I get along with men who like men, but not "gay men"

[Krakenbwool]

Before anyone calls me out on the ignorance and general lack of sense of my threat title, yes, I know it's a contradiction. It's meant to be.

I've stated before that I'm a woman. And I've racked up quite a post count on this forum, too, which should indicate that I enjoy the company and conversation of gay/bi men. Yet despite all this, I still don't consider myself a "fag hag" in the traditional sense. Why?

First of all, I find the term pretty derogatory. I mean, "fag" and "hag" are hideous words in of themselves, never mind the connotation. But in the few times that I've attempted to watch Sex & the City or Will & Grace, I've been pretty turned off by the relationships depicted between gay men and straight women. Though it doesn't actually have to do with the relationships, more than it does with the people themselves. I've never been the gossipy, frivolous, fashion-oriented type of chick. That's not to say I'm a hideous slob, either. I'm a 5' 4" 115 lb Asian chick with straightened hair and relatively big eyes. I get hit on, believe me.

Also, I have no gay friends in real life (that I'm aware of). It's not that I actively refuse to make friends with gay people, but that the few openly gay guys I've met I've had nothing in common with. Because they were all that kind of gay guy--the stereotypical one. Which there's nothing bad about, but again it's a personality issue.

I'm actually more "one of the boys" than "one of the girls" when it comes to my personality. I get along with my guy friends better than I do my girl friends because I'm a pretty vulgar person with vulgar interests. I can watch horrible 80's action films and make crude jokes with the best of them. But in the end, I still can't open myself up fully to any of my straight friends because, and I quote myself, "I like men too much to hang out with straight men, and I like men too much too hang out with women." I really like men in the vulgar way that only gay men can, if you know what I mean. So in theory, the only people I could ever truly be open with are gay/bi men.

I suppose I'd describe myself as a masculine gay man trapped in a woman's body. If I could meet a gay/bi guy who liked wrestling, UFC, sci-fi films, rock/rap music, social discourse, and/or explicit talks about gay sex (or sex of any persuasion for that matter), that would be the bomb. And hell, I'd be his beard if he wanted me to.

I guess my point is that, damn, I kind of see the frustration that some more "discreet" gay/bi guys have with trying to find other more "discreet" gay/bi men. I wish there was a way you could know these things without having to awkwardly ask or rely on stupid stereotypes.

Oh well, until then I'll always have the men on JUB to talk to. Thanks, guys.

EDIT: Holy shit, I shouldn't late-night ramble again.

 

[evanrick]

i sort of understand. what bothers me is gay guys who go 1000 miles to pretend to be straight. i know its what society has come to expect, and they feel too much pressure to fit that mold. i have more respect for guys who break the mold, but do it in ways that other men would respect as well. and that means not offending them or judging their choice to "live a straight life" and not become romantically involved with a man.

its sort of tragic that these guys feel pressure to hide a huge part of themselves, i think a lot of homophobia comes from that, which makes it dangerous to "out" yourself to other "discreet" guys.

 

[lambdaboy]

To make such a generalization shows stupidity. No idea where on earth you are sounds liek your in some homophobic areas which tends to have gays acting more stero typical to avoid being hurt.

Sort fo if you act like a real fem we will leave you alone if you look like a real man we will kill you.

 

[lambdaboy]

Shoudl have checked first Texas that says it all HA HA

 

[ozMatty]

I suppose I'd describe myself as a masculine gay man trapped in a woman's body. If I could meet a gay/bi guy who liked wrestling, UFC, sci-fi films, rock/rap music, social discourse, and/or explicit talks about gay sex (or sex of any persuasion for that matter), that would be the bomb. And hell, I'd be his beard if he wanted me to.

Do you know any Architects?
Again not the Hollywood type either but the real ones who sound just like your description. If you can get invited to architects office xmas party(or better still the after party, hell friday night drinks at the end of big deadline week) how none of the ones i've been to have ended in someone being fired for sexual misconduct I'll never know.

 

[versatileplayer]

I'm SO TIRED of people trying to define what gay male behavior SHOULD be.

