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I hate my boyfriend's dick.

Yeah, I say dump him too. But use the old, "It's not you. Honestly, it's me" line. Because really, it is you. I don't believe you are repulsed by his penis after three years. I think it's something else.
 
Please do NOT tell him the truth.
If he loves you, he perceives your opinion as the most valuable opinion and he is likely to has trust issues from then on...
(So yes, I'm also of the opinion you should break up with him, I mean, if after 3 years you haven't gotten over that..., but please please do not tell him why, make some good excuse)
 
Seasoned said:
Telling you what you could have done 3 years ago is pointless. So what to do now? How many options are there? It's an extremely finite number.

If there's any hope for staying, you could think back as to why you were attracted to him as a bf and why and how you overlooked it then.

I'd advise you to go with the "I'm not satisfied sexually" reason if you break up. Honesty without compassion is cruelty.
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Yeah i guess the best way would be to tell a truth but omitting the specific reason why, so that you won't actually be lying, and he won't get suspicious of your argument
 
I wouldn't call you shallow. Obviously, this is an issue for you and you're trying to decide what to do. If you don't see yourself being happy with him in the long run then you should end it. However, I don't know if you should tell him the reason why. As someone with a bent and meager penis I sympathize with him. If I was in a relationship of three years and my partner told me that my little guy was the reason we weren't working out I would be devastated. Does he suspect you feel this way at all or will this blindside him completely? I ask because it's very important you use tact in this situation.
 
Put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if he broke up with you and told you the reason was because he didn't like your dick. Was repulsed by it to the point he couldn't imagine being with you any more. After three years He just got to the point where it's a deal breaker. How would you feel? You'd feel he was lying and couldn't come up with a better reason. I kinda think that's what you're doing. There has to be a different reason and you've focused on his penis. I just find it hard to believe that after three years it comes down to this

Steven
 
I think you are the one that has the problem and for that, before you destroy what you call a perfect relationship, I would seek therapy and get to the root of your repulsion. He must be aware that there is some problem if you have resorted to such long pauses in sexual activity. He may need to join you in counselling. But I would not want to be responsible for causing undue hurt to someone I professed to love. And that is exactly what would happen by telling him about his penis. There is a trust that has built up throughout 3 years and hearing something like that could cause a mental scar for the rest of his life. Is that your love for him..... This is my opinion, and by not knowing either of you, it is hard to make any judgement calls and it is really not our business to do so. I wish the best for both of you and hope that the decisions you come to are ones of compassion and love.

Craiger
 
If you can't stand it, then you should end it immediately. Honestly, I feel sorry him and the years that will be lost. If you knew it bothered you, you should've ended it sooner. Just my opinion though. :(
 
I wonder how many of those who have advised you to dump him would give that advice if you said that after 3 years of a blissful relationship with a guy who is the love of your life, you can no longer stand the color of his skin?

Will you be happy with the man who has the perfect cock, but is not the love of your life and is less than everything to you?

BTW, I am not for one minute downplaying the importance of a happy, healthy sex life. But it takes more than a dick for a happy partnership.

Good luck.
 
a) Have you been saying "ewww" and faking a smile for 3 years?
b) Or has it begun bothering you more and more slowly as time passes?


If the answer is "a," please exit this relationship and don't date anyone for as much time as it took you to get into this mess.

If the answer is "b," it's not his dick that's the problem, so don't throw away a good relationship, when almost certainly his dick isn't really the issue that's bothering you, it's only the first thing to pick on when you haven't figured out what the real problem is yet.
 
I don't think he is the love of your life if his penis is really bothering you this much. Maybe I'm naive or a romantic, but if you really loved him how his dick looks shouldn't matter. I think that you might be using this as a way to rationalize your feelings for him,v that are caused by many other things about him (and you) that don't make you compatible. You may not even be consciously aware of why your feelings towards him are changing, and you may just be using his penis as a catch-all.

Do you think you would have the same feelings for him if he gained 50 pounds or what about 20 years down the road, would natural aging change your feelings for him? Is his dick the only superficial thing that would bother you? You really need to think about these things and find out if it is really just about his dick.

