I don't think I'm ever going to come out to my mother.

[Jeimuzu]

She seems to think having long hair is unnatural for guys, and makes me 'unemployable'.

*sigh* When will people realise, with my build and my facial structure, I look like a stupid overweight posh 14 year old public schoolboy when I've got short hair?

 

[Jeimuzu]

I have no idea. I wonder if she ventures into the real world anymore. She clearly doesn't take any stock of her surroundings.

Apparently, Morrisons, the local supermarket is the only place that will ever employ me, because someone there has ear-stretchers (she didn't know this until I said), and apparently is the only place where this ever happens.

 

[G-Lexington]

Maybe you can bundle all the hair up under your hat when you go out to work.

Off to earn gainful employment, and strike another blow against communism!

Lex

 

[Jeimuzu]

Maybe you can bundle all the hair up under your hat when you go out to work.

Off to earn gainful employment, and strike another blow against communism!

Lex

Sadly, I'll look like a complete and utter tool if I wear a hat.

There's no way, in the modern world, for an 18 year old like me to wear a hat and still look 'professional'. Some people can pull off the hat look, but it's in the same way some people can pull off any image - it still doesn't make it professional.

 

[Absolut]

Secretly?

She already knows.

 

[Absolut]

Why do people say that..?

My mother was completely floored. Hell, my father STILL thinks its an experiment.

Not to say that i'm uber straight 100% man(fuck that, thats the most boring thing a man can be), but sheesh... momma don't always know.

I think they do

They just don't always show it...

There's a smidgen of SOMETHING in a tiny little part of their brains that thinks "he's gay"

Whether they say what they're thinking? Some do, some don't.

 

[treanir]

She seems to think having long hair is unnatural for guys, and makes me 'unemployable'.

I know how important other people's opinions can be, especially those of your parents, but really: this isn't any of her business. It's your hair and you can grow it any way you like.

Now don't you forget that, ever.

 

[Jeimuzu]

I know how important other people's opinions can be, especially those of your parents, but really: this isn't any of her business. It's your hair and you can grow it any way you like.

Now don't you forget that, ever.

Aye, I'm trying to move out soon. I'll be completely away from her saying the things she does, and maybe she'll think a little while I'm gone. She says things like "I want you to make me proud, and make yourself proud."

1.) Almost totally mutually exclusive. Things that make me proud of myself don't make her proud of me.

2.) Being the youngest, to make her impressed, I've got to outperform three other people, all of whom are capable, intelligent people with more work experience, more money and more knowledge applicable to the business world, and they are also more open with their successes. When I achieve something, I don't really tell my family. I don't want to. I'd maybe mention it in conversation, but not as an achievement, just as a passing fact.

3.) She seems to think I can do all of this without help. I'm 18 with little experience in anything. I can adapt, I can fit in with people, but I can't guess what I'm meant to do. She helped my eldest brother, because he was the first. Gave my sister quite a lot of help too. In the next few years, I think she just gave up, because both me and my other brother are stuck and we have no idea what we're meant to do. She criticises us for lacking direction in our lives, but we know where we want to get to. We just don't have a map or compass.

Secretly?

She already knows.

Some do. She doesn't, trust me. She's convinced I'm gonna marry a girl. She was joking about how "You're gonna have to buy tampons eventually, when your wife sends you for them..." we were having a debate about bad advertising. (I was saying that it was a bad advert because it annoyed me, she said it worked subliminally because I was talking about it, I said I'd already forgotten what brand it was, and I'm not their target market - which was followed by the comment above.)

Anyways, she's made the occasional homophobic comment about TV characters and stuff.

 

[treanir]

1.) When faced with the choice of making you proud or making your mother proud, I think you should go for the former. You shouldn't completely break with her or anything, but in end it is all about living the way you want to live your life. You need to live it, after all.

2.) Maybe it's time to share your achievements openly? Let them know you are working towards something (even if you're fuzzy on what that really is)? Also: you're 18. There's no reason for you to have mapped your life so soon. You're still looking for what you want to do with your life and that's fine. Don't compare yourself to people who've been on this world longer. Hell, don't compare yourself to anyone. Fast or slow - things go the way they go.

3.) Maybe there's someone you could borrow a temporary map&compass from? If not, the rule of (1) and (2) still applies: live your life the way you want to.

 

[Jeimuzu]

1.) When faced with the choice of making you proud or making your mother proud, I think you should go for the former. You shouldn't completely break with her or anything, but in end it is all about living the way you want to live your life. You need to live it, after all.

