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I don't know what to do...

Lone-Wolf

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Hey guys, it's been a while since I've posted.
Hope everyone's well.

Sorry I'm not very active. School keeps me busy.
A lot has been going on though and it's to the point where I don't know what I should do.
So I'm here to ask you for your help again.

I'm sorry that this is a really long long post ^^;

So I met a guy in college (let's call him C)
When we first met, he was very nice and talked to me a lot.
We've bumped into each other several times.

Later on, we started to hang out and talk about different things, such as likes and dislikes.
We had a lot in common and my friends suspected him to be gay. I kind of suspected that too.

So we decided to hangout one saturday night with a bunch of our friends.
After that, he and I talked on AIM. We started to flirt and it was kind of obvious that he was interested in me.

The following week, we kept poking each other on facebook. So then he told me that he was going to poke me really hard the next time he sees me...not with his finger.
So then he emphasized what he was going to poke me with. And then we started to talk dirty.

He always called me after he got off work and we always spoke on aim/text/phone calls - everyday. He would always check up on me to see how I'm doing, so it showed that he really cared about me.
We would even text message eachother even though we were across the table.
I've been having a great time with him and then asked him a question that he interpreted as wanting a relationship. Since he brought it up, I did ask him if he wanted one. He said no, because he just came out of a serious relationship so just wanted to have fun.

I was fine with it as long as we continued doing flirting and whatnot.
The next day, I went out with him in between classes.
We talked about him being gay and having around 5 relationships in high school.
He then asked what I was and I told him that I am Bi.
So we figured each other out.

Afterwards, we came back to school. Before we got out of his car, he kissed me and then we made-out.
This is kind of personal, but that was my first kiss.
I've never been in a relationship nor have been affectionate with anyone.

So he knew that that was my first kiss too.
Throughout the day, we snooped around the school and kept making out.
He told me that he didn't know when he would be ready for a relationship but I decided that I will try to wait for him and we could possibly get into a relationship sooner then I would have expected.

But two days later, he seemed kind of distanced. He didn't text me or do anything.
He had to go run an errand so left school. He called my friend and joked that I should go out with her and that we'd make a cute couple.
After hearing that, I got hurt so didn't really want to talk to him.
It was wrong of me to get mad since we aren't in a relationship, but I couldn't help feeling hurt.

After that, we were kind of awkward for a few days. Then we just acted normal and goofed around with our friends.
I asked him what's going to happen with us.
He said that we are just friends.
I asked if we will continue flirting or anything. He said he's not sure because he's got a lot going on right now.
So I thought, ok I will give him some space.

We were alone in the apple computer lab. So out of curiosity, I asked if he would kiss me if I wanted it. He said he didn't know.
About 10 minutes later, I had to leave and he kept looking at me and asking if I had to leave
It seemed like he wanted me to kiss him before I left. So I did kiss him and we made-out.

The following week, we sort of talked about what's going to happen between us. He said everything between us is okay and that he just had somethings to think about.
But he still acted like he was holding back.

This went on for about 3 weeks now?
Everyday he acts differently. One day, he is really caring and then the next day he's all whatever with me.
I really can't make him out.
I kind of gave him the cold shoulder one day and he kept trying to catch my attention.

I really don't know what he wants.
He seems to want to be affectionate and flirty with me but then another day, he doesn't.
Even my friends can tell that he is being "moody" as they called it.

I've tried talking to him to see what's going on. He won't talk to me at all. About anything.
My other friend thinks that he could be acting like this and hiding things from me to not hurt me.
But the way he acts sometimes, it doesn't seem like that.

I think I rambled on for too long.
Basically, I just want us to go back to when we used to flirt and talk to each other.
It felt like a relationship so I didn't mind that he just wanted to have fun with me.
I also know now, that I shouldn't get attached to him. So I have it in mind and heart that I will have fun but he could leave and find someone else.

But these days, I've gotten really tired of the way he's acting.
On friday, we planned on having lunch together on wednesday.
Today, he told me that he's not sure and made up all these excuses about how he has to go to work. So I just ended up rolling my eyes.

I feel like he's playing games with me.
One moment, he pulls away from me, the next moment, he tries to get my attention.
I'm like, what do you want from me?
I try to talk to him but he won't.

I really don't know what to do.
Should be upfront and ask him what's going on?
Should I just move on?
Give him space?
Keep playing hard to get so that he comes to me?

Thank you for reading my loooooooong post
and I appreciate any help/suggestions/tips/criticisms you have. ^^
 
My guess is he keeps finding himself getting deeper in with you than he thought he would, or deeper than he wanted to. He probably felt the kissing thing was perhaps further than he wanted to go. He probably is having an argument between his head and his heart (and/or his crotch). Sometimes the head is winning, and sometimes the heart/crotch is winning.

You are putting a fair chunk of pressure on him. When he finally worked up the nerve to back down from the kissing, you nudged him back into it. You keep asking if you're going to have a relationship. I can understand your zeal to want to move things forward, but if what he says is true, he's got some issues to work out first. I'd pull back, and just be friends for awhile - meaning no kisses, no flirting, no anything sexual. Let him feel comfortable around you again, without any pressure.

Lex
 
I see this less as "mind games" and more as simple indecision - something younger folks seem to have more problems with than older folks.

Lex
 
Thanks for your responses.

Lex:

Actually, he wanted to go further lol
He's wanted to see me naked and wanted to have a nude sleepover

And I've tried to be a friend but he still acts differently then he did before we started to flirt.

but I will take your advice and keep trying to be a friend
 
Well, I can't say I haven't been there. Part of me (the lower half) wanting to rush into it, and the other part (the upper half) wanting to keep things really slow. And it's not like the same half is always in charge. :)

I'd say my advice still stands. Remain friends, cut out the sex, see what happens.

Lex
 
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