I finally came clean

[bwbw86]

I'm gonna try to keep this short because I'm tired of thinking about this. It's just a shitty day. I'm glad what I did what I did though.

Basically I've been falling for my straight friend for awhile. I'm usually able to keep it under control and just forget about it. Lately it's been more difficult. Today I finally came clean about everything. I told him it was hard for me because we spent so much time together. And it felt like we were dating. He agreed. I wasn't telling him because I wanted him to like me back. I already knew that it couldn't be like that. He has a girlfriend and can't give me what I need. He's not attracted to guys. End of story. But we all know that logic can't turn your feelings off.

He basically said what they always do...that he was still my friend and it wasn't going to change anything. But I've read the posts. It seems like it always does change. He also mentioned that he kind of knew which doesn't surprise me.

I'm just so freaked about things changing. We've spent nearly every weekend together for the past year. We have the best times. We do almost everything together. It gets me real sad thinking that that might not happen anymore. I honestly just didn't know what else to do. My inner conflict was getting so intense - knowing that we were together too much but not wanting to distance myself because of how great our friendship was.

He's supposed to call me later after he gets done hanging out with his girlfriend. I'm trying not to wait for it. I know this post is all over the place and really incomplete but that's how my thoughts are. I just wanted to write it out to you guys because I don't feel so alone here.

I think I'm just gonna go to sleep and forget about it. At least for the night.

 

[hotatlboi]

If you can keep him as a friend then do that. But if you can't keep your feelings from going elsewhere when you are with him, then I suggest you take a break from him. Otherwise you will just end up hurting yourself.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

The most telling part of your post was that "logic can't turn feelings off."

Yes the hell it can, learning to control your emotions is essential for developing into adulthood. The last thing you want to be is a slave to irrational emotions and desires, that's a crippling condition that inhibits progression and happiness.

 

[Horschallen]

I wish you well as you deal with the possible changes. I have had a painful situation like it in the past and hope not to repeat it with anyone else.

 

[bwbw86]

Thanks guys. I'm trying to just focus on working out and staying happy with myself. Keeps my mind off the whole situation. I'll let u know what happens.

 

[backpacker]

I think you did the right thing. As hard as it is now, you couldn't continue in the conflicted turmoil indefinitely. You may even need to take a little break from him to get your feelings in check. He sounds like a good friend and I think he will understand. At least you are being honest with him.

The very best cure would be for you to find a boyfriend who can reciprocate your feelings. Once you get a bf in your life, it will be far easier to be just friends with your friend. Make looking for someone a priority.

 

[nsguy2]

Things are definitely going to change and not just because he knows of your feelings.

He'll most likely get married and not be spending all his weekends with you.

You'll most likely find someone who will be able to return your feelings and spend the majority of your time with him.

Many gay man have been where you are right now so hang in there and you'll get past it - trust me.

Perhaps in a few years time you two we be able to look back and have a laugh about the whole situation.

Good luck.

 

[bwbw86]

thanks guys. we're talking again and everything seems to be cool. it was a rough couple days but i think everything's gonna be alright.