The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

I fell in love, but felt painful...

S

stonegrill

Slut
Joined
Mar 24, 2005
Posts
158
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Hi, I got a problem lately. I think I am in love with one of my colleague in work. We have eye signals and we look deep into each other's eyes every time, every time, we meet. But things are getting painful on my side because I want more!!! :grrr:

We work at a professional environment so I guess being gay and out is a taboo, but I could care less because I feel so comfortable with my sexuality. The problem I think is not me but rather him. (I hope I am not pointing fingers away from me, and I do want your advice to give me a clearer perspective.)

He is one of the vice presidents of the company. Very successful business man, charming, with great qualification and past work experience. He is 30, rather I am only 23. I just always feel that we are not at the same vibe.:help: It is where the problem comes from. We have had eye contacts for a month now and I am confident (or may be not) that he is gay and emotionally available as I am. But it is just he doesn't make a move to approach me. As I said before we have had eye contacts for month. Every time we bump to each other we will look into others eyes for a second. But it is a month now, I feel myself at a comfortable level to want more than just eye contact. I want to talk to him, perhaps to escalate our relationship. But he was like normal just looking into my eyes. I even start to say hi to him when we met, but he was still the same just look at me into my eyes. I just felt painful that we are not going any where#-o I really don't know what the problem is. I was thinking first is that he is at least 7 years older than me. Given his achievements and maturity, he is so independent and hold his emotions tightly. But I am just 23. I really want love. Lots and lots of love. Or second, he is at a different status than me. Well he is a vice president of the company. And I am just at the entry level position. He doesn't want me. Or third, he is not comfortable with his sexuality yet. Coz in my generation being gay is trendy, but in his, it's a no no. Or forth, he doesn't want me. If that is the case, then my life will be happier coz i really don't want to be in this guessing game. it's so painful ](*,).

Anyone was in similar situation??? I really need help (or advice as i don't wanna sound desperate ;) ) thank! (*8*)
 
You are not going to like this, sorry. I think you should leave well alone put him out of your mind and actively look elsewhere. If he wants to make a move on you I would also be wary. Mixing your private life up with your work life can be a big mistake. He is your senior in the work heirarchy. If things went wrong your job could be at stake. Work on the assumption that you fourth scenario is where it's at because, as you say, your life will be happier. Stop guessing and try to ignore your feelings. (*8*)
 
No no it will not work.

Date within your league.

I knew a girl that slept her way to the top. You dont want to do that. You want to earn your promotion.

The man is not interested in you sexually and from what you write he appears very straight.


Its called listenning to someone. You mistake his looking at you as longing but in reality its how he was trained to intereact with all employees.

I say enjoy the eye candy but dont dilly dally.
 
You do not want to get involved with him. This would only end up hurting you and your job.
 
you don't need to mix things up.

assuming you like your job...remember the job!!!!!

if you don't like the job. what the hay
 
Hmmm....tough one. So, he's the VP and you're the Jr and yeah, if you slept with him, you might just earn yourself an easy promotion - I'd echo the advice already given here that you should stay clear of these thoughts, although I doubt you'd have the slightest though of that, if you know what I mean.

OK, he has had eye contact with and vice versa. What baffles me is - have you tried "talking" to him? I mean, it's very normal for a Jr to be talking with the boss about non-work related stuff. How about start with "How was the weekend?". If he talks to you, then, keep on talking. Cool! Maybe you could then ask him if you could join him at the lunch table or something. Keep it professional. If he acts cold, then I'd say maybe it's time for you to move on. Good luck! Oh, I might just add, I don't age is the issue here but maybe you're right - he might not be very comfortable about his sexuality.
 
trawler69 said:
You are not going to like this, sorry. I think you should leave well alone put him out of your mind and actively look elsewhere. If he wants to make a move on you I would also be wary. Mixing your private life up with your work life can be a big mistake. He is your senior in the work heirarchy. If things went wrong your job could be at stake. Work on the assumption that you fourth scenario is where it's at because, as you say, your life will be happier. Stop guessing and try to ignore your feelings. (*8*)
Click to expand...

