I made lewd and lascivious food presentations.

[Vannie]

When I worked at the nursing home I would put 2 scoops of mashed potatoes on a plate,and top them with a single green pea so they looked like big titties.....

And...on knockwurst night I would put 2 scoops of mashed potatoes on a plate with a huge knockwurst in the middle so it looked like a big penis and two fluffy balls...

This was clearly....unprofessional and very immature.My very sincere apologies if I offended anyone.

 

[rareboy]

I think that as long as you didn't slap the plate with your dick...it probably made the inmates very happy.

 

[ElmosToe]

Were the mashed potatoes organic?

 

[Vitamin]

It's ok Vannie. I doubt anyone in the nursing home remembers what they had for dinner last night.

 

[Vannie]

Were the mashed potatoes organic?

You would think so,for paying 4-6 thousand a month for a room.But alas it was just the standard white general all purpose potatoes.

It's ok Vannie. I doubt anyone in the nursing home remembers what they had for dinner last night.

Believe it or not,what they ate is one of the few thing most residents do remember.Especially if they didn't like whatever it was.They would viciously attack me with insults. <so true

 

[FPNY]

Are you confessing past transgressions for a reason? Are you going to be apologizing to people you've wronged next? Is this part of the 12 step cabbage stuffers anonymous program?

 

[gsdx]

They were probably more offended by your cabbage farts... as soon as they realised they weren't the ones making them.

 

[FPNY]

I have questions about this. I wonder if I should I call the NJ authorities. We might have to close bridge lanes...

 

[MrRochesterNY]

Vannie, if you used yams rather than plain potatoes, and mashed them up, the color would much more realistic, unless Shady Pines residents never get out in the sun and expose their balls to daylight to maintain a nice ruddy glow.

 

[NotHardUp1]

 

[Kyanimal]

Vannie, Buddy!

Is this a pretense leading up to you finally posting pics of your natural cabbage roll?

 

[Zeno Lorea]

It's ok Vannie. I doubt anyone in the nursing home remembers what they had for dinner last night.

Actually, as people get very old and their action radius diminishes, they have so little to look forward to that meals can be among the highlights of the day. Even for those with memory loss.

 

[HoodedRat]

What's the food like, as a resident, in your current maximum-security twilight resthome for elderly serial vegetable offenders?

 

[Vannie]

They were probably more offended by your cabbage farts... as soon as they realised they weren't the ones making them.

The assisted living facility I worked for had three floors.You did not wanna get on the elevator with any of the residents.We did afternoon tea every day and I would take trays of cookies and finger sandwiches to all the floors.A few times I was trapped inside and almost died And...it wasn't me

I have questions about this. I wonder if I should I call the NJ authorities. We might have to close bridge lanes...

I might have to share a jail cell with Governor Christie Squeal Governor squeal!

Vannie, if you used yams rather than plain potatoes, and mashed them up, the color would much more realistic, unless Shady Pines residents never get out in the sun and expose their balls to daylight to maintain a nice ruddy glow.

It sounds like you seen Donald Trumps balls

 

[Vannie]

Vannie, Buddy!

Is this a pretense leading up to you finally posting pics of your natural cabbage roll?

How dare you try and lure me into your sordid world of cut vs uncut My cabbage roll was snipped

What's the food like, as a resident, in your current maximum-security twilight resthome for elderly serial vegetable offenders?

Vegetable offenders? I'm afraid to know how you offend vegetables. Both garden and human

As a Chef...the Shady Pines menu wasn't bad.Breakfast was kinda a free for all.(whatever you wanted)Any kind of omelettes,breakfast meats(ham-sausage-bacon)homefries.Fresh fruit in season....coffee,tea...oatmeal...cream of wheat...assorted cold cereals...etcetera...

Lunch was the main meal.Usually a meat and potatoes thing with soup du jour and some kind of cold salad.(garden-pickled beets-etcetera...)There was/is always fresh sliced fruit and cottage cheese(as well as eggs) for those who didn't like the menu that day.Out of 130 people,I had 15-20 people every day who hated everything we made.And I'm a good cook..

Dinner was lighter with another soup and all kinds of cold sandwiches and more fruit and cottage cheese.One of the most popular dinner items was (franks and beans with brown canned bread)Two grilled hotdogs on a top of a big bowl of baked beans,served with "B&M" brand canned brown sweet bread.I think "B&M" might stand for bowel movement...not sure. But seriously,for anyone who never had "B&M" brown bread,its very tasty.I like the raisin variety with cream cheese. It can be a bit pricey online though.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/23810026...75035&wl11=online&wl12=23810026&wl13=&veh=sem

I did do a few good vegetarian options(roasted vegetable strudel with a homemade marinara sauce for dipping)And some good vegetable chili with corn bread....veggie burgers...meatless stuffed cabbage,bell peppers and portobello mushrooms over brown rice...

Love the chicken wings picture J...thanks for the replies Guys

 

[Pianist]

Of course(s) you did.