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I have no clue what to do :/

T

tylerhart

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There's this officemate who seems to be into me and we even did one BJ session when i "unwittingly" visited his apartment before. However, he might want something more but I dont even know what I want to get out of this situation.

Here are some points
1. He's 8 years younger than me and whenever he uses our country's conversational honorifics for older people it just makes me feel like there's a wall between us even tho its unintentional (probably?)

2. We barely have anything in common. When we are together the only thing we talk about is work, stuff we are doing and maybe some gym related tips. I always struggle to think about what to talk to him about and sometimes i find it really boring to just be with him. We have our love for singing as common interest but our levels are really different since he's a professional singer while i barely even know if im getting my note out correctly.

3. He likes to do some occasional sweet gestures (he kissed my arm once, put his arms around my waist when we were alone etc.). I couldnt bring myself to do things like that since I have no romantic bone or experience (never had a bf). It just makes me really uncomfortable even tho im not really against it (is that odd?)

4. I didn't invite him to my upcoming bday party with close officemates (he's not part of my posse). My excuse was that he will just feel out of place among my closer friends but im also worried that he will do something that will out us both.

TLDR: Guy likes me but i dont really know what to do about it. Am I playing with his feelings by not dumping him this early?

I dont want to dump him tho since I dont even know what im feeling yet and im sure he's a good guy but we dont have anything in common. Plus I never had a BF so I dont know
 
Well I say start by telling him what you're telling us. If he can't handle your honesty about who you are or what you feel he's not the one. There's nothing wrong with slowing things down in order to figure out your feelings..people do it all the time. Bounce this off of him and see how he reacts just to be fair.
 
Honesty is the best policy. Just be gentle.

If the situation arises where history may repeat itself, just explain that you're much older than he is, you work at the same company and that you think that he would be better off with someone that he would be able to have a romantic involvement with.
 
It's time to explain that you'd rather be friendly rather than romantic
 
`

Seems like you should be sharing with him what you shared here.
Maybe first though, you should find out what he wants.... might be more similar than you think.
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He is a younger guy who likes you and wants more. I suggest you try to get over your hangups and enjoy the relationship. Stop pushing him away and try thinking about how you can make him happy. Since you are both gay you must have more in common than you think. Try talking about guys and the many things that gays have in common.
 
Despite this straight people's view of us, that you are perpetuating here, gay people are actually as diverse as the groups they come from. If being gay was enough of a common ground, we'd all be in relationships.
 
Be honest and talk about your feelings and his.

You don't have to push him away just yet, but make your ambiguous feeling about the whole situation clear. You're safe as long as you're prepared to tell each other the truth.
 
Having nothing in common is an opportunity to learn something new, not only about him, but maybe about yourself as well.
 
Benvolio said:
He is a younger guy who likes you and wants more. I suggest you try to get over your hangups and enjoy the relationship. Stop pushing him away and try thinking about how you can make him happy. Since you are both gay you must have more in common than you think. Try talking about guys and the many things that gays have in common.
Click to expand...

I agree. Stop putting stumbling blocks to a prospective relationship. Enjoy it for what it is and embrace it. Go out with him. Get to know him. If it develops into a relationship then good. If not, move on.
 
I don't think that benvolio meant all gay guys acted the same. I think he meant that at some level we all usually have similar experiences, such as coming out, hiding your sexuality, taste in guys, gay politics, etc.

You don't have to have much in common, just ask about his life, what does he have going on right now, what was his past like, what are his hobbies, what he does for fun, and let him ask questions too don't be afraid to talk about yourself and present yourself in a good light. Find out more about him other than what you know.
 
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