I have to agree...totally. There is an old saying that says "Never dip the pen in office ink". It is the truth. Even if the guy is gay and even if you had a relationship or even a "fling"....what would happen if you suddenly got into a fight or decided you didn't like each other or, worse, didn't want to be around each other?? It is NOT worth jeopardizing your job to find out, unless you absolutely don't care about your job. Forget about him being anything beyond a co-worker or "boss". There is also another side to this. If he is not gay, and you make some kind of move on him, he is in enough of a position of power to make your life very miserable. There are too many other places to meet your dream guy and plenty of other guys out there for you. Let it go.
 
Well, I know nothing of Industrial Relations Law in Canada but here in New Zealand if he were to make any sexual advances towards you in the workplace he'd be breaking the sexual harassment laws and would be placing himself in an extremely vulnerable position.

There's a good deal more to life than sex. It's highly likely that a person of his age and position already has a partner, or a busy sex life outside the workplace.
 
I have been thinking about him whenever I am free. It is really tough to get him out of my mind... I was surprised to getting these responses but I really appreciate them as I have no clue thinking something like that. I am too blinded into love.

I am not thinking of having a promotion. All I want is simply love and didn't think too much about anything complicated. He works in another department but we work on the same floor. I really think there is something in his eye. We have one time that we look into each other's eye for 3 seconds. But I really don't know. I feel like I am kind of loss

I was kind of thinking about the same thing. He is 30. I think he is single, but for sure he may have a vivid sex life as how can he hold?.... I really have no clue on what the trouble I am heading. :(
 
Oh no.... ](*,) it is really really tough. My feeling is getting too deep. :eek: Even if I want to leave, I really don't know how. :confused:


I really think that he has some feeling of me. On the rememberance day weekend he took a 2 days off, so we didn't meet for 5 days. In my position i will pass his office every day around 9. And on the next day after the holiday, he did wait for me passing by and give me one of the sweetest look that got me soooooo happy for the day.

I really don't know. He may want me, but he may be wise enough to see through some possible trouble so hesitated?? I really don't know. I do think that we make a very good couple. I have great educational background so I am not afraid to talk to anyone in his position.

I really have no clue. Ah....................................................... What life has too be so complicated. :cry:
 
How sweet. I am going to give you different thoughts.

Love is wonderfull and it does hurt.

The age difference is NO problem, as a matter of fact that is a very nice age difference. Most of the really happy gay relationships I know of has that kind of age difference.

Now, I gather he is not your direct bos but in another department. So, talk to him!!!. Wait for an opportunity and make some small talk to him. See how he reponds. Because he is a couple of years older and a work senior, does not mean that he can take the lead in matters of the heart. Maybe he feels the same as you and his personality does not allow him to repond first.

Take the initiative......if it does not work out.... so.. then you will just cope with whatever.

The advise I gave you, is the way I would have handled it and I have had a very sucessfull and happy love life.
 
Do not make a move yet! Just chat. I don't think you know each other well enough for anything, either way. You can't judge someone from their appearance and the looks they give you. Talk to him, and if you get on well enough, a few weeks later maybe progress?
 
stonegrill said:
Oh no.... ](*,) it is really really tough. My feeling is getting too deep. :eek: Even if I want to leave, I really don't know how. :confused:


I really think that he has some feeling of me. On the rememberance day weekend he took a 2 days off, so we didn't meet for 5 days. In my position i will pass his office every day around 9. And on the next day after the holiday, he did wait for me passing by and give me one of the sweetest look that got me soooooo happy for the day.

I really don't know. He may want me, but he may be wise enough to see through some possible trouble so hesitated?? I really don't know. I do think that we make a very good couple. I have great educational background so I am not afraid to talk to anyone in his position.

I really have no clue. Ah....................................................... What life has too be so complicated. :cry:
Click to expand...

I've been there man, so I know how you feel. I think that everything happens for a reason and if you and him are meant to be together it will happen, so just relax and don't stress out over this.
 
Well, I had kind of a similar experience........

