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I can't tell if the guy I like is gay!
- Thread starter lucius
- Start date
sorry for the double, but It's not that simple, coming out.
If I come out to him and he isn't gay, it'll ruin our friendship. I don't want to loose him as a friend, because that's all I have with him right now.
Also, has anyone had this happen to him/her before? I'm pretty sure that I need experience from someone who's had this happen to them before. Especially with a guy that's straight-acting, you know.
Maybe someone could post experiences? Heh, sharing is caring, right?
But anyway, he also has a habit, which I love. He'll come into a room where I'm sitting and he'll sit right next to me....so close!!! Even though there's other furniture, he sits next to me. But sometimes he doesn't do this. It's mixed messages!!!
But when he does, he ussually turns to me, with his gorgeous face right in front of me with his cute little braided goat-tee and ask, "what're you doing" with the cutest smile!
I just melt inside and say something stupid like reading, instead of soemthing smart like, "looking into you're big beautiful eyes"
if only i could think on my feet like that......
If I come out to him and he isn't gay, it'll ruin our friendship. I don't want to loose him as a friend, because that's all I have with him right now.
Also, has anyone had this happen to him/her before? I'm pretty sure that I need experience from someone who's had this happen to them before. Especially with a guy that's straight-acting, you know.
Maybe someone could post experiences? Heh, sharing is caring, right?
But anyway, he also has a habit, which I love. He'll come into a room where I'm sitting and he'll sit right next to me....so close!!! Even though there's other furniture, he sits next to me. But sometimes he doesn't do this. It's mixed messages!!!
But when he does, he ussually turns to me, with his gorgeous face right in front of me with his cute little braided goat-tee and ask, "what're you doing" with the cutest smile!
I just melt inside and say something stupid like reading, instead of soemthing smart like, "looking into you're big beautiful eyes"
if only i could think on my feet like that......
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
>>>I just melt inside and say something stupid like reading, instead of soemthing smart like, "looking into you're big beautiful eyes"
In this case, "reading" is a MUCH smarter answer than "looking into your big beautiful eyes".
A smarter one? "Wondering what YOU'RE thinking."
But if you're not going to see him for another, oh, eight months, I'd definitely not spend those eight months working on a plan to "push him forward". You're in Chicago, for God's sake. That means there's - what - fifty thousand homosexuals floating around that are a bit closer at hand? And yes, maybe none of them can compare to this idealized image you have of your friend. But that's all it is - an image. You still don't know if he's gay for sure, or if he's interested in you for sure. Don't take yourself out of the game on the odds that MAYBE something possibly will happen eventually sometime down the road.
Lex
In this case, "reading" is a MUCH smarter answer than "looking into your big beautiful eyes".
A smarter one? "Wondering what YOU'RE thinking."
But if you're not going to see him for another, oh, eight months, I'd definitely not spend those eight months working on a plan to "push him forward". You're in Chicago, for God's sake. That means there's - what - fifty thousand homosexuals floating around that are a bit closer at hand? And yes, maybe none of them can compare to this idealized image you have of your friend. But that's all it is - an image. You still don't know if he's gay for sure, or if he's interested in you for sure. Don't take yourself out of the game on the odds that MAYBE something possibly will happen eventually sometime down the road.
Lex
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
I already counted you. In fact, I may have counted you twice. 
Lex
Lex
no, i won't even think about another guy until i know he isn't interested. he's the one for me, i can feel it.
i love him with every cell in my body. if he and i aren't meant to be, then I'm not sure i can live.
i've only fallen in love twice. each time was when i was living in Amsterdam and with him being near me. i don't know why i'm like that, but i haven't ever fallen for another guy. he's was the first and the second and i'll love him forever and be alone for the rest of my life if he doesn't love me.
i'm sick with love of him. i wish i could make it go away, but i can't. love is a curse from God, I wish I couldn't feel, but i can. i want to take my feelings and throw them away!
i went to a dance club with my friends, i couldn't dance with them because all i could think about was wanting to be with him. i sat around at the bar the whole time while my friends danced and had fun. i drank myself drunk that night and cried into my drinks when i got home.
i'm a mess.
i love him with every cell in my body. if he and i aren't meant to be, then I'm not sure i can live.
i've only fallen in love twice. each time was when i was living in Amsterdam and with him being near me. i don't know why i'm like that, but i haven't ever fallen for another guy. he's was the first and the second and i'll love him forever and be alone for the rest of my life if he doesn't love me.
i'm sick with love of him. i wish i could make it go away, but i can't. love is a curse from God, I wish I couldn't feel, but i can. i want to take my feelings and throw them away!
i went to a dance club with my friends, i couldn't dance with them because all i could think about was wanting to be with him. i sat around at the bar the whole time while my friends danced and had fun. i drank myself drunk that night and cried into my drinks when i got home.
i'm a mess.
