ebluue
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A-men!
My first crush was an Asian guy back in highschool, he was a total jock! I Saw him again a few months back, he gained a lot of weight and lost his good looks
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I just want a white boyfriend.
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A-men!
My first crush was an Asian guy back in highschool, he was a total jock! I Saw him again a few months back, he gained a lot of weight and lost his good looks
TX-Beau
FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE!
LOL, I used to perv on this baseball jock back in high school - total stud, I saw him at our last reunion, looking a decade older than me, full on into breeder spread.
So disappointing. People should not be allowed to destroy my fond memories.
So disappointing. People should not be allowed to destroy my fond memories.
Rolyo85
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Hating the missed roofie opportunity, eh? 
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Am I the only one who finds this overtly racist and offensive? Couldn't this person use less offensive words to describe his lack of attraction to that race of people? Or am I being overly sensitive? I'm not East European btw.
Rolyo85
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You are being overly sensitive, and I am entitled to use whatever words I feel like about this particular group, being part of it myself.
FuryOfFirestorm
Suck my dick, Scalia!
I've very rarely found myself attracted to guys that aren't white or hispanic.
If you're not turned on by asians, that doesn't make you a racist. However, if you're not into asians because you think "they all have tiny dicks and can't drive", then you're a goddamn racist.
Think about it this way: As a gay man, I'm not attracted to women at all. Does that mean i'm a misogynist?
If you're not turned on by asians, that doesn't make you a racist. However, if you're not into asians because you think "they all have tiny dicks and can't drive", then you're a goddamn racist.
Think about it this way: As a gay man, I'm not attracted to women at all. Does that mean i'm a misogynist?
TX-Beau
FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE!
There are a whole lot of gay misogynists but that’s neither here nor there.
I was trying to stay out of this one, but, oh well, here goes.
It’s foolish to think that racial stereotyping and attitudes don’t affect what we find attractive. Being gay makes you attracted to men on a biological level, no one is biologically attracted to an imposed social construct like what we call “race.”
The comparison with women isn’t valid.
Biologically speaking humans are incredibly homogeneous genetically, there just aren’t all that many mutations one population to another – we are all incredibly alike in our DNA, more so than a whole lot of other species. So what is “race.”
The spawn of Eugenics that’s what. “white,” is a bogus designation that we take to mean generally northern European but can’t be nailed down in any remotely specific way. “Latino,” Could be anything from white Mexicans to Black Brazilians, “Hispanic” is even more vague. “Asian” is anyone from Asia forget that Malaysians are nothing like Mongolians and calling them both the same “race” is truly useless.
Then we get to “black,” which is where the meat of this is, at least in the United States. Black has a whole history of negative stereotyping attached to it, far more than any other designation. White has been traditionally held up as the normative standard for everything from beauty to competence.
It’s just being willfully blind to think that these things are not internalized to varying degrees and affect our choice of partners.
In fact I know that to be true. Because of my own life, in which I spent a lot of time saying that I wasn’t a bigot I just wasn’t attracted to black guys, and that’s all.
Well, I wasn’t a bigot, but I was prejudiced, and those are not the same things. WHY is the question people don’t like to ask when confronted with this. WHY was I not attracted to black guys?
Because somewhere in my head I was evaluating all of them against the negative stereotyping I’d grown up with. I’d say I don’t like the attitude, automatically assuming ghetto crap was the benchmark for black men, and exclude them without getting to know them – and indeed, I still can’t stand the ghetto rapper thing, but the difference is that somewhere along the way, I stopped using that as the default expectation for black men. That was a societally imposed prejudice that affected who I was attracted to.
People are going to fuck who they fuck, date who they’re going to date, there are a lot of things that determine who we feel is acceptable – prejudice is one of them, like it or not, biology is there to,. I’m sure there are guys out there who are explicitly racist, like guys who say they will ONLY date white guys – no caveat. There are guys from whom prejudice is there but far less important. There are guys with no attractions to specific body types that could come across as prejudiced.
What tells is the context, if you simply aren’t attracted to features that are “Asian,” what does that mean? Why would you then go on to say you only want a white boyfriend, that does indeed come across as racist.
I was trying to stay out of this one, but, oh well, here goes.
It’s foolish to think that racial stereotyping and attitudes don’t affect what we find attractive. Being gay makes you attracted to men on a biological level, no one is biologically attracted to an imposed social construct like what we call “race.”
The comparison with women isn’t valid.
Biologically speaking humans are incredibly homogeneous genetically, there just aren’t all that many mutations one population to another – we are all incredibly alike in our DNA, more so than a whole lot of other species. So what is “race.”
The spawn of Eugenics that’s what. “white,” is a bogus designation that we take to mean generally northern European but can’t be nailed down in any remotely specific way. “Latino,” Could be anything from white Mexicans to Black Brazilians, “Hispanic” is even more vague. “Asian” is anyone from Asia forget that Malaysians are nothing like Mongolians and calling them both the same “race” is truly useless.
Then we get to “black,” which is where the meat of this is, at least in the United States. Black has a whole history of negative stereotyping attached to it, far more than any other designation. White has been traditionally held up as the normative standard for everything from beauty to competence.
