'closure'?! Yeah, that has always been the 'one' thing I've been longing for but I don't think I would find it anytime soon, if ever.

Yes, I've cared for him a lot and I'd be in denial to say that I just don't care about him anymore because the fact is I still do. I don't think I can ever hate him but I know that I just need to move on and I know that I WILL make it!