I can't take this anymore! :(

[tonyboy]

There are many straight guys that find it satisfying that a gay guy is attracted to them. Makes them feel very special in some odd way.

You buddy is most likely straight. I don't know how true a friend he really is to you, but if he were gay he'd know what to do with you.

May be just likes the thought of a gay guy liking him so much that it strokes his ego.
Couldl be you should just stay a platonic friend with him... haha... I'd pretty much guess that if you found some guy that you became close to (that was gay) and you started spending time with the new friend... well your buddy would be very jealous of you... I'd guess that if he found your attractions were directed to another guy you'd soon find out if he wanted to still maintain your friendship.

I wish you well man..

 

[Lube]

Relax, you're driving yourself crazy!

I know you want closure on this ASAP, but he's gonna need time.

So don't push the issue right now. Don't verbalize it. Just be the good friend that you always are. Don't concentrate on what he says (he probably won't say much about the subject); concentrate on what he does.

But it's all not going to resolve itself in a day. You're way too hyper and impatient.

My guess is, over time, he will gradually show more and more attraction to you--or pull away completely. Only time will tell.

 

[catee222]

Relax, you're driving yourself crazy!

I know you want closure on this ASAP, but he's gonna need time.

So don't push the issue right now. Don't verbalize it. Just be the good friend that you always are. Don't concentrate on what he says (he probably won't say much about the subject); concentrate on what he does.

But it's all not going to resolve itself in a day. You're way too hyper and impatient.

My guess is, over time, he will gradually show more and more attraction to you--or pull away completely. Only time will tell.

I think the latter is more likely the case considering he told me he's straight; I don't see what would get him to change his mind at this point.

 

[Lube]

I think the latter is more likely the case considering he told me he's straight; I don't see what would get him to change his mind at this point.

Ha ha. OK, let's get something straight: people don't generally change their sexual orientation, right? What people change is their self-perception or self-reporting of their sexual orientation.

Think about that.

Most people assume they're straight, because that's the societal norm. Just like most people assume they/you are right-handed until shown otherwise. It's no biggie; it's just common sense.

So everyone reports "straight" initially. No one thinks they're different (or at least most don't). Most people don't want to be different.

Anyway, there's so much negativity associated with homosexuality that most people would prefer to be straight (at least initially). We think our attractions to other men are deviant or temporary or "just wanting a nice body like his" (yeah, yeah!). It takes a while (sometimes years or decades) for us to accept the fact that we're gay.

I mean, did you realize you were gay the first time you masturbated? Probably not. It took you months or years to come to that conclusion.

Some people accept it much faster than others. (Me? I was a very slow learner!)

Some people never accept it and run to their religion to save them and become hyper-conservative/traditional. That's a risk. That's something that may happen to your friend.

Or, he may, over time, accept himself for what he is.

So the fact that, today, he says he's straight, doesn't mean much. In the long term.

 

[catee222]

^
I guess time will tell.

Update- We hung out a couple of times with mutual friends and talked/joked around like we usually do, so it looks like it's not going to bother him much as long as I don't make a move on him.

But he went away for a couple of days with some friends of ours (including the girl he likes atm that doesn't want to be beyond friends with him) so I'm not going to be talking to him and I'm already feeling depressed . Is this normal?

 

[hotb0d]

you know what I learned about crushes and how to get over them? The more you try to forget them, the more they are just dancing in your face and just teasing you. One crush in particular....I was literally stalking him on facebook. I wanted to know what he did, who he messaged, what he 'liked', etc....It was pathetic on my part to say the least. Not to mention, I waited for him to call/text me 24/7. Hell sometimes I even "accidentally" texted him so I would get a reply back from him. I also came to the point where it was too much for me and I did tell him my feelings. They of course were shot down. I was brooding for like a week or so. To be honest, I still have some feelings for him and this happened more than 6 months ago.

What I did to ease myself was to satisfy my feelings. I stared at his pictures until I was bored of his face. Then I started nitpicking all his imperfections and what annoyed me about him. And I don't know...I just made fun of myself, how foolish I was to like a guy. I just gradually distanced myself. Not saying that I ended our friendship, I just stopped initiating a conversation.

I don't know if what I did will work in your situation. I believe you should find a way to let him go gradually. No point to dwell on a person that will disappoint you. Life is amazing, you will find a new crush.

 

[catee222]

Hey, I just thought I would give you guys an update, but I'm warning you now you'll probably be disappointed (or maybe happy)--

So I've been getting to know this girl (like I said, you must be disappointed now, but after all, I consider myself bi ) who I met through a friend and we've been hitting it off. We've been talking constantly, finally went out for dinner a few nights ago, had a good time, and are planning to go out again sometime soon when we're both not busy. As I'm getting to know her better, I'm starting to like her little by little, but in the back of my mind however, I still want to hook up with my male best friend (who I've been talking about on this forum the past few months, you can get more info about his background in older posts) even though I know it's a lost cause. He's been EXTREMELY supportive of me getting to know this girl, most likely because he wants me to stop liking and being hung up on him, not to mention I turned down a different girl who liked me over the summer when I still had hope that I could get with him.

Right now, because my feelings for him are still lingering, I'm afraid of hurting her and telling her the truth because she's such a sweet girl, but I am hoping that as I spend more time with her and less time with him, I will stop seeing him as more than a friend. I've already placed the ball in his court by even telling him I liked him, even telling him once when I was drunk that the door's open if he's ever curious, and he flat out said no, he's got no interest whatsoever in doing anything with a guy and finds it disgusting. So there ya go!

 

[rareboy]

I'm afraid of hurting her and telling her the truth because she's such a sweet girl,

No. You're afraid that she'll dump your ass.

You're doing more harm and hurting her more by hiding this than be being honest.

Sac up and tell her.

 

[Lube]

Hey, I just thought I would give you guys an update, but I'm warning you now you'll probably be disappointed (or maybe happy)--

So I've been getting to know this girl (like I said, you must be disappointed now, but after all, I consider myself bi ) who I met through a friend and we've been hitting it off. ... As I'm getting to know her better, I'm starting to like her little by little, but in the back of my mind however, I still want to hook up with my male best friend

Right now, because my feelings for him are still lingering, I'm afraid of hurting her and telling her the truth because she's such a sweet girl, but I am hoping that as I spend more time with her and less time with him, I will stop seeing him as more than a friend.

As Rareboy implied, you are using her.

You are so not in love with her.

Which totally makes me question your bi status.

Continue your fantasy, but I doubt you're fooling anyone other than yourself. Sorry.