It’s just being willfully blind to think that these things are not internalized to varying degrees and affect our choice of partners.
In fact I know that to be true. Because of my own life, in which I spent a lot of time saying that I wasn’t a bigot I just wasn’t attracted to black guys, and that’s all.
Well, I wasn’t a bigot, but I was prejudiced, and those are not the same things. WHY is the question people don’t like to ask when confronted with this. WHY was I not attracted to black guys?
Because somewhere in my head I was evaluating all of them against the negative stereotyping I’d grown up with. I’d say I don’t like the attitude, automatically assuming ghetto crap was the benchmark for black men, and exclude them without getting to know them – and indeed, I still can’t stand the ghetto rapper thing, but the difference is that somewhere along the way, I stopped using that as the default expectation for black men. That was a societally imposed prejudice that affected who I was attracted to.
People are going to fuck who they fuck, date who they’re going to date, there are a lot of things that determine who we feel is acceptable – prejudice is one of them, like it or not, biology is there to,. I’m sure there are guys out there who are explicitly racist, like guys who say they will ONLY date white guys – no caveat. There are guys from whom prejudice is there but far less important. There are guys with no attractions to specific body types that could come across as prejudiced.
What tells is the context, if you simply aren’t attracted to features that are “Asian,” what does that mean? Why would you then go on to say you only want a white boyfriend, that does indeed come across as racist.
Rolyo85
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I fully agree. I don't doubt for a second my lack of physical attraction for black guys for example is cultural as much as biological. Problem is, I grew up in a country that has almost no black population and is completely indifferent toward any and all races. We don't have offensive stereotypes, we don't have any sort of prejudice either way.
So I grew up in a predominantly white environment. I'm sure that's played a part in my preferences. However, I don't consciously think in stereotypes as far as any race is concerned (even though the black element of Grindr does its best to force me to), so how can I work on that?
I was watching Season 2 of True Blood a while back, and the sex scene between Tara and Eggs pops up. This boy is one of the most majestically beautiful specimens of masculinity I've ever seen in my life. And I had zero attraction to him.
So should I feel ashamed of it? Is that a problem I need to work on? Honestly, I don't believe it is.
So I grew up in a predominantly white environment. I'm sure that's played a part in my preferences. However, I don't consciously think in stereotypes as far as any race is concerned (even though the black element of Grindr does its best to force me to), so how can I work on that?
I was watching Season 2 of True Blood a while back, and the sex scene between Tara and Eggs pops up. This boy is one of the most majestically beautiful specimens of masculinity I've ever seen in my life. And I had zero attraction to him.
So should I feel ashamed of it? Is that a problem I need to work on? Honestly, I don't believe it is.
TX-Beau
FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE!
It’s not that simple a question. We all know ourselves best. If you think you’re making an unreasonable judgment that’s one thing. I’ve never known a bigot who wasn’t aware of it. Prejudices can be more insidious.
But you didn’t grow up here so I have no idea what kind of prejudicial baggage you might be carrying around.
I’d say give everyone a fair shot as a person – you never know, at the very least you could make some good friends along the way, then date where you find attraction – and unless you’re going out of your way to hate on some group, don’t worry overmuch about it.
But you didn’t grow up here so I have no idea what kind of prejudicial baggage you might be carrying around.
I’d say give everyone a fair shot as a person – you never know, at the very least you could make some good friends along the way, then date where you find attraction – and unless you’re going out of your way to hate on some group, don’t worry overmuch about it.
Rolyo85
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Well, I was already doing that, though Bloomington is painfully white in this very bleached college midwestern type of way... But I'm broadening my horizons to Chicago soon, hopefully.
FuryOfFirestorm
Suck my dick, Scalia!
@TX-Beau: Okay, if you think the woman comparision isn't valid, then how about this one...
I'm attracted to large, hairy guys. Does that mean I hate skinny, hairless dudes?
Attraction to red does not mean repulsion to blue.
I prefer Pepsi to Coke. Does it mean I hate Coke? Nope. I just like Pepsi. If Coke is the only thing availble, I'll either order it or choose another drink. Simple as that. Until I actually say or otherwise indicate that I hate Coke, it's unfair for someone to assume that I harbor a deep-seated bigotry towards Coca-Cola.
I'm attracted to large, hairy guys. Does that mean I hate skinny, hairless dudes?
Attraction to red does not mean repulsion to blue.
I prefer Pepsi to Coke. Does it mean I hate Coke? Nope. I just like Pepsi. If Coke is the only thing availble, I'll either order it or choose another drink. Simple as that. Until I actually say or otherwise indicate that I hate Coke, it's unfair for someone to assume that I harbor a deep-seated bigotry towards Coca-Cola.
bankside
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I'm often attracted to large built guys. They stand out in a crowd whether I'm in Canada or Czech Republic or Australia or Hong Kong. Ethnicity isn't a factor. Yes, that build is less common in some ethnicities, but I notice it no matter what the background.
When the background becomes the factor rather than the characteristic, I don't get it. When the background prevents someone from noticing the characteristic they usually enjoy, what is it except racism?
