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i have a good friend...

I'm not sure all of us would consider this a "strange turn of events". But it DOES still matter. Because as long as you're still his "friend", this may not be over. Please give a lot of thought to all your future dealings with him.

And you actually didn't waste our time. If nothing else, hopefully other people might read this thread, and perhaps see themselves in it.

Hope things look better soon.

Lex
 
Boys are both forceful in physical contact? Bahahahahhh!!! I would have laughed and said, "yeah, you wanna play swords?"

Ahem...

That is a tough statement to dissect. If it were merely physical contact, I'd be all for it. Let's wrestle in bed and get it on! Wrestling is HOT.

Anyhow, this guy wants his cake and to be able to eat it to. My feeling is that if he's not careful, he may end up swallowing his fork in the process.
 
ok... i had to search for this thread because i wrote it so long ago...

after this whole fiasco i was worried to death that mike and i would never be friends again. but actually, nothing at all changed and we still hung out all the time and talked and stuff like it never happened. we go to school like 8 hours apart so we don't do much talking while we're away but when we're home it's been fine.

so a couple days ago i came home for thanksgiving break. that night, his girlfriend (and my friend) threw a party at her house and tons of people were there. while we were hanging out mike and i decided to go out on the back porch and have a cigarette. no one knew where we went and we were gone for like 20 minutes, and he ended up telling me how he had been thinking about all this and he really wants to hook up with me again, but his girlfriend is holding him back.

we ended up making out on his fucking girlfriend's back porch while she was trying to find out where we had snuck off too. i feel like a terrible person but i really can't help being attracted to him (and i don't think he can help it either). we just really get each other and hang out all the time. we are best friends and feel similarly about everything and just fit really well together. i really think he is very confused and feels "comfortable" with her rather than exploring this other side of himself. any ideas?
 
This is what I affectionally call "A Can of Flesh-eating Worms" and no good will come of it.

You've kicked the hornet's nest enough and it's eventually going to explode in your face.

(I think I'm using too many metaphors here, but it's late and I'm not all flowery with the words right now.)

Tell him that you're not his little sex toy and that it's just not fair for him to play with you like this. If he's got issues he needs to explore them in a way that doesn't include using you for covert sex. You're there as a friend, not as a way to have exciting secret make-out sessions on his girlfriend's porch.

This is headed down a VERY dangerous road and you know it.
 
This is headed down a VERY dangerous road and you know it.
Click to expand...

Has car wreck written all over it.

Cheating is cheating is cheating. You don't want part of that. Tell your bud that when he breaks up with his girl and is ready to admit he's gay, maybe then you'll be ready to fuck him.
 
I can say from my own experience, I was in your friend's shoes once - and when in a similar situation, I chose to stick it out with my girlfriend only to grow to resent her for "holding me back". The resentment I felt, and the hurt and drama that followed, could have all been avoided if I were only honest with myself earlier in life.

I don't know the dynamics of your love triangle (which is what it's become, imo) but I really think your friend should come clean with his girlfriend. The longer he waits and feels that she's "holding him back", the more he'll grow to resent her - which will only lead to disaster.

You've received lots of good advice for yourself - and I agree with those who say that you should tell your friend "no more sex, until you're honest with yourself and those that love you". It won't be easy for you, but it's the right thing to do and I think you'll feel better about it in the long run.
 
sartj7 said:
i really think he is very confused and feels "comfortable" with her rather than exploring this other side of himself. any ideas?
Click to expand...

UM - He's not the only one who's got issues here! If you care enough about everyone involved, stop thinking about yourself.

This is a train wreck waiting to happen, and you're not only placing your friendship with his girlfriend in jeopardy, but also the friendship with your friend. Who do you think is ultimately get blamed for a potential break-up? Guilt and resentment, everyone's favorite emotions, are going to build until the breaking point happens.

Remember that whatever consequences happen - you did it to yourselves. The only way that this can work is if he's no longer with his girlfriend.
 
TNGayGolfer said:
I can say from my own experience, I was in your friend's shoes once - and when in a similar situation, I chose to stick it out with my girlfriend only to grow to resent her for "holding me back". The resentment I felt, and the hurt and drama that followed, could have all been avoided if I were only honest with myself earlier in life.

I don't know the dynamics of your love triangle (which is what it's become, imo) but I really think your friend should come clean with his girlfriend. The longer he waits and feels that she's "holding him back", the more he'll grow to resent her - which will only lead to disaster.

