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I hate weekends

M

me12121

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For the last 3 weekends since I've been at university, I've been so depressed during them. I hate being alone in my room all the time since I have no friends. I'm pretty sure the reason I get depressed because I hear people outside my window having fun and talking constantly and I wish I could have some fun with people too. But I had to be the painfully shy person who doesn't know what to say to anyone. I feel like I'm never going to get over this. At home there was no noise and I could just distract myself, so I was okay most of the time. I don't know what to do, I'm getting tired of this. But it has quieted down now so I'm going to see if I can read my economics textbook without worrying about other stuff again.
 
Dude, join a club or something. It doesn't have to be the out on campus club or anything. Just join the economics society, or a special interest club. Heck, I joined the Ukrainian Students' club at my university...Do I look Ukrainian to you? Mind you, I'm quite a social creature, but I wasn't always this way.

As for knowing what to say someone? That's easy... Start off with "hi." Say hi to everyone you see on your floor. And smile at them. Then, start saying "hey, what's up?" Then, next Wednesday innocently ask: "What's there to do for fun? Where does everyone go to hang out on Thursday night? I've just got settled in, and missed everything..." BTW- Octoberfest is coming up...Ziga, ziga, ziga, ziag oi oi oi! There are going to be TONNES of Waterloo students partaking in Kitchener's oktoberfest. Join them.
 
I know what it's like to be the shy lonely guy. Have you thought of doing some volunteer work? It's something to do, get's you out, and a great way to meet people. And, best of all you'll be giving back to your community. Give it a try my friend
 
Sounds like me, most of my life. It's still a problem I have; I go into a social situation, and don't fit in.
But it can be worked on; when someone approaches me, I'm no longer the omigodwhatdoidonow?! type; I have a response. How did I get there? Practice, and a lot of time sitting where people are being social, and listening to the sorts of replies others give.
 
Try going to the library to study when the dorm gets you down. After a while you may run into the same people there and get to know them.

The volunteer work and the organization ideas are great. Sure you're going to have some discomfort at first but you will relax once you get to know people.

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, me12121. I wish we could all come over there and keep you company. (*8*)
 
Or find a bar you like, with a quiet atmosphere before the evening takes off, where there's wireless, and hang out doing computer stuff. You might meet someone! I do that occasionally, and get by eating the free peanuts and nursing a single $4 drink for two or three hours.
 
Dude, being shy is what everyone's second nature.

Some of us managed to get the other nature come to fore, and the some have not gotten there yet.

There is net, too. With all its inherent pitfalls. So, try dating a bit.

Get going and join in. No one is really going to come knocking at your door and asking you to be his friend.

Nothing like taking the bull by the horn, no matter how scared you might be.

SC
 
Hey man, it's normal for people to feel lonely at uni - particularly at the beginning - but you have to take control yourself. Join a club or society, take a deep breath and just say 'hi' to someone when you meet them in a common area, bar, cafe. Volunteer - people are always looking for volunteers for charity work or whatever - drop in to the thrift shop closest to the uni and see if they want help. You'll see lots of students, and they'll respect you for giving something back to society. Campaign for something, animal rights, Aids, debt relief, join a group - political or apolitical. But most of all, get out of your room. It should be a place to sleep, chill out with friends (or yourself ;), but not a prison. Best of luck.
 
The best way to meet people at school, when you live in a dorm, is to just open your door. It's still early in the year. Soon enough, someone will stumble by and say hi. That could take a while though, so I would personally recommend just going out onto your floor, maybe theres a lounge or common room where some people are hangning out. Just drop in and introduce yourself. It's college. You're ALL in the same boat.
 
Good news is that there is hope for you!!! Your problem has a solution! (!)

Other users have already given useful advice that will surely get you new acquaintances and friends; join a club or interest group, go to your favorite bar/club, join a sports team nearby, even just saying hi to your neighbors or your classmates will help.

Now it is up to you to act on this advice. Go out there and have some fun buddy :wave:
 
Hey, I've been there too. Join something. I can't emphasize that enough. In a close second, keep your door open. If you're in a newer dorm, find something heavy to hold your door open. It's important for a door to not come between you and people walking down the hall if you're trying to get their attention.

Yeah, it's hard. I've been there. But if you leave your door open and join a club/organization or two, you'll be fine. And then you'll realize college is a blast.
 