People like that have psychiatric issues.

Accept people how they ARE - no how you wish they should be.

It's like a fucking sociological hang over from the hang ups of insecure men.

And it's pathetic.

It stems from the repression of women. It comes from well defined gender roles and the idea that men behave one way and women behave another way. It's just another form of stereotyping.

It's revolting and a big turn off for me.

 

[Corny]

If I could meet a gay/bi guy who liked wrestling, UFC, sci-fi films, rock/rap music, social discourse, and/or explicit talks about gay sex (or sex of any persuasion for that matter), that would be the bomb. And hell, I'd be his beard if he wanted me to.

minus the rap music that kinda sounds like all of my friends. gay friends by the way.

do i need to tell them now that they are not gay

 

[JOHN B]

Hey Kraken---(btw---seen some your posts before...it's cool to realize now that you are a woman! welcome!)---you need to extend your social circles a bit. There are plenty of gay men who fit the description you are looking for. Plus...as far as finding female friends who are like you....I know a few of them even in my small circle of aquaintances.

 

[easyroad]

I guess my point is that, damn, I kind of see the frustration that some more "discreet" gay/bi guys have with trying to find other more "discreet" gay/bi men. I wish there was a way you could know these things without having to awkwardly ask or rely on stupid stereotypes.

You know, I'm not what you'd call "stereotypical", and sometimes I wish there were some "gay lounges" in addition to "gay clubs", so I could meet people like me.

On the other hand, I have a big problem with people who try to sweep a big part of the gay community under the rug. For better or for worse, a lot of the visibility we have today is because of the efforts of those people in the past, because they were the only ones with the guts to come out and fight for respect - even on behalf of the closeted and/or ~straight acting~ gay men, who would mock them to keep face.

I'm not saying that you're one of those people, but as you pointed out, the title of this thread is pretty ignorant and unfortunately reflects the line of thinking of quite a few gay men. You don't have to love those who are "stereotypical", but it's good to point out that everyone deserves respect, no matter how different they are from the "norm".

 

[Nomenclature]

I've attempted to watch Sex & the City or Will & Grace, I've been pretty turned off by the relationships depicted between gay men and straight women.

Or how about those Real Housewives shows? Whenever one of those women has a gay friend, it's never just a gay guy. . .it's like, a big, nelly transexual guy who gets his hair done and wears a purse and high heels.


I've tried coming out to straight female friends in the past, and I was just REALLY turned off by how they immediately changed into wanting to talk to me exclusively about their sex life and "girl" stuff. It's like. . .you knew I was human being and that we could talk about a ton of shit together for the past couple of years, but now you only want to talk to me about your boyfriend?! Fuck you.

 

[foxylina]

 

[GiacomoPisani]

don't worry about it coz they are many masculine gay men who don't like effeminate gay men at all.

 

[strangepoetry]

Before anyone calls me out on the ignorance and general lack of sense of my threat title, yes, I know it's a contradiction. It's meant to be.

I've stated before that I'm a woman. And I've racked up quite a post count on this forum, too, which should indicate that I enjoy the company and conversation of gay/bi men. Yet despite all this, I still don't consider myself a "fag hag" in the traditional sense. Why?

First of all, I find the term pretty derogatory. I mean, "fag" and "hag" are hideous words in of themselves, never mind the connotation. But in the few times that I've attempted to watch Sex & the City or Will & Grace, I've been pretty turned off by the relationships depicted between gay men and straight women. Though it doesn't actually have to do with the relationships, more than it does with the people themselves. I've never been the gossipy, frivolous, fashion-oriented type of chick. That's not to say I'm a hideous slob, either. I'm a 5' 4" 115 lb Asian chick with straightened hair and relatively big eyes. I get hit on, believe me.

Also, I have no gay friends in real life (that I'm aware of). It's not that I actively refuse to make friends with gay people, but that the few openly gay guys I've met I've had nothing in common with. Because they were all that kind of gay guy--the stereotypical one. Which there's nothing bad about, but again it's a personality issue.

