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    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

I Can't Take Much More (Relationship, HELP!!)

I'm just scared; I'm anxious, my heart's always pounding out of my chest, and I'm just so worried about what might happen, I'm a wreck...

I'm gonna see if I can find someone to talk to professionally, although most of these places cost money I don't have....

Wish me luck guys...
 
You have your own place, right? So at least that part's handled.

Do cut away. The sooner the better. If you need a support network, we're here for you. If you have a doctor, ask if s/he can suggest some low-cost therapists.

Time to take care of YOU for a change.

Lex
 
If you have your own place....make sure that you cut contact because an abuser will make all kinds of effort to heap guilt upon you. They want to be in control -- both of their life and yours.

Just remember that you are living for YOU...not someone else. You are first in your life and that is the only one that you are responsible for.

If there is a gay men's clinic in your area, many times they have comp consultations for domestic violence/abusive relationship cases.
 
I'll look into that; I'm not sure if any things like that exist here. This town is old-fashioned... but I'm going to try and talk to someone really soon..
 
breatheH20 said:
Thank you everyone for your words. I've definitely taken it all in and started thinking very deeply about it.

I can say that some of those things a previous poster mentioned have happened. He's starting to dress me, pretty much hogs me all to himself and can't stand it when I go out with a friend.

I didn't think I could end up in a relationship like this. I pretty much have cut off contact with most of my friends, and I never get any time alone. He's always around, and yeah, he pretty much has his way with me and everyone else he knows..

It's true, I'm an empath, and I definitely have a habit of hurting myself in the process of trying to be good to another.

I honestly thought I was done with therapy. I had a 8-week session earlier this year just to clear up some issues I had, but I felt relieved and decided I solved the majority of my problems. Then I met him, and I can honestly say I've thought about going back.

Because of this, I really don't want to date someone again. My ex was a hermit and withdrew from me, not visiting, not helping me when I was down. So I left him, ran into this guy, and treats me like this.

I'm not tooting my own horn here, but I think I give the person I'm dating everything they could ask for from a bf. I'm attentive, loving, all those qualities people look for. I'm a good guy, and try not to let my own experiences and traumas interfere with the health of my relationships.

But these two guys have shown me that it's pretty much hopeless to find a guy who can remotely keep it together. And if there are guys out there like that, I'm just not interested anymore.

I'm gonna try and get into some therapy sessions again after this is over, it'll be a while because money is short. After that, I'm done... I'd rather be alone.
Click to expand...

sounds like the guy in Oprah show who is trying to kill his wife, he slowly isolates her from everybody but luckily she runs away and gets help. She got the video tapes as evidences and now that guy is in prison for over 30 years or something.

so my advice is Leave NOW and get help, don't let him know ur mobile number, don't let him know where you are and try to put him in prison.
 
breatheH20 said:
All you guys are making sense of course, but I think I'm in too deep for logic to hold any strength against emotion right now.
Click to expand...


Why are you doing asking for advice then? It seems you have no intention of acting on any of it because you are too deep. :rolleyes:

You are your boyfriend are a recipe for disaster. I wish you good luck.
 
Sadly, you are an enabler to the classic abusive boyfriend scenario. You see it in the movies all the time and you hear it in the papers with the heterosexuals. The soft, apologetic woman is strangled, shot, stabbed, or beaten to death by her psychotic boyfriend/husband. The history was a long one of black eyes, bruised limbs, and 9-1-1 calls. But she always said, "He's just misunderstood. He loves me. I can help him. He needs me."

He choked you. The moment a human being maliciously cuts off the air supply of another, it's a threat for survival. Any animal would run away, fight to the death, or call for help. You are a human being. Don't let an animal be smarter than you. NEVER be part of a physically abusive relationship. The moment that first slap, punch, push, violates your body, you leave. You get the hell out of that relationship.

You get the hell out.
 
Tell him to get help.

Get help for yourself as well, it sounds as though you have a number of issues to sort out as well. You're not an empath, you're an enabler.

Get as far away from this guy as you can because he is dangerous.
 
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