I knew this would happen eventually, but...

[jaynoel]

I was recently visiting another city for the weekend and met this guy at the gym on Saturday. We hooked up later.

Just as we get going, he pulls out his phone to start taking either video or stills. (Not sure which.)
Surprised, I strongly asked him what the fuck he was doing, and told him to put it away immediately.

He was like "Don't be silly, I won't show it to anybody." Like that made it okay or something.
I stood my ground and he put it away, but acted like I was being a prude.
Though we still had a good time, it put a bit of a damper on the hookup.

Part of me thinks maybe I was too assertive in how I said no. But then again, he was initially going to ignore me the first time and proceed anyway, so that makes me think I wasn't too strong when I said no.
Has this happened to a lot of you?
How have you handled it? Was there any resistance if you said no?

I know a lot of people are doing it, but I am really really not interested.
And I suspect that a lot of the "amateur" vids online were supposed to be for "personal viewing" only, and that many of the guys in them have no idea that they are out there online.

 

[SeaCore]

I don't think you should second guess yourself. You did the right thing. I think you'd have been justified ending the hook up if you felt inclined.
No means no—sex isn't just about one person and your feelings matter. I don't understand why they wouldn't have asked if you were cool with filming/snapshots. I'm sure it DID put a damper on the hook-up, but ain't because of what you did.

 

[KaraBulut]

Rule of thumb: never be pressured into doing anything in the bedroom that you don't want to do or you are not comfortable with.

The guy is lucky that you didn't boot him out onto the street.

 

[ShadowCat]

I would insist the phone stays in his car or at the very least out of the bedroom of where ever you were fucking!

 

[jaynoel]

Thanks for your thoughts, guys.

Rule of thumb: never be pressured into doing anything in the bedroom that you don't want to do or you are not comfortable with.

Absolutely. I don't get pressured into doing anything I am not okay with. I am bigger than most guys and a top, and I try to make it clear beforehand that I like to usually run things. That's why I was so surprised that he just pulled his phone out nonchalantly, like it was an everyday thing. There was no way he was going to get pics/vid of me having sex.

 

[PrinceCory]

I don't blame you one bit for not liking the situation you described.

However, that being said, there has been a couple of times i wish I had some video of the other guy. So if I guy asked me if it was okay I now plan on telling him that I don't really want to be identifiable in the video. So I would be willing to use my phone / camera to make the video and that I would edit the video to my liking and provide the finished video to him.

 

[jaynoel]

Interesting solution/idea.
However I didn't want video of him nor do I have the necessary software to edit the footage of our fuck. Also, after his attempt, I wasn't particularly interested in contacting Him again later to get the edited video to him.
Lastly, i didn't want to bother with trying to hold a camera/phone still while I fucked him. I just wanted to fuck.

 

[justassboys]

he was going to show it to all his friends. I think it's hot, but you need to both consent otherwise you need to go through a whole ordeal of making sure it's deleted.

 

[mcbrion]

So now we live in a culture of voyeurs, who can't even simply enjoy the person they're with; the need to be able to watch (and show) themselves having sex. TO OTHERS who weren't there, even. Lots of spontaneity there, right? "Turn this way, I don't think the camera is in the right position for me to watch you fucking me later on."

I don't blame you for being annoyed: sex is (usually) for DOING and enjoyment, not for setting up for VIEWING later, like an actor viewing the rushes of the day after filming is over.

Maybe put an asterisk on your profile: "no cams, please."

 

[funsicles]

My "straight" married / divorcing friend / lover recorded me sucking his cock Thursday night, so of course, I hammed it up - slapping his perfect cock at my cheek, licking it top to bottom, and sucking his scrotum that hangs lower than his manhood. In return, I got to film his swallowing his first load ever. He sent his video to my phone, as his live-in baby mama mistress goes through his phone regularly, but he still wants to keep it for jacking purposes. This is indeed for our own personal viewing pleasure, lol, just talking about it, I feel compelled to jack off and view it again for the 186th time.

I have been out for years, and I am largely accepted and respected in our extremely rural corner of the world. Joey, on the other hand is deeply in the closet, and I will and do respect his individual confidence and secret. I would never "OUT" him or anybody else EVER!!! Coming out, accepting, acknowledging one's homosexuality / bisexuality is a very personal issue and certainly not another's indescretion.

Weird how we hooked up. He hated me at first, because I "turned" his best friend gay. Ha ha. Will was a delicious, delightful, and dapper Don. We had a healthy 15-month relationship until he experimented with and became consumed by crystal meth. Joey and I cut ties with him post-haste and eventually commiserated together. Lol ... I pushed and groomed him until he finally gave in to his curiosity.

I love Joey! Even during our 6 month "break up." Lol I will even admit to being pubescently in love with the man. I haven't lost common sense. I do not entertain delusional fantasies. Our "break up" was his doing, as he was jealous that I started dating a 23 y.o. hottie. Lol ... apparently, I am to be his forever side dish!! *AHEM!!! I am the Main Course Entree!!! Lol ... his girlfriend loves whenever he comes home after a fevered night of oral with me, because of his hetero-guilt, he has to prove his heterosexuality to himself and her!

But yes, nude selfies are too commonplace nowadays. I'm rocking my 33 y.o. dad bod, and I don't care who sees me nude. I am far from being an exhibitionist, but my modesty is limited. I'll shower or pee in front of the world without hesitation, lol, but when I poop, I poop ALONE!!!