I'm actually more "one of the boys" than "one of the girls" when it comes to my personality. I get along with my guy friends better than I do my girl friends because I'm a pretty vulgar person with vulgar interests. I can watch horrible 80's action films and make crude jokes with the best of them. But in the end, I still can't open myself up fully to any of my straight friends because, and I quote myself, "I like men too much to hang out with straight men, and I like men too much too hang out with women." I really like men in the vulgar way that only gay men can, if you know what I mean. So in theory, the only people I could ever truly be open with are gay/bi men.

I suppose I'd describe myself as a masculine gay man trapped in a woman's body. If I could meet a gay/bi guy who liked wrestling, UFC, sci-fi films, rock/rap music, social discourse, and/or explicit talks about gay sex (or sex of any persuasion for that matter), that would be the bomb. And hell, I'd be his beard if he wanted me to.

I guess my point is that, damn, I kind of see the frustration that some more "discreet" gay/bi guys have with trying to find other more "discreet" gay/bi men. I wish there was a way you could know these things without having to awkwardly ask or rely on stupid stereotypes.

Oh well, until then I'll always have the men on JUB to talk to. Thanks, guys.

EDIT: Holy shit, I shouldn't late-night ramble again.

OMG.
YOU. SOUND. AWESOME!!!
I could fall in LOVE!

If you lived near me, we'd be best friends forever...
It's girls like you that get me dabbling in heterosexuality...

 

[foxylina]

omg shes a girl? D:

-didnt even read the op-

 

[jizzinmypants]

Before anyone calls me out on the ignorance and general lack of sense of my threat title, yes, I know it's a contradiction. It's meant to be.

I've stated before that I'm a woman. And I've racked up quite a post count on this forum, too, which should indicate that I enjoy the company and conversation of gay/bi men. Yet despite all this, I still don't consider myself a "fag hag" in the traditional sense. Why?

I understand 100% what you mean. I am a man's man and I tend to like a man's man also. I also tend to like girls like you I have respect for the feminine stereotypical gay guys too though.

 

[stevexxx]

the problem with gay men is they're too liberal and if you dont go along their liberal beliefs they dislike you.

 

[versatileplayer]

the problem with gay men is they're too liberal and if you dont go along their liberal beliefs they dislike you.

Whew - giant stereotype flying through the room.

Here's a bit of advice for you - don't mix politics and cruising.

There are many conservative gay guys - economic conservatives more than social conservatives - but don't judge all of us books by Newsmax talking points.

PS - If you're worried about politics when you're looking for dick - turn off the TV once in awhile. The politicians want you pissed off, pissed off people write checks and vote. If you think they give a damn about you, you're just their bitch.

 

[easyroad]

the problem with gay men is they're too liberal and if you dont go along their liberal beliefs they dislike you.

Well, seeing how social conservatives deal with gay people either by pretending we don't exist or by insisting we're abnormal and unworthy of equal rights, it's not surprising, is it?

There are plenty of gay people who have conservative views (ever heard of GOProud?). The problem is that the majority of that political group sees those people as second-rate.

 

[versatileplayer]

Well, seeing how social conservatives deal with gay people either by pretending we don't exist or by insisting we're abnormal and unworthy of equal rights, it's not surprising, is it?

There are plenty of gay people who have conservative views (ever heard of GOProud?). The problem is that the majority of that political group sees those people as second-rate.

Myself I'm a pretty hard assed economic conservative - the accounts must balance!

If the GOP ditched the nutcases - they would win a lot more elections. In the last presidential election - they got the south - and that's all.

Notice in 2012 they backed further away from the hate crowd..... I predict they will continue to do - in the last poll on the subject - a majority supported gay MARRIAGE - not civil unions or an equivelent, and 70% and better supported the repeal of DADT.....

 

[Snappinit]

I get along with everyone. But when it comes to getting my dick hard I have two rules: If I want a man, I want a man. If I want a woman, I want a woman.

I don't want a man who acts like or thinks he is a female. Nothing turns me off more, sexually.

Sorry.