As for what to tell him, I don't think that is something that can be appropriately answered with just the info you've give. They say honesty is the best policy, but they also say ignorance is bliss. I can see that you telling him his dick is repulsive would really affect him badly, but maybe if he learns that is the reason his feelings for you might change and leave him better off. I honestly don't think it is just the dick, but if it truly is and you want to end it without him knowing the true reason, make sure that he is not going to find out through the grapevine.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope that you find the answers you need.
 
ricardomon said:
As for what to tell him, I don't think that is something that can be appropriately answered with just the info you've give. They say honesty is the best policy, but they also say ignorance is bliss. I can see that you telling him his dick is repulsive would really affect him badly, but maybe if he learns that is the reason his feelings for you might change and leave him better off. .
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THANK YOU! Finally someone else gets it. The truth doesn't just set you free...it sets the other person free as well. He should know who and what he is dealing with upfront so he can process it and move on. Lying to him to "spare his feelings" might keep him in a state of despair for years...he could end of pining away for this guy...never really knowing who he truly was. The truth could save him a lot of time.
 
Wow that sucks. I just don't see how you got so serious with him since you knew you didn't like his dick from the beginning. You're not wrong for not liking what you don't like. If you can't live with his dick then you should end it sooner rather than later I think.
 
eastofeden said:
THANK YOU! Finally someone else gets it. The truth doesn't just set you free...it sets the other person free as well. He should know who and what he is dealing with upfront so he can process it and move on. Lying to him to "spare his feelings" might keep him in a state of despair for years...he could end of pining away for this guy...never really knowing who he truly was. The truth could save him a lot of time.
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I'm glad that you are so confident that the truth is so necessary for you, however, some people do not have that same confidence. Being so explicitly truthful could cause him to have a psychological scar for the rest of his life. Never knowing whether those he might meet in the future would have the same opinion about his penis. Everyone is different in how they handle such truths and because of that, in my opinion, tact and diplomacy would be how to handle such a tender subject. The blunt truth does not always set a person free. It could cause them to recede into their shell. In might in turn set to OP free, but at the expense of devastating his partner.
 
Craiger said:
I'm glad that you are so confident that the truth is so necessary for you, however, some people do not have that same confidence. Being so explicitly truthful could cause him to have a psychological scar for the rest of his life. Never knowing whether those he might meet in the future would have the same opinion about his penis. Everyone is different in how they handle such truths and because of that, in my opinion, tact and diplomacy would be how to handle such a tender subject. The blunt truth does not always set a person free. It could cause them to recede into their shell. In might in turn set to OP free, but at the expense of devastating his partner.
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I would deeply resent it if someone else decided I was too fragile to handle the truth. For me...the "truth" and what someone else's opinion is tells me everything about that person...maybe little or even nothing about me. I think the guy should see clearly who and what he is dealing with.

Of course...you are right about the part where everyone is different and so maybe he can't handle it. I have no way of knowing. What I do know is more times than not in general conversation I find people overwhelmingly state that they would have rather heard the truth when looking back on situations.
 
eastofeden said:
Of course...you are right about the part where everyone is different and so maybe he can't handle it. I have no way of knowing. What I do know is more times than not in general conversation I find people overwhelmingly state that they would have rather heard the truth when looking back on situations.
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I agree with you for the most part, however, if it entail somethings as this, a "deformed" penis, or at least one perceived to be deformed, I fear that could effect his partner psychologically. In most cases, the truth is best, but again, I would be very tactful in presenting such a reason for destroying a 3 year relationship. Just my opinion.

Craiger
 
eastofeden said:
THANK YOU! Finally someone else gets it. The truth doesn't just set you free...it sets the other person free as well. He should know who and what he is dealing with upfront so he can process it and move on. Lying to him to "spare his feelings" might keep him in a state of despair for years...he could end of pining away for this guy...never really knowing who he truly was. The truth could save him a lot of time.
Click to expand...

While I mostly agree with you, i think "truth" in this case is rather subjective. Just because the OP thinks it's ugly doesn't make it fact. One doesn't need every dirty detail to get closure, he simply needs to know the love isn't there are he wishes to move on.
 
I agree that the OP should tell the absolute truth and he should start with himself. The truth is that he wants to have sex with someone other than his partner and is just trying to find a way to place the blame on something other than his wandering eye. This is the brutal truth he should tell his partner, not leave the partner feeling like he is grotesque and hideous.
 
breaking up with you BF because of his Dick? You probably should. Obviously there's no love there..
 
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