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I Got Stood Up

erobert

erobert

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I need to vent about getting stood up on a first date with someone I met on an online dating site two weeks ago. I texted him after a couple of minutes waiting... no response. Then I waited ten minutes and left a bit peeved off.

This is the second time something like this has happened with this guy, the first time he had to cancel due to the stomach flu. Now his brother is in town and according to the text he just sent his brother decided to stay the whole week with him- and spend the whole day with him despite the fact we already planned this a week ago.

He says he sent me a message on IM (I'm not on there all time) about canceling last min but he should have just done the responsible thing and told his brother he had other plans today.:confused:

Maybe I'm overreacting... I don't know what to think. Maybe he's apprehensive or maybe he's flakey. Whatever the case red flags are starting to go up with him.
 
Don't bother with him. Obviously, he's apprehensive. Whether he's interested or not, he obviously isn't sure and it's not good to deal with flakey relationships.
 
Tell him to go fuck himself. Two strikes and you're out.

You call someone ahead of time if something comes up and cancel with them, you don't IM or text.


He fooled you once. Shame on him.

He fooled you twice. Shame on you.

He's either playing games, or he's married to a woman and can't sneak away. Or is an 80 year old troll.
 
calm down...

relax...

don't stress...

People DO GET "stomach flu's"

People DO HAVE intrusive families...

Why don't you try again (over and over) -- and see what else is going on with this guy???

This COULD be a FUN thread...

:lol::lol::lol:
 
I'd imagine it's something to do with him. Using fake pictures or not telling the entire truth about something.

Don't take it as a negative on your part.
 
Ask him if his brother wants to join :D

jk.

Don't think much of it. It happens all the time in the so called "gay scene". So the dude's got two strikes. Don't try to cancel anything or move the heaven's to make time for him now. If you are free and he says he is to do something that's cool. And if he complains that you don't have time you can call him on the fact that he bailed twice. Just go with it I guess and don't look into too much if he bails again or comes up with an excuse.

There are plenty of other guys in this world.
 
Thanks for the feedback guys.

Beachguy, he's not married. He's supposedly my age but after these two incidents I'm starting to wonder if he is who he say he is.

"There are plenty of other guys in this world."

Well said and very true. I have a low tolerance for flaky behavior and was thinking as I walked out of that Starbuck's, "You know there are plenty of well rounded, intelligent guys in this city who will treat me as I should be treated."

And there are plenty of guys in New York I can meet just by walking out the door. I'm starting to wonder why I'm bothering with online dating when I live in one of the gay meccas of the nation...
 
The ball is now in this guy's court. He must a) apologize and b) ask for another date. If you don't demand a) and you see him again, you deserve him.
 
I agree with the guys who posted before me... he's definitely not treating you with enough respect - even if it is just a 'hook up'.
 
Set up a date with him and stand him up back make it sound nice i will pay for it dress nice tell him its going to be at a nice restaurant and boom don't show up.

An Eye for an Eye!

A few years ago a friend did that to me stood me up i called her up she was at a party or something all i heard is laughter in the background so i waited a few weeks and got her back. And i told her you know how i feel

But i do have zero Torrance for people standing me up i prefer someone to be honest and upfront.
 
Sounds like a good liar. I mean sure, sometimes people get sick or have family issues come up, but I'd say it's more likely he's using some of the oldest excuses in the book to get out of going on a date. Drop his ass. I'm sure you will have no problem finding a better guy.
 
tipmyscales86 said:
Sounds like a good liar. I mean sure, sometimes people get sick or have family issues come up, but I'd say it's more likely he's using some of the oldest excuses in the book to get out of going on a date. Drop his ass. I'm sure you will have no problem finding a better guy.
Click to expand...

You hit the nail on the head. He's lying about sending me an IM message as I just went through the chat logs on IM for this week- he didn't send any message about his change of plans. Surprise, surprise.

I have zero tolerance for lying as who knows what else he's lying about, his family being in town, his age... he's probably not even who he says he is. Ridiculous. I've deflated the ball and left the court.

Thankfully I think I dodged a bullet, avoided disappointment if he did show up and learned my lesson to only speak with verified members of dating sites; If I use them in the future.
 
I have only been stood up twice and it was embarrassing to say the least. I have zero tolerance for crap like that. Let's be realistic here. If he was actually a decent human being, he wouldn't lead you on like that.
 
Maybe he got scared and backed out at the last minute. Part of your risk for dating online...or in general.
 
I got stood up once but I got revenge. It was on Craigslist and he told me to come over. It was about a half hour drive. I get there and it's above a business on a busy downtown area and the front door is locked. There is no way to even ring his doorbell. I call him and he doesn't answer. I left many messages. I left.

I came home, made up a new email account. Copied his picture that was clothed showing his face that he sent via email. Found a picture on the San Fran site from the neck down with a guy with a hot body and a big dick. Posted an ad with both pictures saying I was versatile and I like all kinds of guys, all ages. I posted his phone number.

That's when he left me a message saying he was sorry that his sister had cut her hand and he was at the ER. I didn't believe him. I finally removed the ad to be nice. I bet hundreds of guys called him. So anyway a few months later I post an add and this fool replies to it again.
 
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