I can't come out, and I've not even sure...

[Seasoned]

You are just as close to God as you always were. The Christian sect you belong to is just plain wrong. You can be religious and gay by finding a welcoming church.

There is no question that you feel alone, sad and possible scared. It's got to be tough for you, but you are not the first and won't be the last gay person in your church.

Some gay people in your situation have to expand their horizons in order to live the life they were meant to live. It's not healthy to deny who you are, especially to yourself. It took me a while, but I view my homosexuality as a gift. I hope that one day you'll feel the same way. Take good care of yourself.

 

[HornyHenry]

With friends like those who needs enemies?
Fortunately I learned of the evils of religion starting a quarter of a century ago. As one man said, "I worship God, Not religion".

 

[Eagle653]

If judging from your porn watching habits, the answer would appear to be yes.

Now, what do you do about it? For starters, you probably have your friends pegged pretty clearly. Perhaps it's time to expand your horizons a bit and meet new, accepting, people and test the waters and see how you really feel.

Good luck. It doesn't sound like you have a built-in support system nor are surrounded by accepting people. A change of pace is probably in order!

 

[conrad]

The world is entitled to what it can see. Wise persons keep their sexual relatonships private.

You are not alone. There are persons out there who would be delighted to be your friend. So the right parh would seem to be to be friendly and you will likely be surprisedthat the friendship is returned.

Friends become more than friends and that is when sex is likely to happen. Keep it personal and private. Loving partners find that sex confirms the bond that already exists.

Consider that it may be wise never to "come out" After all, who needs to know except you and your partner?

You will learn that there are some folks who simply cannot handle the truth about themselves and about others. Don't bother to try to clue them in.

Our ancestors have been finding their way in this for thousands of years. You too can be confident when you accept yourself and others.

 

[hotatlboi]

Thanks everyone. I think what confuses, and frustrates me the most, is that I'm not supposed to be like this, why am I gay when I am a christian?

You have to get over the self loathing and negative stereotyping that the religion feeds you. That is your first step.

1. You are gay because you are, why you are doesn't really matter. That's just the way you ended up and nothing can change that.

2. There is nothing wrong with being gay. This is the key one. Would you ask yourself why you were left handed? (if you were) Probably not. It's just as silly to view being gay as a negative. It's just one characteristic that you have. It's one you share with millions of people and is completely normal. Furthermore it does define your entire existence.

 

[ziliphin01]

No need to come out of the closet. Nobody needs to know you're sexual interests.

My family are mormon. My friends are straight. I've been with a 54 year old man for about the past 3 years and nobody even knows. As far as they know I sleep at a friends house and in future I'll just be his "flatmate".

What's the difference between friends and friends you have sex with? The difference is if people know about it I guess. You'll figure it out >_> cya

 

[ziliphin01]

Thanks everyone. I think what confuses, and frustrates me the most, is that I'm not supposed to be like this, why am I gay when I am a christian?? I think I may talk to my pastor, just to get it off my chest and see if I will be accepted, or crucified. But again, I have not decided entirely, and may decide to take the advice given here and just try to gravitate to the people more accepting of gays, so that I do have a support system in place if/when I come out.

Realise that nobody knows crap about heaven. If you're looking at religions and diving into the beliefs, read the bible and interpret it your own way. Nobody knows better than you do when it comes to religion and don't feel like you're doomed to hell when sexual interests define themselves naturally and out of your hands. If there is a god, he will have to see the faults in his design if homosexuality is wrong. Of course, you always have the choice of being with a girl or guy. Sexual interests might not be there but you will still love either and do your best to please. None of that lying to yourself crap "im really gay" be open with the lover you meet in future and work through it with them. Forget the rest.

Sorry quick response. You're safe though

 

[rareboy]

So you're a homo.

Own it. You can be successful and happy if you allow yourself to be.

Ditch the homophobe 'friends'. They're deadweight.

Ditch the idea that Christianity is incompatible with being a homo. Christ never uttered a single word about homos.

Paulists tend to take a hard line on this, they seem to think that Paul was speaking directly on behalf of Christ, which of course, is patently absurd, but they can conveniently reconcile themselves to ignoring his other exhortations.