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I don't know what to do any more...

S

swarley

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Just to prepare you, this is a rant and I don't know if anybody can help me or not but I feel like I need to get this off of my chest.

I just had a guy offer to meet me at his place, which I did, get me drunk and then have his friend tell me that I had to go home, so I had to drive home drunk for the past 2 hours. So the question that is in my head right now is are there seriously any decent, normal people out there? In the past 3 months, i've been raped, I had a boyfriend actually make fun of me because I came out within the last year instead of at the age of 15 like he did, i've had a guy tell me he loved me after the second date, i've had a guy get me drunk and then bareback me (i never would have if I was actually sober), i actually found somebody I like only to have them move far away, i've had a guy who was in a relationship for the first time and decided he wasn't ready, and i've dated a guy who I got attached to only to decide he was straight. At what point do you quit trying? Because I think i'm just about there. I almost wish I was straight just because i'm sure a girl wouldn't hurt me this much. I know that's impossible because it just isn't the way my brain works, but I still feel this way and it's making me miserable. I've tried online dating, i've tried getting set up by friends... nothing works. I almost think it's me but then I look at how big of a d-bag all of those guys have been and it just couldn't be me. I guess i'm ranting on here because i have no gay friends and i have no idea where to find them either... So far it seems like every gay guy in St. Paul, MN is a d-bag. I almost feel like moving just to see if there is a place where there are nicer gay guys lol. I know it's ridiculous, but that is how beaten down I am...

Well, thanks for sticking with my long rant. I still don't feel that much better but maybe in a while a will feel a little better. I hope, because i've never felt this sad in my entire life.
 
I know how you feel - every guy I've dated has been a lowlife in one way or another. And like you I sometimes think it is hopeless trying to find a decent guy and somebody who will appreciate me, but at the same time, I don't want to tar everybody with the same brush. The only way we're going to find that seemingly needle in the haystack is to keep looking. If we stop looking, we'll never find that beautiful thing we're looking for. It also means the horrible guys we've had will have beaten us, and I think it's important in life to be strong and try your utmost not to be beaten by anything or anybody.

Keep the faith! There are nice guys out there. We're nice guys and we're out there ;) Also, as an analogy to some people's rationale in favour of aliens: if there aren't any out there (good guys in this case), it seems like an awful waste of space! :D

Be strong dude!
(*8*)
 
Try counseling to get a professional perspective and guidance on you, your feelings and your experience?
 
My advice is keep looking, you'll find someone eventually. And maybe stop drinking or drink less when having sex and DON'T drive if drunk especially for 2 hours!
 
You mention twice that other people got you drunk, did they forcefully hold your mouth open and pour alcohol down your throat?? Maybe it is time that you start taking responsibility for your actions.
 
>>>I almost think it's me but then I look at how big of a d-bag all of those guys have been and it just couldn't be me.

As my friend would say, what's the common denominator?

Lex
 
I also have to go with the 'sleep with dogs, expect to wake up with fleas' approach.

If you weren't getting drunk, or even hanging around people who think that being drunk or wasted is a good starting point for sex or relationships, you might be surprised at what is out there.

I'm not saying you have to go to church, but have you ever thought of going to a gay friendly church or joining some gay friendly organization that isn't all about drinking and partying in order to get laid?
 
Lol, first of all, I'm not some raging alcoholic, second of all, i don't get drunk every time I meet a guy, and third of all, with the exception of the last guy, i knew those guys for some time before i had a few drinks around them. But thank you all for jumping to conclusions, for twisting my words, and making me feel even worse (with the exception of jetset, thank you for the kind words). And I love how everybody concentrated on the alcohol instead of the big picture.
And a special thanks goes out to Lex for assuming that i'm as big of a d-bag as the people i've found. Thank you for that insult...

And for the record, before last night, the last time a drop of alcohol has touched my tongue was at least 3 weeks ago...
 
And this is certainly the last time I post something hoping to get sound advice because apparently all you people can do is spew judgements from your ivory towers...
 
The solution to your problem is to take it slow!

You are rushing into sex, dating, and relationships with men you hardly know. Then you get burned when you find out who they really are and what they want.

Slow down. This is also why you don't have any gay friends. Do you feel as if you'd still be friends with some of these guys if you didn't have sex with them? Many times, sex changes interactions with the person you know.
 
hey swarley, there is some guy out there that will b proud to be with u, u just had a bad run lately, if u were in the uk, i'd b ur friend :)
u are totally on the ball with ur "ivory tower" statement, take care, let me know how u get on :)
 
lol maybe i am moving too fast, not necessarily with sex because I usually like to wait, but maybe with relationships in general. I think i'm going to just take a break from dating all together. i've had enough heartache for a while. I think my heart needs a break or else it's going to be permanently broken (which it's close to being anyways). I need to not worry about finding someone and just lick my wounds for a while...
 
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