I have issues

[TaigaStar]

I realize people have said "you are young and just trying to find yourself"...I disagree. You know who you are and what you want.

I respect your opinion, but I wish to offer you my perspective and explain why I am not in agreement. From personal experience, it took me until I was 26 to come to understand and accept my bisexuality (and even then, it was my wife that was, and still is, helping me sort it all out) and at 28 I'm still trying to work out what I want from my life. At least in my experience, I had to work through everything I'd been taught in life and learn to overcome everybody else's views on what I was. I had to sort through a lifetime of religious belief, social prejudice, family prejudice, and self-isolation and rearrange the pieces into something more coherent than "it's your life, so do this and that and you'll be happy" (which was actually a major reason I was always unhappy).

Looking back, especially upon my earlier days here on JUB, there were a lot of people who were very helpful, and an equal amount of people who felt I should "just admit the truth" to myself. But, really, when you have people telling you "you're bi, and that's final," and having others say "you're clearly gay as bisexuality is only a way of denying it," what would one define as truth? Simply telling someone "just admit that you are [blank]," is pretty much telling them "conform to what I think you are," which only adds to the problem. In the end, the real support came from the people who said it didn't matter what I called myself as long as I was happy associating myself with it. Self discovery needs to take place at an individual's own pace, regardless of whether the world is already aware of the outcome.

 

[spencer]

Here is my question. If you do find one of the few women you're attracted to and marry them, how on earth are you going to keep yourself from falling in love with the majority of men you are still going to be attracted to?

Just because you may find a woman you're attracted to, the numbers game and all the sexual fantasies you have going on in your head is gonna override what you and that woman have. Or do you think she will be the one to conquer all.

If that's the case, the only way to increase your chances of meeting Mrs. Right is to date A LOT. Try online dating.

If I were you, I'd persue both, sleep with both. You're not seeing women as sex objects anymore like you do men. Sleeping with them would help you find out. And sleeping with women would help you get over your friend vibe thing.