I chickened out

[MMMonsterBoy]

Tonight my mother asked me 'Are you gay? When are you going to get a girlfriend?' Well I just laughed it off, which in itself is telling. Nonetheless it is not a confirmation. There used to be a time where I never wanted my mom to know that I am gay. Once I came out to my friends, all of my guilt washed away. After coming out to my big sister, I am just ready to come out to my mother. Today was perfect, but I just couldn't. It eats me up knowing that she will be devestated. My mom is one of those 'gays are unnatural they go against the lord' people. I just don't know how to admit to her. I mean I hate lying....so I don't want to deny it anymore. Any advice?

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

Well I did it queens, I came out to my mother. I can't believe it. A huge weight is gone.

Bad News: She thinks because I am young it is just a phase. She sugguested I try it with a girl, but I explained to her it isn't that easy. She told me she doesn't approve and doesn't want to ever see me with a guy. She said it was a choice and unnatural

Good news: She promised to love me and allow acceptance. She admitted that
there is nothing I could do about it. She was far more supportive than I imagined, but she still needs time. So in time....

I quoted a lot of Buffy tonight, and Gaga haha

 

[bankside]

Good grief. She's behaving badly and your patience with her is a gift.

Congratulations though - huge weight is gone and I know that feeling.

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

Thank you

My patience with her is completly gone. I was sympathetic towards her last night, but she's really getting on me today. She's said more ignorant comments to me than anyone ever has. She's saying allnthe cliches "maybe if you had a father figure" and "anal sex is gross" [that's all gays do apparently]. She said that is going to pray for me. She hopes I never ever children and raise them in my type of environment. My mother has certainly awakened emotions I haven't felt since I was 13, but luckily I have friends and a wonderful big sister who all make me feel as though I belong. And I have you guys, who, though different...come in many

 

[IllgetyouHackman]

Okay this is only what I would do...Put her in her place. Just give her an ultimatum, say something along the lines of "I'm gay, it isn't a choice, it is only a small part of who I am, and you've known me my whole life, do you expect me to up and change in front of you?" "If you can't handle that then perhaps you should reevaluate yourself as a christian." I know harsh, but I'm so tired of the guilt enforced by people who should be coming to you with open arms, it sucks

 

[bankside]

Thank you

My patience with her is completly gone. I was sympathetic towards her last night, but she's really getting on me today. She's said more ignorant comments to me than anyone ever has. She's saying allnthe cliches "maybe if you had a father figure" and "anal sex is gross" [that's all gays do apparently]. She said that is going to pray for me. She hopes I never ever children and raise them in my type of environment. My mother has certainly awakened emotions I haven't felt since I was 13, but luckily I have friends and a wonderful big sister who all make me feel as though I belong. And I have you guys, who, though different...come in many

I felt the same way with my mom, and she isn't even really religious, she just thought it was some kind of medical problem or something. I mean it was ridiculous! From the ridiculous and personal questions she asked I'm surprised she didn't try to show me hetero porn and have me prove that I wasn't into chix! LOL.

The one thing that gave me patience with her is even though I knew she should have known better, I was willing to give her as long as it took me from the time I knew to the time I said it out loud. She came around.

 

[andy12]

She sugguested I try it with a girl

What would the Lord, who died for our sins, think of such premarital relations?

 

[backpacker]

She sugguested I try it with a girl,

Apply the same logic to her. Suggest that she try it with a woman. How does she know she isn't gay unless she tries it.

With regard to her attitude in general, I would tell her you don't appreciate her anti-gay comments and she should keep her hurtful comments to herself. If she can't respect you enough not to insult you, then you should avoid her until she can.

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

My mom is hellbent on homosexuality being wrong, and she's convinced I've chosen to be this way. I've tried explaining it, but she's not ready to really listen. She's concerned what my grandfather would say, as if I care, on top of her being ashamed and embarrassed. I've told her to accept all of me, in time, or there is no point in her being in my future. So I guess I'll see where things go. I just hope she comes around in the distant future.

 

[theblackajah]

Drop that bitch like a hot potato.

Parents with religious upbringing that they try to smother you with? There are better people out there to spend your time on love, just forget her and move on.

 

[backpacker]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

My mom is hellbent on homosexuality being wrong, and she's convinced I've chosen to be this way. I've tried explaining it, but she's not ready to really listen. She's concerned what my grandfather would say, as if I care, on top of her being ashamed and embarrassed. I've told her to accept all of me, in time, or there is no point in her being in my future. So I guess I'll see where things go. I just hope she comes around in the distant future.

Good for you! I sure hope your message sinks in.