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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

I dont Understand flaming queers

Re: I dont Understand feminine gay guys

ugh some of you are just too defensive to try to understand

I am pretty sure you got the response you did, because you chose to illustrate your point using a very derogatory term in your thread name, and your question. "Flaming" is used to describe homosexuals because they were at certain times in history burned at the stake, and is a pretty negative term.

I myself like guys who are more masculine, and quite often a bit overweight. Stocky, Hairy, and Bear are all good adjectives that I use to describe men that I find attractive. My friend referred to someone that I found attractive the other day as "Tubbers", and it really kind of agitated me. That term does not have a positive connotation, and I didn't see any reason why he felt the need to use it. He didn't find the guy attractive, that is fine, but that was no reason to insult him or my tastes.

Perhaps if you named your thread "I dont Understand feminine gay guys", you would have received a better response.
 
Queens and flamers crack me up and are funny as hell, seem to be fun to hang out with or talk to but I'm not really attracted to most of them.



^^
LOLZ @ this
 
Queens and flamers crack me up and are funny as hell, seem to be fun to hang out with or talk to but I'm not really attracted to most of them.



^^
LOLZ @ this

meh....honestly...the guy just sounds angry bc no ones watching him....
 
This is a great topic!!! I've wondered this myself. And most of the people on here who have jumped on you for asked this have probably done so because you just worded it wrong. But I get what you are trying to ask. I really don't know why some men act "flaming" but I can say from having been to college with many gay boys, I have heard some of them, in a way change the tone quality of their voices in some instances. For example; This one kid constantly spoke in a pitch that resembled a woman's voice. But one day in the library, i overheard him taking out a book, in the deepest voice I've ever heard come out of his mouth and it seemed completely natural that he was talking this deep way. So, it leads me to believe that some men "put on" some characteristics that are not natural to create an image but why they are is a great question. I understand that "flamers" are here to stay or whatnot, I don't think anyone here (I don't think) is trying to change the situation of how people choose to act, but just an explaination IF you or someone you know emulates feminine characteristics and this is not the way you or this person has acted in the past, or if something that is maintained or in a sense put on, why is this? Why is there a need or feeling to create this look or persona?
 
I think that it comes natural when someone gets excited a lot of the time. My tone changes when I'm excited, hyper, or about to go off on someone. I don't consciously do it, but I can tell a difference. It's kinda like when someone from a different country starts getting angry, their accent gets thicker because they're more focused on getting the feeling of the message out, they're not focused on making sure everything sounds like it should. Same thing happens with a lot of gay men. I know when I'm going off on someone, I'm not thinking, "Ok, let me scream at them, but let me do it in the most masculine way I can." I'm pissed at that moment and don't care how it comes out.
 
>>>If there are any flamers reading this, can you answer a question on the honor system? What drives someone to want to act like the opposite sex? I'm genuinely intrigued.

Don't get hung up on the word "act". It's not an "act", anymore than you "act" straight. Once the crowd empties out, and they're all alone, they don't suddenly revert to "acting normal". That's just how they are.

Lex
 
I act like a flamer sometimes cuz it's fun. :D Seriously everyones so caught up in defending the people that do it naturally, that you seem to be forgetting that there are those among us who get more queeny for the hell of it. It's fun watching people's reactions to it :D Specially people who swear up and down that I'm straight. Normally when I tell people I'm gay they go no way you're jokin right, and after about the 4th time I turn on the flamer inside. Seems to help it sink in :D
Sometimes not all the time but sometimes flamers are flamers cuz it's fun for them.
 
The only thing I have to say about 'flaming queers' is that sometimes, when people come out or they tell others that they're gay, they may feel the need to 'act the stereotype'.
 
I don't really understand what you're trying to say. You don't like feminine men and you want a "normal acting guy"? What exactly is a normal acting person anyway? I think that's my question to you. I mean yeah, some guys are feminine, some masculine...but those are through stereotypes. Nothing is black and white Lewis1. I think the bashing of certain individuals within the LGBT is a huge issue, notably calling out "flaming queers". So what, they're feminine. Who gives a flying fcuk...they like guys. Again, who cares. Then again there's probably some absurdly obscure psychological theory for all this. ](*,)

The whole point of the fucking thread was to get a better understanding from otehr people about this topic.
A normal person is one who does not raise red- flags in casual passing them by

Of course upon further review of a person theres going to be more that meets the eye. If it was just a simple case of saying they are what they are--case closed then there probbably would not be a need for any of the topics or questions in the world.

again I dont get why A guy WHo likes guys would completely act like a female.
they like men for being men but dont want to be one themselves?
thats the issue
 
Meh.

You've been here on this site now for 2 1/2 years, and you started this thread 4 months ago and gotten various advice, to which you still don't get. Not going to waste my breath on explaining it any further other to just say, "You'll get it some day".

1) if you actually read the thread you will see no one gave any answers that were concrete & most made it seem like it was just a personal problem with which it was not

2) some one recently bumped this thread and i saw a response that i did not see before and responded to it now

3) I dont think human nature is something to just "get" anyway i wasnt loooking something carved in stone
 
Maybe the media has something to do with it. I watched this wonderful movie recently called, "Celluloids Closet" (recommend everyone to watch it, it was just great) and it showed how gays have been portrayed in film since the beginning of films, and it seems as though society has taken to the way gays have been stereotypically portrayed on film as weak individuals, for example: the "sissy" character on film. So is it possible that society has grown accustomed to the stereotype and when people accept their sexuality they think that fitting themselves into a category (one possibility; in order to secure some sense of identity since they feel "left out" of the dominant box that those who identify themselves as straight have created, so that a comfortability is gained). So, people form behaviors in order to feel good about being in a category, the way people enforce their genders, although genders wouldn't be so separated personality-wise, and physically if society hadn't enforced from birth even, with boys given blue blankets and girls getting pink, and these messages are enforced throughout our lives in film and society. So, according to how one identify themselves, like a guy who identifies himself as straight may choose or just naturally behave stereotypical "straight boy" type which is tough, whether its put on or not with some people, we will never know, and a stereotypical "gay man" is one who is separated visibly and audibly in images and films so, a gay person may feel the need to imitate in order to feel more apart of a group or community or subconsciously imitate this identity. Could society be imitating film?
 
