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I Choked!

S

socalguy20

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ok,this happened like 10min ago,i got home and started telling her about my day with my cousin,and how my cousin jokingly told me "hey,did you hear,you can get married now?" she was reffering to the now legal gay marriiage in california,and my mom looked at me kind of upset,and said why does she keep saying your gay? did you come out to her or something?..my cousin and i always mess around like that,no one knows anything about me except a good friend of mine...but the way my mom sayed what she said scared me,which was strange beacouse she supportes marriages and rights of the gay community,and we have friends of the family that are gay,but mabe it be different if she found out i also like guys?...couse i always talk about girls and what i like about them,which is true beacouse i enjoy both sex's,but mabe it be too much if she were to find out i secretly enjoy the male anatomy alittle too much? :(
 
If I had to guess, I'd say it's not because she doesn't want you to be gay, or would hate for you to be gay. It's because, well, you always talk about girls. This will probably lead her to assume you're straight. So when she starts hearing a suggestion that you might (also) like guys, that confuses her. Not scares her, not angers her - just confuses her. "I thought he liked girls." If she's been supportive of gays in general, my guess is she'll be supportive of you. But she's gotta know before she can be supportive. :)

Lex
 
I choke about this issue on a daily basis. Coming from a semi-conservative family, which has just gotten used to the fact that one of my cousins is gay and had just begun accepting him (fucking asshole beat me to it LOL), I am often terrified of how they would react if I tell them that I like men at times along with women. Probably confuse the hell out of them lol.

Being gay is more visible than bisexuality it seems and I dont know how to explain how i feel about sexuality to them. Shades of gray are always the most perplexing dilemmas and i think this is the same case.

Half of my family seems to think (including the gay one) that bisexuality is just the preliminary stage to becoming all out gay. More perplexing for me is how half of them do not believe that bisexuality is biological, rather more of a mental disorder.

In a sense i feel your bind and really can empathize with you. My current thought on this matter is not to just say anything but rather just show them when the situation arises....
 
accorn said:
Half of my family seems to think (including the gay one) that bisexuality is just the preliminary stage to becoming all out gay.
Click to expand...

That's because in the vast majority of cases that's true. So many younger gay people these days seem to want to cling to the "bisexual" label for whatever reason. Then once they finally admit it to themselves, they admit they are homosexual. I never quite understood that. I guess for many they feel that "only" being partially gay isn't as bad as being all gay.

For the most part, if I hear a closeted person say they are bisexual, I dismiss it out of hand that they are gay but just can't accept themselves yet.
 
>>>That's because in the vast majority of cases that's true.

Call BS on this one.

Yes, there are those who admit to "biesexuality" in order to ease into being comfortable being gay. Call it the Elton John path. :) But it's not true of the "vast majority" of those who claim bisexuality. I know far too many out-and-proud bisexuals (over the age of 25) to believe that one.

Lex
 
If they are "out-and-proud bisexuals (over the age of 25)" then I usually believe them as well. I was speaking to closeted ones, or those in the late teens / early twenties claiming that. In fact in the past 10 years of those that have been young, and claimed bisexuality that I have known, and we are talking dozens, only 1 of them now is really a bisexual. The rest all eventually admitted they were gay.
 
Sounds to me like your mom already "knows" and she is waiting for you to be honest with yourself and her. Tell her.
 
There are a lot of bonafide bisexuals. And there are a lot of gays for whom bisexuality is the kiddie pool until they're ready for the big pool.

No matter what you end up calling yourself, it's a lot less stressful when you're honest with everyone else. It helps get rid of all these awkward "Do they know?" moments.
 
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