I just fucked up.

[Kennylingus]

So there's this guy that I know that when we first me each other we developed kind of a love-hate relationship. Meaning we would be kind of dickhead's to each other, but it didn't really mean anything because we we're still friends...it was just the way we related to each other. And like maybe a month or so ago I started having feelings for him so I ended up getting him really drunk and sleeping with him and I tried to make it as least akward as I could the next day and I ended up telling him how I was feeling. He was kind of a dickhead about it, but he ended up spending the rest of the day and we had sex two more times under sober circumstances.
After that I didn't see or talk to him for a few weeks because he was never around so I just figured he wasn't interested so I've been sleeping with other people and today I had one of my ex's over and of course that's when he decides to show up and he acted like it was no big deal, but after he left I got a call from my friend Kally telling me that he was really upset.

Do you guys think there's anyway I can fix this and if so, how?

 

[CtBoyWonder]

So there's this guy that I know that when we first me each other we developed kind of a love-hate relationship. Meaning we would be kind of dickhead's to each other, but it didn't really mean anything because we we're still friends...it was just the way we related to each other. And like maybe a month or so ago I started having feelings for him so I ended up getting him really drunk and sleeping with him and I tried to make it as least akward as I could the next day and I ended up telling him how I was feeling. He was kind of a dickhead about it, but he ended up spending the rest of the day and we had sex two more times under sober circumstances.
After that I didn't see or talk to him for a few weeks because he was never around so I just figured he wasn't interested so I've been sleeping with other people and today I had one of my ex's over and of course that's when he decides to show up and he acted like it was no big deal, but after he left I got a call from my friend Kally telling me that he was really upset.

Do you guys think there's anyway I can fix this and if so, how?

Other than getting him drunk. But I assume you were drinking also. Then it's ok.
I don't think you did anything wrong, or have anything to fix. What you described
is all part of "the game" now that you have the information that he's upset that
you slept with someone and he showed up in the middle of it all. Means the ball
is now in your court. All you have to do is ask him out. It's all part of the game.
and nothing to worry about. Just go with the flow.

 

[StlKj]

So there's this guy that I know that when we first me each other we developed kind of a love-hate relationship. Meaning we would be kind of dickhead's to each other, but it didn't really mean anything because we we're still friends...it was just the way we related to each other. And like maybe a month or so ago I started having feelings for him so I ended up getting him really drunk and sleeping with him and I tried to make it as least akward as I could the next day and I ended up telling him how I was feeling. He was kind of a dickhead about it, but he ended up spending the rest of the day and we had sex two more times under sober circumstances.
After that I didn't see or talk to him for a few weeks because he was never around so I just figured he wasn't interested so I've been sleeping with other people and today I had one of my ex's over and of course that's when he decides to show up and he acted like it was no big deal, but after he left I got a call from my friend Kally telling me that he was really upset.

Do you guys think there's anyway I can fix this and if so, how?

The only way to potentially fix it is to communicate with him, K. Ask him how he feels. See if there is anything here that can be salvaged.

And then, from now on, be honest from the very beginning.

 

[Kennylingus]

Other than getting him drunk. But I assume you were drinking also. Then it's ok.
I don't think you did anything wrong, or have anything to fix. What you described
is all part of "the game" now that you have the information that he's upset that
you slept with someone and he showed up in the middle of it all. Means the ball
is now in your court. All you have to do is ask him out. It's all part of the game.
and nothing to worry about. Just go with the flow.

I just want him to know that I would have rather been with him though without actually having to tell him...

 

[StlKj]

I just want him to know that I would have rather been with him though without actually having to tell him...

No, certainly don't tell him you would rather it had been him. That won't come out right at all, and there's no way it can.

You already told him once how you felt, but how does he feel? It's time to ask him, and then listen to him. If he's upset, according to your friend, then stop thinking about your feelings here, and ask him about his.

 

[Kennylingus]

The only way to potentially fix it is to communicate with him, K. Ask him how he feels. See if there is anything here that can be salvaged.

And then, from now on, be honest from the very beginning.

I know that's the adult way to handle it...but we're jerks to each other, we always have been. I'm afraid of putting myself out there and have him be an asshole just because that's what we're used to...

 

[Kennylingus]

No, certainly don't tell him you would rather it had been him. That won't come out right at all, and there's no way it can.

You already told him once how you felt, but how does he feel? It's time to ask him, and then listen to him. If he's upset, according to your friend, then stop thinking about your feelings here, and ask him about his.

I really really want to, it's just weird...it's not how we relate at all and I'm not sure what he'll say....it's a little scary.

 

[StlKj]

I know that's the adult way to handle it...but we're jerks to each other, we always have been. I'm afraid of putting myself out there and have him be an asshole just because that's what we're used to...