FuryOfFirestorm
Suck my dick, Scalia!
^^^But there's the difference. Nobody else knows the reasons for your attraction and assuming some negative reasoning behind it is unfair. If you see a black girl with a white guy and think, "She must be a self-hating bigot", then that makes YOU the racist. Why should attraction always attributed to SOMETHING? I like the color blue. Does that mean I hate red or yellow? No. It just means I prefer blue, period. Unless I've given a clear indication that I HATE other colors, don't assume that there's some complex explanation that involves slavery, the Illuminati and alien anal probes.
FuryOfFirestorm
Suck my dick, Scalia!
That's the point I was making! When you assume attraction to a certain race is racism, you are "jumping continental leaps to things no one ever said".
And i'm not defensive, my dear. I'm just adding my 2 cents. 99% of the men I'm attracted to are white or hispanic, and I don't see a reason to apologise or feel bad about it, because I know that I am not a racist. If you think I wear a white hood and burn crosses because asian guys don't get my dick hard, then I don't think your opinion matters anyway.
We can't help who we fell in love with but I do believe that preference is highly influenced by society/media.
I'm asian and I would love to date an asian, I just never had a chance (which is kinda sad, cause I've tasted the rainbow). It doesn't matter now cause my heart already belongs to someone.
I'm asian and I would love to date an asian, I just never had a chance (which is kinda sad, cause I've tasted the rainbow). It doesn't matter now cause my heart already belongs to someone.
TX-Beau
FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE!
FuryOfFirestorm
Suck my dick, Scalia!
Think whatever you want, mein freund. 8^)
Frogger17
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My opinion:
1. Yes, people will be attracted to who they're attracted to.
2. Yes, those preferences are, in a way, shaped by society.
3. No, you can't make someone like who they don't like.
I think the problem here is ego. Society says "Hey, guys, white is beautiful. Everybody else? Eh, I guess you can aspire to be like us, but...you'll never be white." What we fail to realize is that minority children also have to grow up in this society, with "white is right" pushed into our face from a young age, so it's a losing battle from the get-go. Growing up gay, it's extra hard, because men have a habit of putting more emphasis on looks than women, so if society is telling white and minority children alike that white is the most beautiful, then obviously we're going to have a overwhelming number of both white and minority gay men who want "white only."
The problem lies not with white guys or minority guys, but with us all. We, as minority men, only want to feel wanted. That's all anyone in the world wants, is to feel wanted and to know they matter. With the white heirarchy, the chances of that are slim to none. So, basically--in my humble opinion, anyway--some minority men want white men to acknowledge their advantage and feel regret for the unfair system. White men, however, probably don't feel it's their fault and just want to live their lives and like who they like. "White guys don't like me" is not a problem typically experienced by the white gay population, so I have no doubt that many (not all, mind you) individuals don't really care about the issue. I've found in my 20+ years on this earth that people only care about a problem insofar as it affects them. We see it all the time with cancer patients who care nothing of cancer until they or a family member or friend are diagnosed with the disease, and then what happens? Cancer walks, donations, advocacy, etc. (No disrespect to cancer patients or their like.)
Simply put, arguing about this issue is a waste of time. Yes, it's unfair to minorities that white is seen as the most beautiful, but ultimately, we can only deal with ourselves and what we prefer. If someone doesn't want you, why on earth would you let yourself want them?
My two cents, anyway.
1. Yes, people will be attracted to who they're attracted to.
2. Yes, those preferences are, in a way, shaped by society.
3. No, you can't make someone like who they don't like.
I think the problem here is ego. Society says "Hey, guys, white is beautiful. Everybody else? Eh, I guess you can aspire to be like us, but...you'll never be white." What we fail to realize is that minority children also have to grow up in this society, with "white is right" pushed into our face from a young age, so it's a losing battle from the get-go. Growing up gay, it's extra hard, because men have a habit of putting more emphasis on looks than women, so if society is telling white and minority children alike that white is the most beautiful, then obviously we're going to have a overwhelming number of both white and minority gay men who want "white only."
The problem lies not with white guys or minority guys, but with us all. We, as minority men, only want to feel wanted. That's all anyone in the world wants, is to feel wanted and to know they matter. With the white heirarchy, the chances of that are slim to none. So, basically--in my humble opinion, anyway--some minority men want white men to acknowledge their advantage and feel regret for the unfair system. White men, however, probably don't feel it's their fault and just want to live their lives and like who they like. "White guys don't like me" is not a problem typically experienced by the white gay population, so I have no doubt that many (not all, mind you) individuals don't really care about the issue. I've found in my 20+ years on this earth that people only care about a problem insofar as it affects them. We see it all the time with cancer patients who care nothing of cancer until they or a family member or friend are diagnosed with the disease, and then what happens? Cancer walks, donations, advocacy, etc. (No disrespect to cancer patients or their like.)
Simply put, arguing about this issue is a waste of time. Yes, it's unfair to minorities that white is seen as the most beautiful, but ultimately, we can only deal with ourselves and what we prefer. If someone doesn't want you, why on earth would you let yourself want them?
My two cents, anyway.