I don't like sex.....am I straight now?

[Sunshine]

Alright first off let me say I have NO desire at all to have sex with a woman. I KNOW I'm gay its like 100% positive...


Okay, so...yesterday me and my bestfriends cousin skipped work and decided to stay home and do nothing like all day. Well...we kind of got into the whole gay / straight subject and he was like...asking me how it felt and whats sex with a guy like and I told him I didn't know because I was a virgin. So he laughed and made jokes then went on about how he and his girlfriend have this great sex life so I rolled my eyes and blew it off. Well... he got kind of touchy feely and I thought he was just joking....um...not so much. Well, I kind of ruined everything and gave it up to him. I know I'm seriously going to regret this. But anyways the whole time it was happening I just couldnt get aroused or anything. To me I just felt so gross and I hated it. So he finished and whatever then made up an excuse that his girlfriend called him in the shower and he had to leave so Im like "uhh...okay.." So right after it happened I call my bestfriend and explained to her and she was al lecstatic and screaming on the phone she knew he was gay and she was going to tell her mom...she was actually happy. So whatev. But like....I have no idea where I stand now. I just feel gross. Even porn is gross to me now. Straight or gay...it's just all bad.

wtf?

 

[Sweet20s]

Were you nervous? Maybe he's not hot to you?

 

[Sunshine]

I wasnt too nervous... I mean... he DOES look alot hotter than me, I would probably give him a 8 / 12 out of every gay guy I've ever met. But like....I dunno. He's cute I guess.

 

[IFeel4U]

Well as far as not enjoying sex with another man, you are a perfectly normal gay man. There are men who enjoy anal sex and others that don't. The great thing is if even if you don't enjoy anal sex, there are so many other sexual acts you can perform on or with your partner. Like your experience with being turned off by what happened, when i was in middle school and in high school, I never thought I'd ever have anal sex or anything with a guy. When I first saw gay porn in my junior year of high school I was completly turned off. Whenever they would do a close-up of some dude's open butt or penetration, I'd feel sick to my stomach like I was about to throw up. There isn't anything wrong not wanting to have sex with a guy, you're still gay, but being gay isn't just about "I want to have sex with other men", its about your physical, emotional, and mental attraction and connection towards other men. Its about the ideal person you genuinely care for and love being a man rather than a woman. Your preference, but not liking sex with a guy won't mean you aren't gay. For me I have become comfortable with the idea of sex with another guy, but I still have my reservations about it. In time your opinions and feelings of what you enjoy and don't enjoy may change as well, or it may not. But this is where you are now, and there is nothing your with what your feeling. I hope this helps you.

 

[Sunshine]

You're really amazing. Thanks for that. Well, I've never doubted my gayness and I know being gay isn't all about sex. We both tried anal and I mean, I'm not going to complain I mean I liked it but it was just after I just felt like...really gross. I felt like I was doing something wrong. I dunno. ...

 

[G-Lexington]

If my cutest "straight" friend made a move on me - even assuming I weren't already spoken for - I wouldn't want it to continue. Why? Because I like him as a friend, I've based my relationship with him as a friend, and I'd need time to decide whether or not I'd want this to take place. And after thinking about, I'd still probably say no.

This doesn't make me straight.
Some might say it makes me overly selective.
Some might say it makes me a coward.
Some might say it means I've got serious hang-ups.
But I don't think anybody would say it makes me straight.

I have no idea what your friend's idea was - maybe he thought "Hey, I'm good-looking, he'll probably appreciate this." Or maybe he was just horny and wanted to get his rocks off. Probably the latter. He used you to get off, and now you're stuck with this anti-sex vibe.

You WERE interested in sex beforehand, right?
The idea of having sex with another male was appealing? Not necessarily THIS male, but some other one?
Porn was cool?

Give yourself a bit of time to sort through things. If you're still uninterested in sex in a week or so, I think a trip to a therpaist might be in order. And a rethink of your choice of friends might definitely be in order.

Lex

 

[Sunshine]

Well, we have a pretty open friendship I guess. I've seen him, he's seen me, he'll grab just as a joke, I'll grab as a joke. Just stupid stuff. I let him do that because he's the only guy I trust. We've been friends for about 6 years and I trust him with my life.

Yes, I was interested in sex but definitely not with him and not as much as other guys. I mean, I have alot of things going on in my life I am sad that I don't have anyone but really...it's kind of pushed to the back of my mind. I just never really go out looking because I'm not that type of person. Also, porn was alright, I mean...it's nothing special...it's all the same anyways. It was as good as porn gets I guess.

