i cant even hook up on craigslist

[shadowfang156]

i want to experiment with a guy for the first time, but surprisingly, i cant even find anyone, literally anyone to hook up with on craigslist. ive posted ads and responded to peoples ads, but to no avail. am i ugly or the are the people in the city i live in just really picky? i have even lowered my standards a little bit. personally, i didnt want anyone older than 29 but i extended it to no one older than 35 and didnt mind if the person was a little bit chubby. im 22, about 5'8", and a little bit chubby (about 35 lbs overweight) but ive been doing the insanity workouts and doing strength training so i am getting back in shape. its almost been a month and i've only dropped a couple pounds, but my weight loss is very noticeable. girls usually tell me im pretty cute or say im decent looking to say the least. im also half filipino/half white but a lot of people mistaken me as latino or latino mix-so i dont know if my ethnicity is working against me?

bottom line: how can i hook up on craigslist?

ive also tried grindr, adam4adam, and manhunt-still had no luck. personally, i dont like manhunt because there seems to be a lot of old people on it (could be just the city i live in)

 

[mario24]

The btm line is drop those 35 pounds of overweight.. that is quite a bit for a 5'8 dude. Drop the weight and your success will improve.

it's just the fact that overweight dudes with guys generally dont do well.. like it or not it is how it is

 

[yaboy456]

wow state do you live in?? im trying to same thing and got no where too

 

[pushupsonmymouth]

What kind of action are you looking for? I'm also curious as to how your ad reads. Would you mind posting one of your ads on hear for us to read? Maybe we could help you with it. I have had much luck on Craigslist. Sometimes it does take a while though.

 

[shadowfang156]

wow state do you live in?? im trying to same thing and got no where too

florida lmao

 

[shadowfang156]

What kind of action are you looking for? I'm also curious as to how your ad reads. Would you mind posting one of your ads on hear for us to read? Maybe we could help you with it. I have had much luck on Craigslist. Sometimes it does take a while though.

heres a sample from one of my old ads:

title: first timer looking to hookup - m4m - 22

looking to hook up with a guy tonite. be good looking, at least have a decent looking body (i wouldnt mind a little bit chubby, just dont overdo it), disease free, discrete, and masculine acting. not into femmes, chubs, or old people. im 22 so be around 18-29. i can travel, but cannot host.

 

[yaboy456]

florida lmao

what you should be able to find someone!
i live in alaska only ones that reply are old
guys im only 19 so no old for me

 

[shadowfang156]

The btm line is drop those 35 pounds of overweight.. that is quite a bit for a 5'8 dude. Drop the weight and your success will improve.

it's just the fact that overweight dudes with guys generally dont do well.. like it or not it is how it is

yeah it is. even though ive lost a few pounds, many people tell me it looks like i lost at least 10. ive even replied to ads where they explicitly say they dont mind much stockiness in a guy, we've traded pics (and some of the guys ive seen arent bad looking at all) and i still have no luck

 

[shadowfang156]

what you should be able to find someone!
i live in alaska only ones that reply are old
guys im only 19 so no old for me

the sad part is that even though there are a lot of retirees in the small city im at, i live near a community college, a small university, and im about 35 minutes away from the beach. smh

 

[wi2486]

I feel the same way lol just checked my adam 4 adam site and no messages lol your not alone

 

[mario24]

Two big strikes here..1.. most guys any more dont want to deal with the curious or closeted. 2. Is the weight issue. This is no surprise at all you dont get many responses

 

[midnight81]

Don't listen to Mario. Sure, there are going to be a dozen shallow jerks out there who won't want to hook up with you because of your size, or your looks or any number of superficial factors. Especially in the world of online hookup searches. People treat it as if it's a wish fulfillment service. But don't let Mario make you feel shitty about your body. There are also guys out there who will find your body type sexier than they would if you were a skinny twink and instead of feeling ashamed and bad about yourself, they'll make you feel hot. Trust me---I'm husky with a big belly and, while it may help that I'm in New York City where there is much more selection, I'm able to find guys to hookup with whenever I look. This is not about your body.

What might be getting in your way is confidence. It may also be the first-timer thing. A lot of guys don't want to waste their time showing an inexperienced guy the ropes when they just want to get off. Don't mention that it's your first time and if you're worried they'll be too rough with you while you're bottoming, just tell them it's been a while and to go slow.

I also think it would help if you included what you were looking for in your post. Are you looking to fuck or just do oral? Are you top/bottom/versatile? What are your stats? Do you have a pic to trade? Stuff like that will let people know what they are getting into BEFORE they message you and they'll be more likely to bother.

You should also sign up for *******.com and other sites for bears, cubs and other adorable animal nicknames for bigger guys. I'm sure you'll find some guys who think you're sexy on there. Remember, one guy's "not interested" is another guy's dream hunk.

 

[midnight81]

That's Bear*4*1*1 (without the asterisks). G.D. site policies.

 

[blonguy]

Two big strikes here..1.. most guys any more dont want to deal with the curious or closeted. 2. Is the weight issue. This is no surprise at all you dont get many responses

Actually most of the ads I see specify they would rather curious guys. They also specify not wanting any fem guys. So stating you're curious lets them know you are "normal" and masculine. I'm not sure about your area OP, but around here most ads specify wanting masculine guys. If you can make clear you're an average guy that helps your chances from my exp. Weight is a factor though, I'm not sure how you are proportion wise, but honestly most guys also look for average or slim guys over heavier guys online. People surfing for hookups can be extremely picky; I guess people want to make sure they meet up with someone they like or are attracted to.