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
>>>no, i won't even think about another guy until i know he isn't interested. he's the one for me, i can feel it.
Oh, for the love of God.
For starters, you're TWENTY. And secondly, there is no "one" for you. Or for anyone. That's a load of crap that sells romance novels but has no place in the real world. There is , in fact, a large number of guys with whom you can have anything from a good to a fantastic relationship. This guy might be one of them, or he might not. But even if he is, there ARE others, no matter how unromantic it might be to say.
If you want to hang yourself on the martyr fence for a guy without having the guts to come out to him and finding out if he feels the same, that's your own business. But that's a crap way to live your life. And don't give me any BS about "not having a choice". You do.
Lex
Oh, for the love of God.
For starters, you're TWENTY. And secondly, there is no "one" for you. Or for anyone. That's a load of crap that sells romance novels but has no place in the real world. There is , in fact, a large number of guys with whom you can have anything from a good to a fantastic relationship. This guy might be one of them, or he might not. But even if he is, there ARE others, no matter how unromantic it might be to say.
If you want to hang yourself on the martyr fence for a guy without having the guts to come out to him and finding out if he feels the same, that's your own business. But that's a crap way to live your life. And don't give me any BS about "not having a choice". You do.
Lex
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
Good. Good luck with it. 
Lex
Lex
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
From what you've said, the signs are promising. But we're getting the information filtered through you. So it's tough to say.
Lex
Lex
You are definitely in that stage of.. infatuation!
You say you guys are friends, so yeah just be honest to him, tell him you're gay. But don't tell him you like him ok?
This happened to me before, you know, all that hinting and the infatuation(silly stuff), then with the help of jub and some people (sun), I just told him I was gay, and guess what, he told me he was bi. But he's really confused. Now he's straight. We're still friends now. But now I just laugh when I think about that whole thing.. It was so silly. It was just infatuation. But now I'm better, and happier
You say you guys are friends, so yeah just be honest to him, tell him you're gay. But don't tell him you like him ok?
This happened to me before, you know, all that hinting and the infatuation(silly stuff), then with the help of jub and some people (sun), I just told him I was gay, and guess what, he told me he was bi. But he's really confused. Now he's straight. We're still friends now. But now I just laugh when I think about that whole thing.. It was so silly. It was just infatuation. But now I'm better, and happier
ahh!
he changed orientation?!?! I can't come out, not if he won't love me! or at least be gay.
i am infatuated, but it isn't my fault...i wish i didn't have these feelings, but what can i do? is it wrong for me to want someone so badly if I can't help it. he makes me feel like i've never felt before. i love him more than anything in the world.
he changed orientation?!?! I can't come out, not if he won't love me! or at least be gay.
i am infatuated, but it isn't my fault...i wish i didn't have these feelings, but what can i do? is it wrong for me to want someone so badly if I can't help it. he makes me feel like i've never felt before. i love him more than anything in the world.
Hey Lucius,
This may just be me, but if he's as gorgeous as you say he is, and has reached the age of 22 without ever having had a girlfriend, then I would be slightly suspicious. It may be just that he's had girlfriends that you've not known about, but I personally don't know any very good-looking straight men in their twenties who've never even dated a woman.
Also, does the topic of women ever come up when you're talking with him? Does he seem very 'into it' when he talks about women?
This may just be me, but if he's as gorgeous as you say he is, and has reached the age of 22 without ever having had a girlfriend, then I would be slightly suspicious. It may be just that he's had girlfriends that you've not known about, but I personally don't know any very good-looking straight men in their twenties who've never even dated a woman.
