I hate having to be assertive...

[peeonme]

I put my trash cans out on Tuesday night for the garbage men. I heard them on Wednesday
and went out to bring them in from the curb. They were still full.
I called our park manager (we live in a mobile home park) who said that they would be over first thing Thursday morning and get my trash.

Morning came and went, then I called Friday morning, I was assured that they would pick it up. At 4:15 Friday afternoon I paid a visit to the office. I was told that they would get it by the end of the day.

At this point I asked them where they wanted me to dump it if they failed to show, the manager quickly got on his walky talky and when I got home, my trash was being picked up.

I really don't like to play the mean card. I always feel bad, it's not in my nature, but I will do it.

Do you feel bad after being forced into being assertive?

 

[Thad1527]

Oh, yes. And that makes me a horrible manager.

 

[Cormac135]

I hate having to make the effort to phone people up to get them to do the job i've paid them to do, life's too short.

 

[Willie Boy]

I put my trash cans out on Tuesday night for the garbage men. I heard them on Wednesday
and went out to bring them in from the curb. They were still full.
I called our park manager (we live in a mobile home park) who said that they would be over first thing Thursday morning and get my trash.

Morning came and went, then I called Friday morning, I was assured that they would pick it up. At 4:15 Friday afternoon I paid a visit to the office. I was told that they would get it by the end of the day.

At this point I asked them where they wanted me to dump it if they failed to show, the manager quickly got on his walky talky and when I got home, my trash was being picked up.

I really don't like to play the mean card. I always feel bad, it's not in my nature, but I will do it.

Do you feel bad after being forced into being assertive?

I think you are confusing assertive with aggressive. One should be assertive, otherwise the world will walk all over you. You should not be required to be aggressive though. It sounds like you were on the verge of heading into aggressive behavior toward the end, with the threat of dumping your trash somewhere on the property yourself if they didn't get it dealt with properly. Assertive is good, aggressive is sometimes a necessary evil.

 

[eastofeden]

I give people alot of rope....once they use it up...I am extremely "assertive"...like DON'T FUCK WITH ME assertive....

I used to tell the guys at work when they started to fuck with me..I don't bark...but I DO bite....

If I call a corporation..I try to call 2 or 3 or 4 different people..one of them will e a human on the other end..a human with a clue..and actually help you.

 

[Willie Boy]

When it gets to the "don't fuck with me that is far beyond assertive and is definitely aggressive. Though they may deserve it life might be easier if you stopped it sooner and simply stated your boundaries before they crossed them. That is being assertive in a nutshell.

 

[rareboy]

I hate having to make the effort to phone people up to get them to do the job i've paid them to do, life's too short.

Pretty much this.

I had to do it three times on Friday and wondered what the fuck was wrong with people.

 

[FPNY]

I don’t mind it all especially when I am paying for a service. If I’m paying and you’re not holding your end of the bargain you will know in no uncertain terms how I feel and what I want done to fix it. We’ve suddenly wound up with four houses to operate and I don’t have time to be hunting people down to do what I hired them to do. Do it or go...

 

[peeonme]

Pretty much this.

I had to do it three times on Friday and wondered what the fuck was wrong with people.

Thanks to all for your replies.
What RB says here sums it up for me, dealing with the reality that people see no connection between what they say and what they do.
If you say you will do it, then do it, if you can't at least have the decency to call and re-schedule.

 

[eastofeden]

When it gets to the "don't fuck with me that is far beyond assertive and is definitely aggressive. Though they may deserve it life might be easier if you stopped it sooner and simply stated your boundaries before they crossed them. That is being assertive in a nutshell.

Not in a bar. Assertive or Aggressive...the boundaries were already clear. Alot of people like to push other people's buttons on purpose...for fun or sport...and they push and they push. Responding to them each time gets them off....especially when you get a bitchy gay man who thinks he is Bette Davis reborn...or a bully. I warn them once to knock it off because I won't bark (which means going back and forth with them because THEY want to)....and bite means once you get me to that point...you won't like it.

I would mostly turn around..grab their drink and tell them to get out NOW and do not ever return. They would leave threatening me usually....but I wasn't afraid of them.

Maybe 1/4 of them eventually came back and apologized...and I was fine with and accepted the apology. I let it go. ...but I would still not bark but bite if they did it again.....

 

[Alistair]

Not in a bar. Assertive or Aggressive...the boundaries were already clear. Alot of people like to push other people's buttons on purpose...for fun or sport...and they push and they push. Responding to them each time gets them off....especially when you get a bitchy gay man who thinks he is Bette Davis reborn...or a bully. I warn them once to knock it off because I won't bark (which means going back and forth with them because THEY want to)....and bite means once you get me to that point...you won't like it.

I would mostly turn around..grab their drink and tell them to get out NOW and do not ever return. They would leave threatening me usually....but I wasn't afraid of them.

Maybe 1/4 of them eventually came back and apologized...and I was fine with and accepted the apology. I let it go. ...but I would still not bark but bite if they did it again.....

I've seen that a lot on here over the years.

 

[belamyi]

You do not have to be anything that you do not want to be... so they say

 

[eastofeden]

I've seen that a lot on here over the years.

The vibe here is actually very much like a gay bar....never thought of it before til now. Mostly the 6 PM to 9 PM crowd.

 

[belamyi]

The vibe here is actually very much like a gay bar....never thought of it before til now. Mostly the 6 PM to 9 PM crowd.

Which time zone..?

 

[eastofeden]

California PST