*shrugs*

 

[KennyD]

I believe that since he took your "Anal Virginity" ... that you were very nervous and things did not function as usual ....
It is nothing to get overly excited about ... You WILL get erections when you are with or think about the right person .... although there was a thread on here awhile back about many guys who do not get erections while receiving anal sex ...so I would not worry , If I were you ...
Whoever you are with , make sure the both of you use protection .... take things slow ... relax 'n enjoy yourself. If you are not really into it ... things will probably stay limp ...
Good luck !!

 

[Soilwork]

I mean.. to me it really just sounds like you weren't into the guy. He's not someone you wanted in the first place... he's not even gay - just some dude with a girlfriend treating you like a jerkoff toy and then running out after he blew his load.

No wonder you're not feeling that great. I'd be feeling like ikky at this moment as well.

What would make you feel good is probably going on a date with a guy.. someone who was into you.. made you feel attractive and confidant. Wanted to maybe stick around after sex and cuddle or at least lay in bed together and watch TV.

Sex shouldn't make you feel dirty or bad, it should make you feel sexy and energized. But only if it's good sex. Think of sex like food.. stay away from the drive-thru windows and go for the three-course sit down where you get the service you need.

 

[Rali_hates_Mondays]

Perhaps you felt guilty about him cheating on his GF with you?

 

[JR]

I've pruned this tread a bit to keep it on topic. Let's try not to beat up on this confused guy. If you're not feeling helpful, cut him some slack and post somewhere else.




There are a million reasons why it wasn't necessarily 'Great'. You weren't in to him. You might not be a bottom. He was kinda flippant. You might have felt guilty. You probably weren't very comfortable with it being your first time.

Trust me. The first time is hardly a shining moment regardless of all of the coming of age sex stories you've read. You are feeling a little creeped out because it wasn't right...and it probably was a little creepy.

Don't worry about not being gay or sexual. You simply have standards...and good for you!

 

[Great Big C]

To take this in another direction: Take it from a married guy...I'm gay, and married to a man, and there's times I look at him and think "nah, I'd rather just do it myself".

I think we all have times that we're just not into it. Worry not.

 

[Shepherd 2]

Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Sex is just sex, and that can be spectacular to some here
always, but until it is sex in the context of being love and
making love to a man, it is just sex.

I wonder if there is something you are not telling us.
Some of are abused men at a young age, and what you
described would not be unusual for us on a time sexual
experience with another man.
Shep+

 

[gabriel1]

no biggie - you just were not physically aroused by him...

 

[lyconthrope]

^^exactly, sounds like he didnt do anything to make you particularly comfortable and then he just f***ed off afterwards couldnt have done much for your ego.

just try not to worry about it too much, there is nothing wrong with you I would do as Soil suggested, just find somebody you like spending time with, everything else will follow from there

 

[gabriel1]

To take this in another direction: Take it from a married guy...I'm gay, and married to a man, and there's times I look at him and think "nah, I'd rather just do it myself".

I think we all have times that we're just not into it. Worry not.

there were a lot of time when I had a partner that I did this. Nah... I'll do it myself - seriously sometimes you just don't want to have sex. Masturbation is FUN

 

[Pushover]

While I'm in no position to judge, I thought of a rather interesting metaphor (yes, this is what I do) for your situation. It might help, or it might not, but it might make you laugh, which is good for a start:

You like Apple pie? Yes.

Somebody makes apple pie for you, and you love it.

Now, somebody else makes an apple pie and you hate it.

Does this mean you now hate apple pie? No.

Now, suppose this bad apple pie was your first pie you ever had. Do you decide you don't like apple pie after one example? Is it fair to judge all apple pies by only tasting one?

Maybe you like cherry pie better, or even blackberry pie, or maybe you prefer cheesecake. How will you know what you like and dislike if you don't try it?

Whether you like apple pie or not, it all depends on who is doing the cooking.

Get the picture?

 

[lyconthrope]

^^^^ hehe thats actually pretty good

 

[ronboy]

no biggie - you just were not physically aroused by him...

Gabriel said it best....Sir Ron has been around the block (more than a few times).....no more need be said.....

 

[star-warrior]

I think you're having issue with people touching you because you can't relax into it. When you're with someone else, you must have a degree of trust as well. Your personal space is being entered, and that makes some people uncomfortable.

If you're not ready for it yet, don't worry. Someday it'll happen, but by then you'd probably be desparate

Or you have no libido. You decide which is worst.