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I came out to my Mom today...

bigfun81 said:
Congrats to you! I can only imagine your fear and trepidation. . .I say imagine for I am not there in my journey, I am pretty sure my mom has her suspicions, but I am in no hurry, and I sometimes have attraction to girls, and I guess, lets keep em guessing right? As for your dad, I feel the same way, I know I will never be able to tell him, it would really upset him and it would be bad for his career-he is a pretty well known televangilist and religion professor.
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I can sort of relate to that since my dad drives the chruch van and my mom plays the keyboard for the church.
 
I am a bit late here but many congrats for doing that. You will be an inspiration to others on here by relating your experiences which many have gone through but which many have yet to go through. Your post was wonderfully honest about your feelings and your Mums reaction was great and I can so understand the worries about your Father. (*8*)
 
Great news, one more batting on "our" team. Swing high & hard Darkness!
 
COngratulation. Parents usually deny the fact and question the fact at first, however, after awhile they get over it. :D
 
Congrats Darkness!
A giant step out of the closet into the light of day. It took a lot of guts to tell her. You did good, man.

I glad that your mom took it well!
(!)
 
vetteboi said:
Sounds like your mom could really use Pflag to help her adjust.
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I agree. Sounds like shes very, almost unconditionally loving, a great mom. It also sounds like she doesn't quite know what to think, and she doesn't really understand what kinds of trouble do and don't lie ahead.

She sounds like a great person, and she shouldn't have to adjust all on her own. She's probably very worried about you- Pflag would help loads.
 
Hey Darkness

Mate congratulations on telling your mum!!! Thats a huge step mate...something to be really really proud of!!!!

I think the Pflag thing is probably too much too quick for your mum. You have to understand that while you've had a life time to adjust...shes had next to no time.

And without her telling your dad, you're the only one she can talk to, ask questions and seek reassurance. All she wants to know is that you're ok, that you're safe. Her acceptance and love is so heart warming and beautiful. Her concerns are normal and natural. And of course she will sometimes feel its her fault because she doesnt want you to be different and hurt because of it.

But you guys can grow together. You can learn and teach each other. Just continue to share and love and trust. You're bonds will grow stronger and stronger... and soon enough she'll know that you are ok...and safe.

And Darkness...mate dont underestimate how the people who are close to you and who love you will love and accept you. You will blow their misconceptions about being gay out the window. You'll show them that its ok...that you're still the same guy they love and care for. You'll shatter their homophobia simply be telling them who you are. The same freind and family they always new.

Thats the strength of being you.
 
Congratulations Darkness! What a wonderful story and a great memory you will have all of your life. I'm really impressed by your mother. She said all of the right things. And continues to, with her demonstration of her concern about your well being.

My mother took it badly initially and my father took it well. So one never really knows sometimes. They are both much better all of these years later, but still say ignorant things.

Thanks for including us in your coming out. It is indeed an honor.
 
Darkness said:
Now, I have another problem! You see when I came out to her... I told her to keep it secret from him. She is an honest person and now I am making her keep my secret. I feel awful now and I have this strong urge to just get it all over with and come out to my Dad today.
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Better discuss it with your mother first. Talk about why you want to come out to your father and why you don't. Tell her what you are afraid of. And make sure she's there when you do it.

Its her choice whether to honor your request to keep it a secret from your dad. She could tell you its too hard and ask you to let her do it. If she hasn't done that, then I wouldn't worry about it. Good luck with whatever you decide. You're a very brave guy! ..|
 
You should be very proud of yourself to take this important major step. I'm very happy for you. You should fill your mother in about homosexuality. She doesn't seem to know that much about it. I'm glad for you she took the news in the best way possible!

Ralph
 
Sounds pretty good to me. I think it's normal that parents question there part in it. While my mother didn't, I'm sure others have.

Good luck with your dad whenever you decide to tell him. Hopefully, you will be out of the house by then. ^_^
 
Good luck today. We'll be waiting to hear how it goes. I think your mom can protect you and the sooner your dad knows you're gay the sooner he can adjust to it.

p.s. I love that font size. Its looks so nice and clean and is easy to read.
 
Good luck Darkness...

Its the hardest thing to do...but ultimately its the right thing to do too...sometimes thats just how it works. You should feel proud that you feel this way...its a burden you dont want to give to anyone and your mum would be proud to know that you're thinking of her as much as yourself.

You had the strength and courage once before...you'll find it again. And with your mum by your side your dad will soon enough come to grips. It's always a shock to parents...but after all he is your dad and your his flesh and blood. A little time after the dust settles he'll soon realize just how important his son is.

And as always Riverrrick is right. We'll be here waiting for you to keep us updated...good or bad. You're never alone in this mate.
 
Darkness,

Been following your updates .. and I am praying all goes well for you ... I hope you are pleasantly surprised by your Dad's reaction. And don't feel bad about having wasted any time. Start living now! I came out 3 months ago @ 37! I'm living now with no regrets.

Please keep us posted ... we're here for you!! (*8*)
 
That's great news, Darkness! ..| I know exactly how you feel. It wasn't too long ago, I was doing the same thing. I imagine your parents will talk with each other about it now, so don't think your dad will stay in 'denial' for very long. This just proves that he loves you even if he comes across like a jerk at times.
 
Congratulations Darkness! What a brave guy you are. You did just a wonderful job of coming out to both of your parents.

What's next? Discovering who you are with no shame to bind you. Being a teenager again and perhaps starting to date. Try to make some gay friends to help you with that and to share your passions.

You really honor all of us by sharing your story with us. (*8*)
 
What's next?

Freaking out about the relationship between you and your parents, and wondering what they think...

and then realizing that you were just being silly ;)

Congrats! :wave:
 
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