I did an experiment on myself to confirm what sociologists have been saying for years

[Dominus]

So, I've been wanting to jump off a bridge or hang myself lately. Then I remember what impoverished people do to take away the pain.

I installed an app called viki. It's the Netflix equivalent for Asian shows and movies. I found a gay mini series drama. Before every episode, I closed my eyes and took notes of the pain level I'm in. After every episode, I did the same. Looking back at the results. After every episode the pain is subsided a little bit. By episode 7, I was fantasizing myself as one of the characters.

It really works. Watching TV shows and other forms of entertainment really does take the pain away, even if its temporary.

Just FYI for those who's looking for an alternate way out like me.

I might try drug and alcohol next. My bf is a big weed smoker. One of these days I'll ask him to show me how to do it.

 

[rareboy]

If you are ideating suicide, then you need to seek out some counselling. ASAP. Seriously. A television app isn't going to help with this.

 

[LoveMyPeppermill]

TV and other forms of entertainment particularly help when (as you're doing) one uses them intentionally to feel better. A really involving book is probably the best medicine of this kind.

Okay, maybe try the weed. Please please please do not try getting drunk to make yourself feel better. (Let alone drugs like heroin.) I think we have quite a few Jubbers here who could talk to you about the dangers of medicating yourself with alcohol.

Among other things, get too far along in medicating yourself with alcohol (and that's all too easy to do) and you're likely to wind up screwing over your boyfriend and your tenants, and I sense that dealing with them honestly and not screwing them over is something you pride yourself on.

And -- as many recovering alcoholics (and their loved ones) can tell you -- doing things you've prided yourself on not doing will make you feel much, much worse.

 

[Dominus]

If you are ideating suicide, then you need to seek out some counselling. ASAP. Seriously. A television app isn't going to help with this.

Don't worry. I am cursed with a very logical, mathematical mind. I experience mental pain in a very practical way. If that makes any sense. While I am being overwhelmed with suicidal thoughts, I am able to compartmentalize it from reality. In other words, you have nothing to worry about. Thank you for your concern. That really warms my heart.

 

[metta]

I'm glad that you have not taken bad steps. Please know that the stress you are going through now is temporary. And as far as I know for sure, we only have one opportunity to experience life.

You can always call 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline


TBH, I have previously experienced a deep depression before in dealing with the loss of my best friend. It was strange: the only music I could stand to listen to at the time was classical music.

I hope you find a way out of it. Take it moment by moment. Keep working out and doing cardio. More endorphins might be helpful.

Wishing you contentment and happiness,
metta

 

[Dominus]

I'm glad that you have not taken bad steps. Please know that the stress you are going through now is temporary. And as far as I know for sure, we only have one opportunity to experience life.

You can always call 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline


TBH, I have previously experienced a deep depression before in dealing with the loss of my best friend. It was strange: the only music I could stand to listen to at the time was classical music.

I hope you find a way out of it. Take it moment by moment. Keep working out and doing cardio. More endorphins might be helpful.

Wishing you contentment and happiness,
metta

Ya. I'm at the gym now. Trying to work it out of my system. After the gym I got a bathroom renovation to do by myself.

 

[Rickrock]

I also care about you. Keep in mind that calling the suicide line is a possible alternative.

 

[unloadonme]

https://forums.justusboys.com/threads/if-youre-being-bullied-or-suicidal-please-read.321448/

 

[rareboy]

I would say that ideating suicide and depression is nothing to be nonchalant about.

It is something that people think they can deal with as an abstract, until they can't.

For anyone experiencing these issues, please reach out and talk to your primary health care provider or to other counsellors including the help lines mentioned here.