Also, does the topic of women ever come up when you're talking with him? Does he seem very 'into it' when he talks about women?
nope. he might point out a woman, but in the 4 months I was in the Netherlands I think he only did it twice.
and as far as him not having g/f's, i'm pretty positive he hasn't. and me and his sister miranda were talking about sex one time, and he was like, "you two are perverted" and it was straight sex, just rolling innuendo here and there and laughing about it. this is weird to me. he seems to have a sexual innocence about him, but it's naive.
also, one of the things that makes me wonder about him is his friendships with men. as far as I know he has only guy friends, but that is supposed to denote straightness. after all, i'm gay and I only really have women friends. a few guy friends, but mostly women....
he does, however, mirror my behavior. he's quiet, and seemingly a little depressed. that's the norm and majority of his attitude. then somedays he's happy and he shows it. when he isn't quiet and emo, I can almost feel like he wants to tough me, very closely.
this one time, we went to the track to run, he beat me for the first time. we went to the stands to get some water and I felt that from the way he was standing next to me, being very close he either wanted to hug me or put his arm around me.
but that could also mean being straight. most straight European men don't care about about proximity, unless it is with a gay man. i'm pretty sure he might suspect I like him and am gay, but i'm uncertain.
there are too many variables for me to consider and I can't figure him out. i just can't wait to see him again...then I'll finally sort everything out.
and as far as him not having g/f's, i'm pretty positive he hasn't. and me and his sister miranda were talking about sex one time, and he was like, "you two are perverted" and it was straight sex, just rolling innuendo here and there and laughing about it. this is weird to me. he seems to have a sexual innocence about him, but it's naive.
also, one of the things that makes me wonder about him is his friendships with men. as far as I know he has only guy friends, but that is supposed to denote straightness. after all, i'm gay and I only really have women friends. a few guy friends, but mostly women....
he does, however, mirror my behavior. he's quiet, and seemingly a little depressed. that's the norm and majority of his attitude. then somedays he's happy and he shows it. when he isn't quiet and emo, I can almost feel like he wants to tough me, very closely.
this one time, we went to the track to run, he beat me for the first time. we went to the stands to get some water and I felt that from the way he was standing next to me, being very close he either wanted to hug me or put his arm around me.
but that could also mean being straight. most straight European men don't care about about proximity, unless it is with a gay man. i'm pretty sure he might suspect I like him and am gay, but i'm uncertain.
there are too many variables for me to consider and I can't figure him out. i just can't wait to see him again...then I'll finally sort everything out.
attallaborn
Slut
let me ask you some questions in order answer your questions. Are you attractive, if so, how attractive? come on be honest. 2nd, do you act femm, straight or in between? After answering these questions, i will answer your questions.
Honestly, I don't know why you post and ask us questions about him when you're the one that knows him. LOL.
And really, if he was a true friend I think he'd accept that you have an infatuation with him and not let it affect the friendship. And if he does react kinda negatively, who knows how bad things could've gone in your relationship with him if it did happen.
And really, if he was a true friend I think he'd accept that you have an infatuation with him and not let it affect the friendship. And if he does react kinda negatively, who knows how bad things could've gone in your relationship with him if it did happen.
huhu123
Virgin
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Dude, this is fantastic.
I normally don't even post here, but the situation is so similar to mine that I couldn't avoid it.
There's this guy where I live, who's becoming a great friend, and lots of times I don't know if i'm getting interest signs or if it is just "whishfull thinking" from me...
It kills me
Sorry that I can't help you...the only solution I've thought so far is coming out, but since I'm still fully closetted, it won't be that easy...
Good luck for you
(sorry for the english, it's been quite sometime since I last wrote in it)
Edit: Oh my, now that I read the rest of the topic, is even more similar! He's also from a conservative family, and sometimes I feel he want to get "touchy" with me and things...I also think that he might know that I'm gay and interested, but we have only gotten closer and closer these times...
I normally don't even post here, but the situation is so similar to mine that I couldn't avoid it.
There's this guy where I live, who's becoming a great friend, and lots of times I don't know if i'm getting interest signs or if it is just "whishfull thinking" from me...
It kills me
Sorry that I can't help you...the only solution I've thought so far is coming out, but since I'm still fully closetted, it won't be that easy...
Good luck for you
(sorry for the english, it's been quite sometime since I last wrote in it)
Edit: Oh my, now that I read the rest of the topic, is even more similar! He's also from a conservative family, and sometimes I feel he want to get "touchy" with me and things...I also think that he might know that I'm gay and interested, but we have only gotten closer and closer these times...