I feel like a perv and uncomfortable

[yourally]

I am 25 years old and this is an incredibly stupid situation.

Last night, I went to a religious event with my mother and sister, and a guy who's been a family friend since preschool was there. He's the same age as my sister.

We had fun and it was nice.

He made comments about being taller than me and being able to beat me up, in a joking manner and it turned me on. I am ashamed of this. I also kind of find him attractive, which I hate to admit.

My sister is 20 and so is he.

However, I used to babysit for both him and my sister, so I feel like a pervert.

Anyway, my birthday is later this week and I thought I'd invite him and his brother (who is my age) to my last minute hangout idea. (I wasn't planning on doing anything)

I contacted him on facebook for his cell # and asked when a good time to call would me, saying I had something to invite him to and he said he'd be free after 10PM.

At first this weirded me out, as I am black and I think blacks are super homophobic. I remember seeing a video on youtube about how guys(especially friends) shouldn't call each other after 10PM.

Calling him at this time makes me uncomfortable. Yes, I have known of him since preschool, but outside birthday festivities and the holiday, we aren't ever in touch.

So, not only do I feel like a dirty perv, I feel like calling so late is weird. (I have called other black males after 10PM, but I felt close to them)

Anyways, I realize for being 25, this is a petty situation, but yeah, criticize me and give your unrestrained opinion.

(I just thought calling to invite him and his brother to hangout on my birthday was good manners as opposed to messaging or texting.)

 

[yourally]

10 is probably when he gets off of work. So dramatic am I.

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

Um, no. You're 25 and he is 20. You're both adults. Stop being so dramatic

 

[Telstra]

I don't see any issues here.

 

[Ganoderma]

hi yourally,

I think you should try to forget the past ( = the period when you were a babysitter) and that you should realize yourself that both of you are right now adults (20 and 25). Such an age gap of five years is large when you are 8 years old (or something like that), but right now it is irrelevant.

Just make a phonecall with him at the time he told you and don't bother too much about it. Just invite him to your birthday party. Happy birthday and I hope you will have a nice party.

Good luck and take care.

 

[checkinthingsout]

I am 25 years old and this is an incredibly stupid situation.

Last night, I went to a religious event with my mother and sister, and a guy who's been a family friend since preschool was there. He's the same age as my sister.

We had fun and it was nice.

He made comments about being taller than me and being able to beat me up, in a joking manner and it turned me on. I am ashamed of this. I also kind of find him attractive, which I hate to admit.

My sister is 20 and so is he.

However, I used to babysit for both him and my sister, so I feel like a pervert.

Anyway, my birthday is later this week and I thought I'd invite him and his brother (who is my age) to my last minute hangout idea. (I wasn't planning on doing anything)

I contacted him on facebook for his cell # and asked when a good time to call would me, saying I had something to invite him to and he said he'd be free after 10PM.

At first this weirded me out, as I am black and I think blacks are super homophobic. I remember seeing a video on youtube about how guys(especially friends) shouldn't call each other after 10PM.

Calling him at this time makes me uncomfortable. Yes, I have known of him since preschool, but outside birthday festivities and the holiday, we aren't ever in touch.

So, not only do I feel like a dirty perv, I feel like calling so late is weird. (I have called other black males after 10PM, but I felt close to them)

Anyways, I realize for being 25, this is a petty situation, but yeah, criticize me and give your unrestrained opinion.

(I just thought calling to invite him and his brother to hangout on my birthday was good manners as opposed to messaging or texting.)

I don't think you feeling like a perv has anything to do with calling after 10. I think it has more to do with the fact that part of the reason you are calling to invite him to your birthday is because you are attracted to him and he turns you on, however, he has shown little to no interest in you in the same way.

Does he know you are gay? Is he gay? There is nothing wrong with reconnecting with an old friend, but I would make sure to keep your intentions friendly, then there should be no feelings of guilt or like a perv.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I agree that your apprehension shouldn't be the meager age differences, but more to that you're kinda making moves on someone who is more than likely unobtainable (straight). Even more awkward that he's a family friend.

Tread carefully.

 

[LAPan75]

Homophobia exists, only where there is Homoerotic inclinations.
Hopefully you get on at 10pm and he keeps you on the line.... until you both, got to, get off.

​

 

[Seasoned]

It seems as though your desire to reconnect is because he turns you on. If you're not out to him and you are using your birthday as an excuse to fantasize, I can understand why you think it's Percy. If you have no such motive and are out to him and know his sexuality there's no reason to second guess yourself.

 

[LutheranGuy]

I remember seeing a video on youtube about how guys(especially friends) shouldn't call each other after 10PM.

Most advice on youtube is individual experience and it not a collective reality. In other words, who gives a fuck what you heard on youtube. Call whoever you want.

 

[dereperez]

You're over-thinking this. You're both adults, he gave you the okay to call after 10PM, so call him after 10PM. The cinderella slippers don't have to magically disappear just because the clock struck 10.

What happens after you hang out with him is up to you. Tread carefully if you live in a homophobic environment, but otherwise...no pain, no gain, right?

 

[yourally]

I chickened out and cancelled my birthday plans, so nothing lost, but nothing gained as well. Thanks for all of the advice!

 

[innocentbychoice]

Don't see an issue either.