I'm not trying to be an ass. But you are trying to intellectualize something that is simply impossible to do.

I have not read your history, so bear with me.....

Why do you like frat boys? Or black guys? Or asian guys? Or not?

Why do you like or dislike feet? Or armpits? Or a guy's smile or eyes? Or none of those?

Why are you attracted to smooth guys? Or hairy guys? Or not?

Why do you find short guys attractive usually? Or tall guys? Or not?

Why do you like oral sex best? Or anal sex? Or topping? Or bottoming? Or not?

When you stop being so judgmental about others, you will stop being so judgmental of yourself and find some peace, solace, and happiness in your life. It just doesn't matter. Why try to intellectualize your turn ons or turn offs? What does that accomplish? Why does it matter?





AGREED!!!!! :=D:
 
ok i know there is a such thing of a guy being feminine or being very feminine but flaming queers are realy uncalled for.

I mean if you are into guys why would you think other guys want someone who embodies a female? you want a guy because they are a guy which means you would wanta preety normal acting guy

the only reason a guy would get with them is cause they feel like they are still going with a female and can in some way satisfy society by being with them

its crazy

does ne one want to way in on this lol

If I may give my 2c on this.

Did you know that there is a supression of the Number 3 - which is the number for the feminine energy?

You soul/spirit/essence is infact genderless and you are infact androgynous.

Let me ask you direct questions and trust me I will be able to read inbetween the lines and pick up your subliminal vibrations.

Why do you not understand the feminine energy?

How do you generally treat women and effeminate men?

How does society generally treat women and effeminate men?

Have you accepted your sexuality?

Do you model homosexuality with the same principles of heterosexuality?

Can you see above and beyond the 3D matrix?

Do you know what is really going on in the world but not what the Media tells you?

Define normal.

Also do you eat meat and diary?

What kind of music you listen to?

What is your favourite colour?

These question may seem off topic and irrelevant however I request that you answer these question honestly and go indepth if you have to. Some advice - use your right brain.

Here is a calculation for you and I will tell you what it means but not now - I'll just let your sub-concious resonate with it.

3+6=9+2=11

And when you do respond please do refrain from using 'SMS' language;)

http://www.timbergling.com/sissyphobia/ I recommend you get this book - just as base - because you will be building a foundation if you open minded.
 
i don't understand the need to bash the OP...he simply is asking a valid question. i, for one, feels the same way about men acting like women; i don't judge them in any way, but like the OP, i just don't get where they're coming from. that doesn't make me a judgemental person because it is not my intention to judge them for who they are--i am just not understanding their behavior, i guess.

Why do you have to understand? In addition, it almost seems as if you're implying that it is a conscious decision. Either way, for whatever reasons, that's who they are as people.
 
great response!

i don't understand the need to bash the OP...he simply is asking a valid question. i, for one, feels the same way about men acting like women; i don't judge them in any way, but like the OP, i just don't get where they're coming from. that doesn't make me a judgemental person because it is not my intention to judge them for who they are--i am just not understanding their behavior, i guess.

the poster above mentioned a pretty good opinion about the portrayal of gays in movies. where i came from, almost 90% of gay men act like women. that was looked at as the norm when someone is gay, and those who are not transgendered still act and talk like women. i never understood why that was the case, and it really didn't help me at all and didn't encourage me to come out because acting like a woman was never my intention, and the only thing different about me as a gay guy is that i like men not women. it was a big shock to me living here in the US and knowing how being gay here could be as normal as i imagined it would be (not that there's something wrong or abnormal about being feminine). if anything, i think being gay in the US emphasizes too much on being way too masculine and having those "to-die-for" bodies we see on gay porn. i guess society plays a role as well whether we consider it a factor or not.

i really don't see anything wrong with lewis1's question for as long as he doesn't treat the feminine gays differently than the rest of us.

What is there to get exactly? Why do you move and talk the way you do? Please answer that question for me. :)
 
your question doesn't make any sense to me. if your intention is to read my mind and pre-judged me based on my opinion, this forum is not the place for that.

Read your mind and pre-judge you? I simply asked you a question in order to prove my point. The fact that you said my question doesn't make sense, clearly did.

It's a very simple question.

Why do you move and talk the way that you do? You're essentially asking feminine gay men the same question.

So why are you not able to answer it yourself?
 
being gay is not a conscious decision, but dressing like a woman is.

All effeminate men do not dress like women.

is it also a conscious decision that some gay men who used to be so masculine looking and straight acting are now very feminine with their ways--the answer i have for you is yes, at a certain degree there's a conscious decision to make some life changing choices.

Who's to say that those men who changed from masculine to feminine were not being true to themselves? So while it may have been a conscious choice, they may have made a choice to be themselves.

the way one feels and the way one acts are two different things. am i telling anyone not to follow their heart and do what makes them happy--NO! i never said anything about them being inferior just because of what they've chosen to do with their lives, so i don't appreciate being judged based on my own personal opinion.

No one is judging you. I have not said anything about your character, so you do not have to be defensive.
 
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