You don't sound that much overweight though so that's just something you can work on to increase your chances. With time you'll find someone who's less picky in the meantime.

 

[mario24]

Don't listen to Mario. Sure, there are going to be a dozen shallow jerks out there who won't want to hook up with you because of your size, or your looks or any number of superficial factors. Especially in the world of online hookup searches. People treat it as if it's a wish fulfillment service. But don't let Mario make you feel shitty about your body. There are also guys out there who will find your body type sexier than they would if you were a skinny twink and instead of feeling ashamed and bad about yourself, they'll make you feel hot. Trust me---I'm husky with a big belly and, while it may help that I'm in New York City where there is much more selection, I'm able to find guys to hookup with whenever I look. This is not about your body.

What might be getting in your way is confidence. It may also be the first-timer thing. A lot of guys don't want to waste their time showing an inexperienced guy the ropes when they just want to get off. Don't mention that it's your first time and if you're worried they'll be too rough with you while you're bottoming, just tell them it's been a while and to go slow.

I also think it would help if you included what you were looking for in your post. Are you looking to fuck or just do oral? Are you top/bottom/versatile? What are your stats? Do you have a pic to trade? Stuff like that will let people know what they are getting into BEFORE they message you and they'll be more likely to bother.

You should also sign up for *******.com and other sites for bears, cubs and other adorable animal nicknames for bigger guys. I'm sure you'll find some guys who think you're sexy on there. Remember, one guy's "not interested" is another guy's dream hunk.

To be clear the point wasn't to make anyone feel shirty. It's a reality check that it's just true that being chubby normally doesnt help one get laid. It's just the fact.

Odds of getting laid will improve pretty dramatically if your in great shape. Some may not like that fact but it's true. And extra weight is relatively easily handled with diet and exercise. The OP was soliciting advice on how to get laid. Loosing the weight will go a long way to help that and prob the single biggest factor hindering his success rate at this point.

 

[brighthungthing]

heres a sample from one of my old ads:

title: first timer looking to hookup - m4m - 22

looking to hook up with a guy tonite. be good looking, at least have a decent looking body (i wouldnt mind a little bit chubby, just dont overdo it), disease free, discrete, and masculine acting. not into femmes, chubs, or old people. im 22 so be around 18-29. i can travel, but cannot host.

ok dude. unless you meet these people in person and then they reject you, it isnt actually about what you look like, it is about what the photo of you looks like.
i cant even belive you are starting this thread without showing us some photos.

Also, to be honest your add makes you sound like a total douchebag. which i'm sure your not, so you defs have to re-think your wording:

instead of talking about all the things you dont like, talk about the things you do like, and be more specific than "decent looking".

describe yourself, show photos of yourself, and try to present yourself as somebody that people would like to have sex with.

also using full words and sentences would be a nicer add than this abrupt bullet point style that almost makes it sound like your yelling.

I hope you can relieve this message as encouragement rather than criticism
happy hunting!

 

[Just1Cool]

Two big strikes here..1.. most guys any more dont want to deal with the curious or closeted. 2. Is the weight issue. This is no surprise at all you dont get many responses

You're part right. Being overweight is a dealbreaker. It doens't matter if your gay/bi/curious/married/closeted/dl whatever. If you're in good shape or even decent shape and at least somewhat attractive, you can get laid easily with any of those situations cuz bottom line, most guys wanna fuck hot guys. Being overweight is a tough sell.

 

[Benvolio]

No doubt part of the problem is your weight. At 22, it should be easy to lose a pound a day. I suggest you go onto a NO CARB diet for four days. After the first 48 hours you will cease to be hungry, and the four days will show you how effective it is. Eat meat, fish, chicken turkey, very low carb veggies (broccoli, green beans, cauliflower, celery ) some cottage cheese. You don't have to count any thing or weigh anything, but remember you are trying to lose weight. Exercise as you feel like it but you don't need to push it. Let us know if you try it.

 

[midnight81]

You guys all need to STOP with the body-shaming and the fat hate. Seriously! I'm probably bigger than this guy and I get laid all the time. It is not his body size that is keeping him from getting laid, and you all telling him that being fat makes him undesirable is going to make him feel shittier and not help his situation.

Seriously! Stop it! I'm telling you flat out. I'm fat. I get fucked all the time. It's not the issue. Just because you all might be shallow bitchy queens doesn't mean everyone is.

Shadowfang---I don't know what you look like, but I can tell you right now that if I thought your face was cute, your size wouldn't matter to me. I'd hit that in a heartbeat. Don't give up hope!

 

[Benvolio]

Look again at his first post. He is already trying to lose weight without success. He is right to do so for his health and many other reasons. You may find sex, but there is no question that his choices are more limited if he is fat. The older he gets the harder it will be lose weight and if he does not control it, he will get fatter as he ages. Fat people get less respect. The find it harder to get jobs that they would thin.
I have struggled with weight for years so I don't want to encourage a young person to neglect himself if he can help it. Neither should you.