I had a crush on my boss's son, who also worked in the business. He was 28, and I was 18, so that's a wide age gap. He was rich and hot, but single, so I'd always guess if he was gay. We'd have some casual conversations at work, but over time, I felt that all those conversations are, well, very "casual".
So, I pulled myself out of this, because obviously he was NOT interested in dating me, either he's not gay or he's not into me.

So, my advice is, it's ALWAYS a bad idea to "fuck where you work", and if that person is not interested in you, have some dignity and move on.

I hope this didn't sound too harsh................ but I hope that it was a knock on the head.....................
 
Oh, one more advice that's gonna sound harsh again, but helpful:

You may think that you're in the greatest love ever, but when you look back at it in 5 years, you'd laugh at yourself for being soooooooooo "in love"....

So, to get out of this misery, look for a better job and start fresh. That is, if your heartaches every time you see him. If you do manage to survive, time will cool down any passion.
 
An update if you want to hear:

I made a move on monday, emailed him that I want to ask him question about gym membership. Becoz we talked in an elevator one day and knew that he works out. But things turned bad. In the email I said to find him on Tuesday, but he thought that I mean immediately. So he walked to my desk area and I didn;t show any sign to him. The next day, Tuesday, Today, (oblivious to me that he mistaken the date) I approached him and emailed him, he ignored my email and was being a jerk, plus cocky.

I emailed him saying that if he is free then I will go into his office, but he didn't reply. I, being so innocent, thought that he must be busy, waited until the end of the day, then had the guts to rush into his office (first time ever). His office is at the opposit side of the building of mine. He was like: why do you come here for! I remind him I email him yesterday to find him today! I have no clue what he was thinking. He tried to look into my eyes and said we should talk more later. But I was quite angry back there I didn't receive any words, signals, he sent. Also I got an appointment so I must leave immediately. I really don't know how things go.

But I was hurt inside that how could he carelessly missed out the detail in the email. I only typed 2 sentences there. He has 2 days to review the email but obviously he didn't. His behavior is totally understandable. He becomes VP while he was 28/29. He doesn't care about people because he felt that he is always right. Simply said, he is so egoistic, self-centered, and self-appraised!!! I am only 23. My heart is still so pure and innocent. Perhaps, in his eyes I was like nothing but just a innocent boy who blindly had a crush on him.

I doubt he is going to care my feeling. He is just so attractive, have everything. He doesn't need people beisde him.
 
I'm Sorry about what happened Stonegrill, but at least now you know and you had the guts to findout. Just shows how deep the feeling must have been.

I'd have been a wimp and taken the almost unanimous advice above.

At least you still have a job! (*8*)
 
Hey Stonegrill,

I warned you, but still sorry to hear what happened. Speaking from my own experience, what you're having right now is NOT love, but simply an admiration for power and authority - it's similar to the case where young students tend to have a crush on their handsome teachers. I will say this again: YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE.

Once you leave him for a while, you're "passion" will cool down, and then you will wonder why were you so obsessed with such a jerk. (From what you wrote, I think this guy is not worth your time and heartache.)

It's very obvious that this guy is not interested in you, then HAVE SOME DIGNITY!!! YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!

I'd say, MOVE ON, there are nicer guys out there!

***Sorry to sound harsh at times, but I think that will wake you up from this mess.
 
Yes. I was wondering too. whether I am in love with him or his power (being an admiral of his success).

Today he didn't work (in canada thanksgiving day was few weeks ago) so obviously he was taking a vacation. He needs a cool off since I think he feels something of me. I had crush with closeted gay before. His behavior was like he is uncertain either of him gay or of him in love with me.

I need to cool off too since sometimes I feel that is he the one I want. He is a jerk. I know that. However it is so hard to let go since he is soooo beautiful, and I am so close to getting it. If I let down the passion, I may lose him.... :( I really have no clue !oops! He is as handsome as the guy in "The Bachelor Rome" I don't want this show anyways. But you can check out the pic. http://abc.go.com/primetime/bachelor/bios/9/prince_lorenzo_borghese.html

On the other side I was thinking how can a egoistic jerk settle down?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top