I hate having crushes.

[Hotswimguy82]

If I'm not blissfully daydreaming about possibilities, I'm wallowing in despair and the hopelessness of everything. I bounce back and forth between the two extremes and can't find a healthy middle ground.

We all know the story because we've all written and read it. There's a guy. He's gay. He's single. Our first conversation happened on AIM last night and it lasted for a little over an hour. It went very well. We get each other's humor. He is so adorable and goofy. He seemed to enjoy the conversation, and it ended with a mutual "talk to you later."

I feel hopeless because I don't want to be that annoying person that makes it obvious he has a crush on you. At the same time, I don't want him to forget that I exist. I really want to meet him in person, but I'm terrified of asking him because the last time I did that the guy ignored my message and I felt stupid and crushed. I wish we could talk more, but on AIM he always has his away message up or he's idle (usually both).

I know it's only been a day and the conversation went really well so I have absolutely no reason to feel despair, but I've faced so much disappointment over guys this year and I don't know that I can bear yet another crash and burn. It's eating away at my insides and I wish that just for once I could do things right.

 

[TX-Beau]

OK, so you have a crush on a guy you messaged for an hour one night and it's causing you this much grief?

It's probably time to moderate your expectations. You, like all of us are going to talk to and probably date a whole lot of guys who aren't right before you find one that is. This is the same for everyone, gay straight, whatever.

That doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, it's just life.

Every guy you date doesn't have to be the one, you can have a perfectly nice time with guys without jumping from a to z.

Change your M.O.

Instead of telling yourself you might like to date these guys, tell yourself you're just looking for a pleasant time, that way, all your surprises will be more likely to be good ones.

If someone ignores your messages, sucks to be them, move on. There's no point in giving them the power to affect you like this. You don't know this guy, he could be a loser.

 

[greyhorse]

Oh your definitely not alone and yes it does get to you but unfortunately you just have to move on and keep your hopes up - I'm 56 and still looking - but I am also very choosy. If someone I don't wish to know personnaly keeps testing me eventually I just have to ignore them and let them move on. so it goes both ways.
Just wishing you therefore all the best. Cheers, G

 

[simpsonsguy01]

Crushes can suck, just couple days the guy I have a crush confronted me about if I had feelings for him, I told him yeah and he said he'd never feel the same way, I already knew that but it still kind of hurt.

 

[AussieGuy91]

I hate them as well, I just do my best to convince myself that nothing can possibly happen and it eventually passes.

 

[Hotswimguy82]

OK, so you have a crush on a guy you messaged for an hour one night and it's causing you this much grief?

I've "known" him for a lot longer, this is just the first time we've spoken. Pretty typical crush situation.

It's probably time to moderate your expectations.

Probably. Or definitely.

 

[sdmister4]

Crush, so aptly named because for the most part you fall hard for a guy and then, like falling in real life, you slam into the ground.

been there, done that.

 

[NineOfClubs]

I think crushes are good things.

Sure, most often they don't go where you want them to.

But they show that you still live on hope, you still dream, you still care.

They're sweet...