You've received lots of good advice for yourself - and I agree with those who say that you should tell your friend "no more sex, until you're honest with yourself and those that love you". It won't be easy for you, but it's the right thing to do and I think you'll feel better about it in the long run.
Click to expand...

excelent advice!..|:=D:
 
ok so last night we were at my friend's house and everyone got wasted. as the night went on i obviously got way too drunk and started being obnoxious (i swore to myself that i would NOT bring up the issue again with him). and then of course i did, and told him he should sleep over at my house in the basement. he said he wanted to and told his girlfriend to sleep at her friend's house instead of his, and then she slapped him like 5 times and swore at him and told him he was an asshole.

i felt the rest of the night feeling guilty (deservedly) and me and him went our separate ways at the end of the night. she woke up this morning and called me asking me what she said last night or did to him to make him not want to talk to her. i told her i didn't remember and wasn't in the room when she hit him (she was really tanked last night).

I. CAN'T. HELP. MYSELF. me and him just fit so well together! she puts him on this fucking ball and chain and expects him to pay attention to only her when they are at home and at school, even though she flirts with other guys all the time and flaunts her fucking tits around like it's her job. she's really two-faced and i'm getting sick of it. i know how he feels. i know he feels repressed and unable to communicate. i hate it and i can't do anything about it. he's my best friend and i care about him more than anything in the world and i know that i'm eventually going to hurt him, but i really am in love with him. how can i stop myself?

:-(
 
at this point i know i'm whining. i know you have all given me the same advice -STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING - but i just want to know, have any of you ever been truly in love with your best friend and couldn't do anything about it? he basically has told me he feels the same way.

his girlfriend is a great person. she's smart and really fun to be around, but there is just this other side of her that has been oozing out of her. she makes out with guys while she's at school, and while she's home and we're at parties she ignores him the entire time until she wants to go home with him for her fuck session. she literally was straddling one of my other friends the other night at a party right in front of him, as well as in front of the kid's girlfriend. she gets drunk and acts like a twat. i just feel like, if she's going to be completely obnoxious like that and act like a slut, why am i supposed to feel guilty about what i'm doing?

sometimes i feel like i'm going fucking crazy. he's my best friend in the entire world and everything i would ever want in a guy. and his girlfriend is just disappointing me more and more everyday because i know she doesn't treat him the way i would.
 
The bitch is a bitch.

Your friend needs to grow some balls, and you do too!

Slap the bitch, take the boy.

Suck cock, let him suck yours.

No more cunt.

End.
 
Sure - you're in love with him, and maybe he's in love with you, HOWEVER, he still has a girlfriend.

That's where it all goes wrong - HE has to make the choice to dump her (or not). The ball's in his court, and it's not her fault - regardless of how horrific she is!
 
Open up. Ask him to be who he is. And be who you are... then maybe you can be together. But honesty is important.

At the same time, be gentle with her. Tell her what she wants to hear.
 
I should probably make a new thread for this as this is becoming a long, drawn out saga, but regardless...

ok so whoever didn't read this before, basically what has happened is that my best friend and i started hooking up, even though his girlfriend of four years is one of my good friends. fucked up yes, but i couldn't help myself. it ended at the end of the summer, but started again over thanksgiving (his girlfriend can be a bitch). call me an asshole, whatever.

while i was back at school after thanksgiving, he called/texted me all the time and we talked constantly about hooking up again and whether or not he was sure about it. i got home 5 days ago, and i was talking to one of my friends who told me an interesting story. during thanksgiving break, my friend rachel had a friend visit from school and stay with her over break. one night we were at my friend's house at a party and her, her friend, mike and i walked to her house to hang out afterward. while me and rachel were in the room, they began hooking up, and ended up doing everything but having sex. rachel was really pissed that her friend from school, who was a guest, did this to her.

what rachel told me made me realize that he doesn't really care about anyone but himself. he's a completely selfish person and it makes me really irritated.

he got home yesterday and i made a promise to myself that nothing would happen between us while we're home together. i've been hanging out with him like usual, and things are fine between us (i'm not supposed to know about his episode with rachel's friend). but it's just those little times, for example, when he took me home just now and we were alone in his car, i wanted to jump all over him and grab him and kiss him. i'm honestly exerting extreme willpower here already and he's been home for about a day. i want to make it through break without disappointing myself by caving in, but i don't know if i can resist? should i tell him i know about him and rachel's friend? should i tell him what i really think of him? or should i just ignore the whole issue? i honestly don't know if i'll be able to make it through break without doing this with him, but i'm really going to try. any advice would be nice.
 
question is is rachels friends a guy ?

i assume he is. If rachel's friend is a guy ill give you the same advice i give anyone it may hurt like hell but you gotta start messing with him right now. Tell him their is a guy in school you really like and you and this guy have a great relationship you know make it seem as if your not so in love with him.Dont let him see you fall for him because he'll play you.Just see how he reacts to news that you are interested in someone else. If he really loved you he would react. What i mean react is do something that is not usual for him.Just keep your eyes open dont fall asleep with an "i love you" play the game sometimes is fun and it gets you ready for any other people trying to play you.

honestly try to find reasons to make him not want you anymore so ya can be friends to the end literaly
 
rachel's friend is a girl (he was obviously trying to reassert his heterosexuality after being persuaded to hook up with me).
 
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