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neruda

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I went over to the University LGTB thing
I met a whole bunch of really fairy kinds - too loud and silly
Is it just me - or doe the overly camp kind put off other gay guys as well?

Frankly, I don't seem to want to be one of "those" and can totally understand why the straight kind laughs at us

And Im NOT generally a very arrogant person....:mad:
 
Mind if I ask you what university?

I was in charge of my school's LGBT organization last semester and I felt there was a pretty diverse group of people there, so hopefully it'll change from campus to campus and semester to semester.

Speaking from my personal experience, the best meeting to go to solely to meet guys to date is the fall semester's first meeting. Thats when all the gays come out of the woodwork for the exact same reason. Very few stick around after that.
 
Why is that going to be relevant?

I mean are you going to say the the place Im at, is not typical?

My issue is that I was balked with the way a bunch of folks I met behaved.

I didnt want to seem liek one of that crowd

Im just desparately hoping that this isnt the case elsewhere....

To answer your question, its the University of Hawaii at Manoa.
 
A similar thing happened when I went to a Chinese Students meeting. They were all christians, and I thought to myself, oh no.... I never attended another one of those again.

Not liking something because you don't fit in, is natural. Perhaps most of the camp is an act to kinda 'fit in'. If you're not that kind, just be yourself and show them that you can be gay and non-camp too. Perhaps if there were more of you non-camps there, the LGTB wouldn't look so queeny. Or if you can get more than 30 people I think it is, you can form your own union and call it the Straight Acting Gays Association or SAGA, which happens to sound like a group of old folks going on holiday.
 
They don't put me off, and I'm not ashamed of being associate with people who act that way, because I don't appreciate 'straight people laughing' at others because of that. Those kinds of straight people probably aren't nice people or people with the moral fiber that I'd expect when hanging out with good friends.

Live and let live. Why would you let a bunch of assholes who would make fun of people you don't even know and who they don't even know bring you down or worry you? Why do you even care what they think?

No, not all places are like that, and if you look around, you'll find that there are other LGBTs that aren't like that. If they're anything like you, they probably went once and disliked being associated with loud flamboyant gays and never went back. Now you just have to find each other on your own.

I just don't think that siding with the kindof mentality that flamboyant gays are an embarassment and rationalize the hatred towards LGBTs by ignroant straight people is a good thing at all.
 
Its pretty different, you'll meet a lot of different people not just one type of gay men.
 
Oh I was just curious about the university is all. Your school might or might not be relevant in the people it attracts, I don't know. Like if you were to say Vassar, a friend of mine who went there said the entire time she was there she met one straight male.

All I know is that my school has a reputation for having a lot of lesbians. I always kind of figured it was exaggerated until a group of people that pretty much between all of them knew most of the LGBT people that were going to my school and that there was a ratio of 90 men to 212 women. That figure was created last year and I from my experience running the organization this semester, I can say with fair certainty that the ratio was maintained.

All I'm saying is you know, give it a shot next semester to see if you meet anyone you like. Obviously don't change how you act to fit in, but also try not to look down on others for being who they are.
 
everyone is the way he is.i dont feel ashamed cos of guys who are like this.
i'd rather say i dont like gay guys who wanna pretend they are straight.
 
Im beginning to understand.

I guess being a somewhat quiet person, I would have gotten rebuffed anywhere with a bunch of overly loud people.That they were "my kind" sort of got me upset about myself I guess.

Never mind.

And oh - I thought Id re-emphsize that this ISNT typical of my University.
Also lest anyone thinks Im an arrogant macho fathead, Id like to correct that by adding Im pretty much an ordinary guy.

Im upset that I cant seem to like the usual gay hangouts - bars, LGTB groups and chat sites (:rolleyes:)

Where should I be looking to see more folks of "my kind"?
 
well, you certainly have your arrogance on high at this point. the fairies as you call them were the front line fighters in the gay lib days (which still go on), since they had no prescribed 'masculine' persona to adopt. if you're turned off by them, stay away. they won't miss you.
ding
 
Well, we are as varied a group as the straights. There are gays out there like you. Where they are in your area isn't something I can tell you. As to these guys that aren't your type, I'd say get to know some anyway and they might be able to point you in the direction of people more your type.

I used to feel the same way about "fairies". But now I can appreciate that they are just being themselves and applaud them for that. Does it hurt our image? I don't know.... maybe, maybe not.

This guy I've seen a couple of times continually asks me if I'm sure I'm gay. HAHA. I don't like to cook or clean or any of the stereotypical gay stuff. I like my sports and being outdoors and active and trying new things. Yet I've found guys that are more "manly" than I am that are gay. So it is a spectrum. The more you meet, the more I think you'll realize this.

As to bars... I've found that there are gay bars that I don't like and those that I do.... again, they're each different. And they are different in different cities. Don't worry too much, you'll find a place you fit in eventually.
 
Barring Hermanding's observation that I called the folks I met "fairies: - I guess I agree with you all in general.

Need to get off my high horse.

*Dismounts* --- trots off ... to ruminate further.

Thanks guys.
 
i do stand corrected. the quote was - i met a whole bunch of fairy kinds.
i hope very much that you find something good in them and that the people who are gays are all over every kind of spectrum
ding
 
I've had the same experience at my university.

2 years ago they plastered posters all over campus for "HOMOCOMING!" with guys dressed up in leopard print (call of the wild)....

I'm sure there are guys in it that aren't the flamboyant type...and its nothing against them, but that's just not my style.
 
it wouldnt be my style either, but you also mentioned that they were "all" like that and you didnt see any other "type" of gay guy. one of the phrases i like to live by is "the world is what you make of it" so what would i do? i would still join their group, and attend, and by doing so you begin to increase the population of the kind of guy you are in to...starting with yourself. im sure there have been other guys that thought what you do, and not attended,,,but if they see you there, then they might have a reason to stay, and you might just be happy you did that. good luck..|
 
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