And admit that you're shy. You will feel less "weird" if you do this. It will help you to relax with people as well.

Like "Oh, I'm just studying. Say, its kind of hard for me to talk to people. Guess I'm kind of shy. You ever feel like that?"

I find everything is easier for me if I just lay my issues out on the table. I can stop pretending and often others will then open up about themselves.
 
Hey, thanks for all the responses. Last night wasn't bad because I started working on my economics quiz which is due Monday and it was so challenging that it was all I thought about for 2 hours before finishing it and going to bed at 5:30am. I just woke up now lol.

So join a club, eh? Well I did go to the school's GLBT club last week and went again this week, but this week I felt so out of place. Everyone there is out of the closet except me and it seems pretty cliquey. But I'm hoping that during coming out week when they really promote the group, more first year's will join since there's only one other first year there right now. They seem to have a lot going on that week. I'm going to force myself to keep going there since it's easier to walk in after the first time and maybe I'll meet someone eventually. I thought about joining some other clubs, but don't even know what's available since the university sucks with anything related to the internet. I'm still waiting for them to put up the campus clubs website. It's been in construction for the last week.

I seem to have this problem of always caring what other people think of me. Like I think they're judging me. Even the act of leaving my door open will make me think, "They're probably judging me thinking why I've been so isolated for the last month and am opening my door all of a sudden." Even though they're probably not thinking that. And I know admitting I'm shy would make things so much easier and sometimes I want to but I don't remember the last time I admitted my feelings to anyone in person and there seems to be this huge wall blocking me.

Anyway, it's already almost 3:30pm so I gotta go take a shower and go get some lunch. Then I have 150 pages of stuff to read! And I have 2 tests worth 20% each next week. That's what happens when I procrastinate.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I forgot to add that our Don is starting to plan some events for our floor. I think we're going to the movies tonight to see Jackass and playing pool on Tuesday. I guess I'll go tonight even though I have a crapload of work to do, but not Pool on Tuesday since I have my first 20% test on Wednesday.
 
There you go! That's a great idea to go to a floor activity.

And I'm glad you're willing to hang in there with the GLBT group. Maybe you could give them some ideas to make it more relavent to you.

Hang in there me12121. We're still here for you! (*8*)
 
My first inclination is to say, "stop feeling so sorry for yourself". Stop expecting the world to be perfect. Stop waiting for everyone else to do something first (ex. introduce themselves; "waiting for THEM to put up the campus clubs' website"; etc.) Take charge. For god's sake, don't do economics on a Friday night. Watch some tv or play some Euchre in the lounge. Go swimming regularly. Attend the Golden Hawks' football game (even if you don't understand football -- I don't understand but I attended). Just get the hell out of your room.

You made it into university. So you must be a smart boy. You know what your problems are. So between yourself and the JUB guys, you should be able to come up with the solutions. Now just do it before you go mental. I don't want to hear that the next college shooter is at WLU 'cause I'll be in KW next weekend.

However, I'm afraid that if I say that, everyone will think I'm an ass. So I won't say it. Instead I'll say that one of the best ways to meet people is to ask them questions. Most people like talking about themselves. So give them an excuse to do so. What they say will lead you into talking about yourself. Bam. Before you know it, you're having a conversation. Just don't expect to get a best friend out of every conversation.
 
start small. say hi to the ppl on you floor, chances are, theyre bored as well. and join a club.
 
me12121 said:
So join a club, eh? Well I did go to the school's GLBT club last week and went again this week, but this week I felt so out of place. Everyone there is out of the closet except me and it seems pretty cliquey. But I'm hoping that during coming out week when they really promote the group, more first year's will join since there's only one other first year there right now. They seem to have a lot going on that week. I'm going to force myself to keep going there since it's easier to walk in after the first time and maybe I'll meet someone eventually. I thought about joining some other clubs, but don't even know what's available since the university sucks with anything related to the internet. I'm still waiting for them to put up the campus clubs website. It's been in construction for the last week.
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I felt very much the same when I went to Western's pride club social during the pride week last october. The only gay friends I ever made since then at school are a couple guys I talked to online. So I'd suggest once your pride club's website is up go to the message board and add a few guys on your msn and start from there. It's a lot easier and safer to meet guys from school in person than say, guys outside school.
 
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