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I have issues with the word "gay"

M4P

M4P

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Like everything else in life we must get over or accept - give it time. I'm sure as you become more comfortable with the fact you're "gay" you'll accept the term as well

I also see nothing wrong with what you're say now: I like men
 
There is no need to use the word gay or any other word that means the same. Don't stress out.
 
You'll get used to it in time. You're coming out to people and that's a huge, important step, no matter which words with which you choose to do it. Just don't start making up words like g0y...
 
If you're coming out to somebody, don't beat around the bush. "I like men" is confusing -- "I'm gay" isn't. And I think everybody knows the difference between "I'm a gay man" and "that shirt is so gay."
 
The only thing you can really do is start owning the word. Back in the 80s, the epithet of choice against gay men was "queer." Then Queer Nation started up and put everyone--GLBT and straight alike--on edge because of their use of the word. But eventually it became one of the descriptors of choice for the GLBT community.

Just realize the word "gay" is an adjective like any other and strip it of its power to hurt, confuse or demean you. Associate it with positive emotions/thoughts and you'll get there over time.

Good luck!
 
I think it is normal to not like calling yourself gay, after all, all is part of the proccess of coming out to yourself and others, and accepting yourself and your sexuality. Even though most people accept their sexuality quite some time before coming out to anyone else, some other people don't, and that was infact my case. I consider myself bisexual, but I couldn't accept it properly (as in being in peace with that fact) before having told my best friend. Infact, it was the huge depression and anxiety the pure thought about the subject gave me what made me come out to my best friend, it wasn't planned or anything, just a ceirtain afternoon I was in classes and suddenly "the subject" popped into my head, and of sudden my mood switched from happy and funny to horribly depressing and anxious. After a couple minutes, I simply said to myself "That's it, I need somebody to talk this over with, or otherwise it'll eat me up. I'm telling <my friend> tonight". And so I did, and amazingly enough it was telling him and later another couple friends and a cousin what made me get quiet about it, I don't mind thinking I'm bisexual or even telling it to the people who knows already, I'm ok with the fact, and if anyone else is not okay, it is their problem. Even when im only out to a couple people :p
 
Try saying it the next time it comes up and put a little boost of confidence ebhind it when you do. If you make it your own long enough, it will lose its negative stigma and truly become as affirming as you make it.
 
I'd say, nothing to worry about. I am always sparingly using the word, too.

To me, 'gay' is more of a lifestyle than of a sexual orientation alone.

Do, whatever makes you feel alright.

SC
 
Saying 'I like guys' or 'I like men' sounds like a great way to convey the same thought as by saying 'I am gay'.

The first time I said any such thing to a friend (aside from guys I'd picked up for sex), was this: I've come to realize that I have an attraction for men.

This was to my best friend, I never did say I was gay. I put it exactly as ^.

My friend took it just fine. Turned out he like guys too. Although we never did have a sexual relationship with each other he was the best friend I'd ever had in my life.
 
You'll start to get use to it, I was the same way. There's nothing wrong with what you're saying now. I like men=gay, same thing. ..|
 
I even can't say gay when I'm just referring to somebody acting stupid around my straight friends.
 
I think you're right on target when you relate your cringing over 'gay' to its use as a homophobic slur when you were at school.

Wear a rainbow badge or a pink triangle.
 
The word gay is a lot better than the term fag. Reason is because the first word doesn't have the intent to cause harm. Usually it's a matter of context in which another expresses the word gay for it to hurtful. The word fag is used for the purpose of lashing out, degrading, and harming a person for which the word has been applied. It's slang.

I would suggest taking what you've considered and factoring, in your mind, worse options that could be applied. It doesn't seem so bad.
 
I also dont like the word gay. I went to a boys school and its a word that guys use to insult other str8 guys. When they use it on me, i feel like they werent really understanding the impact of the word. It kindof made me associate my lifestyle with all that was bad. I know i shouldnt think that way...its really bad that i should think like that. But since i started university, all this gay nonsense has stopped, ppl are more mature and i have had thoughts about coming out to a few ppl. I dont know which words i will use then. But im thinking of something other that im gay.
 
Weirdly enough, I find it awkward for such a strange reason. I hate the sound of the word. It sounds like it should be said in a camp accent, and frankly I'm not flamboyant enough to be camp. I can hardly lisp!

I don't know if its because of the connotations that make gay such a camp word when spoken aloud. After all, lisp is hard to say without lisping, and dyslexia is hard to spell ;) Ok, maybe not the same as the last one, but hey.

Gay feels like it should be said Ghey! while doing jazz hands. Is it just me who gets this feeling?

I'm guessing it's the same as what you get, Jareth. I'm not sure about the subconscious undertones, since I've encountered very little homophobia, whether casually using Gay as an insult, or active hatred of homosexuals, and I still get the feeling.
 
I think that the younger guys here would find that the word gay replaced poofs and fags as the standard insult or slag off in the school grounds. Its a word that has numerous meanings and so its a word that is hard to ban or prohibit where as faggot or poof pretty much rips ones guts out.

Still...it doesnt change the hurt that becomes associated with the word when its thrown around in a demeaning and hurtful way. Any word hurts when its been used against you and is meant to insult or belittle you.

Deal with it anyway you can Jareth and you other guys. It'll take some time to see it as a better option than some of the other words that got thrown around for you guys. How you see yourself, describe yourself and value yourselves is much more important.

Dont ever let one word define you...no matter what it is. You're much more than that.
 
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