2.) Maybe it's time to share your achievements openly? Let them know you are working towards something (even if you're fuzzy on what that really is)? Also: you're 18. There's no reason for you to have mapped your life so soon. You're still looking for what you want to do with your life and that's fine. Don't compare yourself to people who've been on this world longer. Hell, don't compare yourself to anyone. Fast or slow - things go the way they go.

3.) Maybe there's someone you could borrow a temporary map&compass from? If not, the rule of (1) and (2) still applies: live your life the way you want to.

Oh, indeed. I agree on every point, but the problem is, my mother is trying to force her own answers to those points, and that's what's causing difficulties - and therefore, making it clear she doesn't understand how I work, and actually struggles to tell my personality apart from my brothers.

This is why I intend to move away. She's welcome to visit, but if she starts to infuriate me, I'll make it clear I don't want her around, and when I'm in my own house, I can say that.

I'm looking forward to the freedom, even if I'm intimidated by it.

 

[Riverrick]

Do the best you can with your hair for now. Some employers are not going to like it and there's no way around that. But for your age, you should be able to get away with it quite often.

In a few years, your facial structure will mature more and you won't need the hair so much to make you look older. So there is hope.

As for your future, stay in school and take part time jobs and it will map itself out. Each year you will become clearer on what you don't want to do and closer to what appeals to you, what you do best. There's no rush for now. In fact, I think its a bad idea for an 18 year old to get locked into a set notion of a career.

You do have your personality and wit and creativity going for you so I tend to think you're life is going to turn out just fine.

 

[Jeimuzu]

Yummers, it should probably be pointed out that I actually find the Princes very unattractive.

And as for the colour, I've wanted to for ages, but it'll just make things worse.

 

[Riverrick]

Yummers, it should probably be pointed out that I actually find the Princes very unattractive.

..........​

Turn in your British Gay Card right now!

 

[Marbas]

..........​

Turn in your British Gay Card right now!

I think you'll find that an awful lot of Brits think that the so-called (although provably illegitimate) 'Princes' are a couple of unattractive twats ...much like the rest of the so-called (bastardised) 'British Royal Family'.

But (apparently) they're considered 'good for tourism', and for fleecing ready cash out of gullible monarchy-mad foreigners, so, generally, we are prepared to tolerate their ludicrous (and totally unfounded) claims to ' Royalty' (whatever that is supposed to mean these days).

Personally, I look forward to the day when the UK becomes a true meritocracy, and all this 'Royalty' nonsense has been consigned to the oblivion of historical ananchronism.

Meanwhile; Vive la revolutioni!

 

[Jeimuzu]

..........​

Turn in your British Gay Card right now!

Hah nah, people are meant to be converted by their very over-the-top Britishness. Being a brit myself, I'm not so drawn to them. Anyways, Harry just looks very very average, and William has that weird cartoon smirk, that one where it's taller than wide... he just makes me feel like he's gonna set his goons on me - all of whom are 7' tall and identical, and have the names Red, Ted, Ged, and Gareth - and steal my powers by taking away all my fresh fruit or tootsie rolls or something.

 

[Marbas]

^
Hey! My names Gareth, I'm only 5 ft 7 inches tall, and I'm no 'Royal' goon.

 

[Marbas]

Gosh, I love everything about the Brits

Aw, don't worry babes, I expect you'll grow out of it eventually.

 

[cocktales]

Jake:

Your Mom is trying to help; but bless her heart, doesn't she realize that you're ONLY 18 and just starting out in this great BIG old world?

You canNOT be Prez of the company just yet, you have to start some-where and usually that's NOT the most important job there is!

Try to humor her; but get OUT of that house just as soon as you can afford to do so....

...and perhaps you could move to another city where your Mom canNOT just pop into your apartment at a whim!

You need your space.............

Good luck!
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[NineOfClubs]

You say you're the youngest (I was the oldest) and I think most mothers fall apart when it's time for their youngest to leave them. Seen it over and over....

She's just being a bit desparate, I'm sure she knows you're gay and she's in the deepest denial doing all she can to keep you close.

Do what you have to, for yourself and not for her.

 

[star-warrior]

Morrisons eh? Tell them you either want to work in the fruit & veg section, or the meat deli. That really ought to be a big enough hint

You can ogle the beefy looking customers, even the old ladies with the moustaches and beards.