I hate that...

[Pushover]

So, I'm sitting here in the den chatting with a friend online, and I hear the TV in the next room where my mother and father are watching it. It was a commercial for that design show, Project Runway or something, and some of the contestants were talking and introducing their styles. There's some blatantly obvious gay guys that are going to be on the show, and some of them were the ones talking.

I just heard my father say "faggots" to the TV and I seriously almost punched the PC monitor (lots of pent up anger, yes, I know). I'm trying to be nice because my mother got home from surgery today and I'm not necessarily 'out' yet.

But, has anyone ever bit their tongue when they felt they really had to say something but thought better of it? I mean, have you ever REALLY REALLY had to say something but changed your mind because it would cause a big fight?

 

[woaini]

That word is not that serious to me... I would be fine.

 

[Pushover]

It's just the way he said it that irritates me. It sounded really offensive, and, to be honest, it kinda hurt.

 

[darcey]

It was meant to hurt (but not necessarily you). Yes, I think we have all heard words or phrases that are painful, but until you can afford to just walk away take Archie Bunker's advice & "stifle yourself". When you are able to just leave, you might say that insulting others isn't what your folks taught you & you are saddened that your dad made that statement. No need to be agressive, just say it quietly & say good-bye. Most parents do love their children & wouldn't willingly hurt us. Good luck, & I hope that you & your folks may be "on the same page" some day.

 

[G-Lexington]

They won't know they're being hurtful until they know. That's just the way it is.

Lex

 

[Pushover]

It's kind of like what Whoopee Goldberg said; words are meaningless until taken into context. The word itself doesn't mean anything to me, but it's just the way he said it that kind of hit home as to what kind of person he is.

They won't know they're being hurtful until they know. That's just the way it is.

Lex

I'm working on it, I really am.

your dad will definatley change his view on that word once you come out fully.
I hear snide remarks all the time, but if their so caught up and botherd in what im doing their lives must be so boring, thats how i view it. But no family members have ever used that word in an offensive way, even before i came out.

You don't know my father. He was raised in one of those 'good christian families' that ate steak and potatoes every night, his father held a steady job, and his mother was a stay-home wife that did what she was told. He's one of those republican conservative types. He's not going to change his views.

 

[backpacker]

I think most of us have been there at one time or another. Unless you are willing to challenge your father's views, you will just have to put up with it. You can challenge your father's views without coming out of the closet and it doesn't have to be a big confrontation. You could have easily yelled into the room "Dad, they are people just like you and me."

 

[chillyboi]

Daily
good luck pushover

 

[Pushover]

Yeah, I keep waiting for him so say something or have some conversation that I can slip the whole 'I'm gay' thing into without making a whole coming out production, which I really don't want or need right now.

 

[D-Base]

Since I came out 4 years ago or so the use of the word "faggot" at home almost disappeared ...

 

[star-warrior]

Yesterday, I took my mum into the doctor's surgery, and was waiting in the waiting room, and this old biddy was ranting. She was talking about Labour and how she hated Blair. She said, something on the line that "It's all them foreigners they've let into the country. They're getting good houses, and heres me worked for 30 years and all I have is a pension of £130 per week, I can't pay for 'owt. They shouldn't have wasted all that money on the Iraq war, that Blair, the bastard. They should be giving it to us instead of them foreigners. It's like what Enoch Powell said all them years ago, "Rivers of Blood". You got your Poles, those asians, muslims and what not...."

For those who don't know, Enoch Powell ranted about all the immigrants entering the UK in this infamous racist announcement in the Houses of Parliament.

The ironic thing was, her doctor was a muslim asian. As we were visibly non-white, she may have ranted for our benefit. The girl a few feet of me was smirking at her racist rant.

So, the moral of this tale is, even though they look like a white haired little old lady they were waiting for their skinhead thug of a grandchild that was built like a brick shithouse. You don't know if they'll retaliate or not. Occasionally, discretion is the better part of valour.

 

[Pushover]

Yesterday, I took my mum into the doctor's surgery, and was waiting in the waiting room, and this old biddy was ranting. She was talking about Labour and how she hated Blair. She said, something on the line that "It's all them foreigners they've let into the country. They're getting good houses, and heres me worked for 30 years and all I have is a pension of £130 per week, I can't pay for 'owt. They shouldn't have wasted all that money on the Iraq war, that Blair, the bastard. They should be giving it to us instead of them foreigners. It's like what Enoch Powell said all them years ago, "Rivers of Blood". You got your Poles, those asians, muslims and what not...."

For those who don't know, Enoch Powell ranted about all the immigrants entering the UK in this infamous racist announcement in the Houses of Parliament.

The ironic thing was, her doctor was a muslim asian. As we were visibly non-white, she may have ranted for our benefit. The girl a few feet of me was smirking at her racist rant.

So, the moral of this tale is, even though they look like a white haired little old lady they were waiting for their skinhead thug of a grandchild that was built like a brick shithouse. You don't know if they'll retaliate or not. Occasionally, discretion is the better part of valour.

Never confuse cowardice with wisdom, they say.

 

[star-warrior]

Never confuse cowardice with wisdom, they say.

I'm not sure how I ought to take that....

 

[Pushover]

I'm not sure how I ought to take that....

Cowardice can sometimes be interchanged with prudence. There's a time to speak up and there's a time to not speak at all. Just because you're not saying anything doesn't mean you have nothing to say, just it might not be a good time to say it.

Basically, I guess people can think that not speaking up for yourself or others is cowardly, when sometimes it's wise to keep your mouth shut.