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Maybe a little more detail would help.
You can't get hard, AT ALL with someone? ... or just while bottoming? <--- I've heard this is common.
If it was the first option, maybe you're just not relaxed, and being too self conscious.
Some guys can bone up in 2 seconds, other guys need more romance and foreplay.
Take your time, and relax... I'm sure everything will work itself out once you're comfortable with the guy.
Can you get hard with someone you are not attracted to?
During foreplay and sex, I can get hard but only afew seconds and dropped off again.
Maybe too much porn. Porn is pure mind sex and I can get hard.
But the real thing is nice but not as horny.
Not sure how to teach my mind to be horny when having sex.
With porn, it's just you, and you're perfectly relaxed. No expectations but 'FUN'.
With someone else, it's more like:
How is my breath? Does he think I'm too fat? How clean are my sheets? Does he like me, or just using me for sex? What if he spends the night? What will I fix for breakfast? Did I clean the bathroom? What if my Mom calls? What if it hurts? What if I fart? Will he laugh at my decorating? What if the condom breaks? OMG that tickles! I have to pee! He wants to do WHAT? I wonder how many guys he's been with? I should have clipped my toe nails. Did I clean the litter box? Do I still have that zit on my ass? Do I have food in my teeth?

… breath?… fat?…clean … he like me… using me for sex? …spends the night…clean the bathroom?.... my Mom calls?.... hurts? ...I fart?... decorating....condom breaks.... that tickles! ... pee!...WHAT? how many guys.... toe nails.... litter box.....zit on my ass...food in my teeth?
With porn, it's just you, and you're perfectly relaxed. No expectations but 'FUN'.
With someone else, it's more like:
How is my breath? Does he think I'm too fat? How clean are my sheets? Does he like me, or just using me for sex? What if he spends the night? What will I fix for breakfast? Did I clean the bathroom? What if my Mom calls? What if it hurts? What if I fart? Will he laugh at my decorating? What if the condom breaks? OMG that tickles! I have to pee! He wants to do WHAT? I wonder how many guys he's been with? I should have clipped my toe nails. Did I clean the litter box? Do I still have that zit on my ass? Do I have food in my teeth?
telstra, his rimming fetish would turn me off
With porn, it's just you, and you're perfectly relaxed. No expectations but 'FUN'.
With someone else, it's more like:
How is my breath? Does he think I'm too fat? How clean are my sheets? Does he like me, or just using me for sex? What if he spends the night? What will I fix for breakfast? Did I clean the bathroom? What if my Mom calls? What if it hurts? What if I fart? Will he laugh at my decorating? What if the condom breaks? OMG that tickles! I have to pee! He wants to do WHAT? I wonder how many guys he's been with? I should have clipped my toe nails. Did I clean the litter box? Do I still have that zit on my ass? Do I have food in my teeth?