Sweetie, you've already put your feelings out there and made yourself vulnerable. Now he's been vulnerable and is apparently hurting. Maybe if you just acknowledged with him that you've both been dicks to each other, but that you really want to not be that way anymore because he's important to you.

Yes, it makes you vulnerable, and yes, he might be an ass if you are. But you're already hurting from all the posturing and hiding that's going on, so is it worth it to you to take the risk? He came to see you, and now he's upset. Doesn't that mean something about how he feels?

Do what you feel comfortable with, of course.

 

[Willie Boy]

First off, the OP is not blaming the other guy for anything.

Secondly, this is a no flame zone, so back off.

First off, I wasn't flaming so you back off.

Secondly

so I ended up getting him really drunk and sleeping with him and I tried to make it as least akward as I could the next day and I ended up telling him how I was feeling. He was kind of a dickhead about it

is blaming the other person.

Who said anything about rape? I got drunk with him...there's a BIG difference so you're either a moron or a prick...I wonder which one.

You got him drunk, then slept with him. That takes away his choice in the matter. That is rape. You also drinking does not change the fact of rape, you took advantage of him plain and simple and are lucky he didn't press charges. You just needed the alcohol to assuage the guilt you were feeling.

Forgives me for what? If gay guys had to apologize for every drunken hook up then that's all we would do.

But this wasn't a "hook-up". You made sure he was drunk to take away the potential for him to say no. Then while he was coming to terms with the situation and forgiving you and also deciding to forgive you and have a relationship with you, you chose to throw him away (after getting what you wanted out of it) and hop into bed with others. You treated him like a cheap whore and don't see anything wrong with that?

I didn't say and didn't mean to imply that it was his fault at all.

Thanks for using quotation marks...I don't think I would have been able to pick up on your sarcasm without them.

Well you did imply it. And you most likely wouldn't have gotten the "sarcasm"

Honey...I wouldn't act like this with you....because from 90 seconds on the internet I'm already annoyed to death with you so it's not an issue.

Sorry to hear that someone standing up and calling your behavior what it is annoys you. Good luck finding someone to spend your life with. Or are you the shallow type who wants nothing more than a body for the night?

 

[racer2438]

So there's this guy that I know that when we first me each other we developed kind of a love-hate relationship. Meaning we would be kind of dickhead's to each other, but it didn't really mean anything because we we're still friends...it was just the way we related to each other. And like maybe a month or so ago I started having feelings for him so I ended up getting him really drunk and sleeping with him and I tried to make it as least akward as I could the next day and I ended up telling him how I was feeling. He was kind of a dickhead about it, but he ended up spending the rest of the day and we had sex two more times under sober circumstances.
After that I didn't see or talk to him for a few weeks because he was never around so I just figured he wasn't interested so I've been sleeping with other people and today I had one of my ex's over and of course that's when he decides to show up and he acted like it was no big deal, but after he left I got a call from my friend Kally telling me that he was really upset.

Do you guys think there's anyway I can fix this and if so, how?

He must have liked and or wanted more but when he saw you w/the ex, he thought he lost out. Or he thought he were sleeping around and he did not like it, that maybe he felt used. Or he wanted more but got upset w/ex there and he did not know how to handle it and got jealous. So just ask him what he is feeling and wants and see if it will work out...

 

[StlKj]

First off, I wasn't flaming so you back off.

Yes, Willie, you were. Name calling is not allowed in this forum, and your advocating of violence and even death were over the line. That would be why you were scrubbed before.

However, you are right. The use of alcohol to get someone drunk and take advantage of them is way over the line. Getting drunk with him doesn't wash that away--it was still calculated and manipulative.

Kenny, you two are better off without each other if that is how your relationship plays. Willie is right in that you did something wrong here, and you need to ask yourself if you're really okay with playing someone like that, especially if you say you have feelings for him.

 

[ronnie54321]

Just call the dude hook up and git it ON "already" Good luck buddy "life is short"

 

[CtBoyWonder]

I just want him to know that I would have rather been with him though without actually having to tell him...

You have to talk to him. If you start a relationship with communication from
the beginning. It will be easier in the long run. How many relationships gay
and straight have ineffective communication? They are not real solid. You're
a big boy, just talk to him. Forget about the closet issues. You will feel
better in the end, and maybe get the man you were meant for.

 

[Nomenclature]

Do you guys think there's anyway I can fix this and if so, how?

Stop being assholes to each other.

 

[texan_slant]

Agreed with the last poster;

Communicate, and stop being assholes to each other, cuz it's not healthy for any kind of friendship/relationship.

 

[rareboy]

So he disappears for a few weeks without a word and then is pissed off because you have someone else at your place?

Tell him to get the fuck over it. He doesn't own you.

And like several have said, both of you need to stop behaving like dickheads.