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I have a crush on my martial arts instructor!

curboi321

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I started taking martial arts a few months ago and I met a guy I'll call Red the first day. He came up to me an greeted me personally which I thought was pretty nice. He looks like he's in his early 30's with a beefy body and a cute more than goodlooking face. I've noticed he's really nice, but awkwardly shy sometimes (like me). I'm not even going to fool myself into thinking he wants to be my boyfriend, but I've recently noticed a few things with him that I didn't really think about before, and though they probably mean nothing I just want to make sure.

Well, first of all when my first class started I noticed he only introduced himself to me, even though there was another new student in the class, and I haven't seen him do it since. Another weird thing was one week we were doing a move where you take an opponent down to the ground, and roll them around so you're on top of them. Now the instructors usually don't participate in showing us a move beyond the initial demonstration, and even though he said his neck and shoulder were bothering him earlier and he didn't want to do much work he had me perform the move on him, which again he didn't do with ANYONE ELSE???

Finally a few days ago, I had a question about a move where someone grabs you from behind and traps both of your arms in theirs, and he quickly asked me to show him, which I did :p and then he showed me how to get out of it. We talked for a little bit and he gave me a sort of awkward look like he wanted me to say something else to him so we could keep talking, but as I said before I'm socially awkward and I just told him thanks for showing me how to get out of the move and see ya later. ](*,)

Now I don't know if any of this stuff means anything, he could just be a really nice guy, but if he is interested in me I want to know. Should I ask him if he has a girlfriend or if he wants to hang out sometime out of class? I've never actually asked a guy out before, but I think he would be a good place to start, unless he says he's not interested. What should I do?
 
Seeing that this is an adult special interest course the protocol ought to be more relaxed unless the school has guidelines for their instructors. That being said, I'd ask him out for a beverage and a chat. In the meantime enjoy the class.
 
No, none of that means anything. You tell him you are gay and then you can interpret his reactions with some relevance.
 
I think you should respect any mentor, instructor, teacher relationship and view such important figures in your life as ones who are there to teach and impart knowledge. Stick to your peers when it comes to dating.
 
Hi Curboi321,

I have no idea about your age, and I don't have any idea if he knows that you are gay (or 'curious' like indicated in your profile). So your question is: "what should I do?" And you tell us:
I'm socially awkward; I'm shy; No one knows [so you are closeted], I've never actually asked a guy out before

Do you have experiences with -dating- girls? Right now, it's just him who is nice to you, and you, who might be a very nice guy.

'Its nice to be nice', but that does not mean that he might be gay, and that might also be his view of you.

Well, I tend to give you the advice to be more open about your own sexual orientation and to try and be less shy. Any reason why you don't want to come out of the closet?

How about your fellow students? Any idea if they have more background information about Red?

What's the 'status' of this 'course'? Is is connnected with work / study / uni, or just something you do in your free time?

Best wishes and good luck.
 
I used to do Martial Arts when I was 17/18 and had an instructor that looked something like Gerard Butler. Same age and kind of build and face. He had sons that he used to take to class with him so there was no doubt he was "straight". I did however, catch him looking at me more than once and when I caught him he would look quickly away. There was even one time I was fixing my gi and had my stomach and waist bare when I caught him eyeing me. Again he whipped his eyes from me when I noticed him.

Beyond that he never gave any indication that he was interested. I'd like to think he was but again I could have just been reading into something that wasn't there.

You're going to need more concrete signs from him if you're going to figure out whats going on.
 
I see no reason why you shouldn't ask him if he wanted to get something to eat after the lesson. You only live once.
 
Any updates.. would love to know if he was giving you ab workout tips and asked you to take off your shirt and you fucked on some hot wrestling mat lol!
 
Hey guys,

The past few days training with him have been pretty norm. Except for today when he had us practice a move where we are down on the ground and your legs are up in the air (insert joke here) :). My shorts were coming dangerously close to exposing my bat & balls, and I could swear he gave my crotch a quick glance as he walked by, but it could very well be my imagination.

I've been seriously thinking about asking him for a private lesson (which I do really need), and maybe then I can talk to him more one on one in private when everybody leaves.

Well see what happens...
 
Even if he were gay and interested in you it would be highly unethical of him to accept your invitation. It would undermind the professional relationship an instructor has with his student. I don't reccommend going through with this. Find a student your age who is gay.
 
What sort of class is this? If it is a class you are taking at your college or university, he would get in trouble for having a relationship with you. If you are just taking an evening class at a local martial arts academy and you are about his age then why not make friends and hang out some? It can't hurt. My understanding is that most instructors at martial arts schools are just advanced level students anyway so I doubt there would be a huge status barrier between you or anything.
 
What sort of class is this? If it is a class you are taking at your college or university, he would get in trouble for having a relationship with you. If you are just taking an evening class at a local martial arts academy and you are about his age then why not make friends and hang out some? It can't hurt. My understanding is that most instructors at martial arts schools are just advanced level students anyway so I doubt there would be a huge status barrier between you or anything.

I was thinking the same thing. If it's an extracurricular activity; it's fair game. Obviously, it wouldn't be cool if you were taking this for credit.

So, definitely, ask for a private lesson.
 
What sort of class is this? If it is a class you are taking at your college or university, he would get in trouble for having a relationship with you. If you are just taking an evening class at a local martial arts academy and you are about his age then why not make friends and hang out some? It can't hurt. My understanding is that most instructors at martial arts schools are just advanced level students anyway so I doubt there would be a huge status barrier between you or anything.

It is a local martial arts academy, and he is one of the students who is more advanced than us. He actually isn't that older than me (I'm 24), I'm guessing he's around 30yrs old but he could just be a young guy who looks older. He's still cute though lol.
 
It is a local martial arts academy, and he is one of the students who is more advanced than us. He actually isn't that older than me (I'm 24), I'm guessing he's around 30yrs old but he could just be a young guy who looks older. He's still cute though lol.

You definitely shouldn't feel awkward about asking him for a private lesson, or grab a drink after class. Go for it, or unless you already did! :)
 
I consider joining a martial arts class just to meet some nice guys. :D
 
I'm a second degree black belt and I think that I am the only gay student there. I haven't told anyone I'm gay because I think it's really not anyone's business unless they ask me.
 
What sort of class is this? If it is a class you are taking at your college or university, he would get in trouble for having a relationship with you. If you are just taking an evening class at a local martial arts academy and you are about his age then why not make friends and hang out some? It can't hurt. My understanding is that most instructors at martial arts schools are just advanced level students anyway so I doubt there would be a huge status barrier between you or anything.

My head instructor hangs out with other students and actually goes drinking with them.
 
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