I may seek 'Counselling'

[rareboy]

Don't even start.

I had a nice chat with my deliciously unavailable primary care physician yesterday who some of you may remember is the 30 year old son of my previous family doc.

And some of you (not all) will understand that I have been profoundly affected by Russia's foray into taking over Europe and the humanitarian tragedy they are leaving in their wake.

And because of my own mother's history in WWII Europe, this has produced a state of existential anxiety and despair that I never knew possible.

So, when I told him that the first thought in my head at 4 to 5 am every morning when my cat licks me awake was 'Donetsk' he recommended that I speak with someone to help me reconcile this and help me sleep.

Part of me thinks 'This would be a good idea. Part of me thinks this would be the head up the ass approach that allowed Europe to doze through the Holocaust leading to my own mother's PTSD realizing what they had ignored.


So. Sleep > moral focus?

OR do I just numb myself with Bourbon and indifference.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

there's no wrong answer. bourbon and indifference is a fair option, but therapy can be very beneficial.

 

[Cormac135]

Nah just get involved with some charity work to help the people of Ukraine.

Or even better get over there and take up arms against the Russians.

 

[voltronforce]

Therapy is perfectly fine and normal. The world is full of great people, a-holes, and people in-between. It is what kind of person you are and what you do that you have control over that you get to decide.

 

[m1thousand]

I saw my first therapist in 1978 (grade 8), after three suicide attempts. She was a real winner. She once said to me "too bad you have your father's demeanor and not his good looks"

In the 90's, I saw a therapist who told me "Ive recently had a revelation. I can't tell you what it is, but my colleges would consider me to be the next Freud" Really

Going to see a therapist in 2022 shouldn't even be 'a thing'. Just go. Feel better. What's the shame in that?

Think about all the examples of mentally ill people committing crimes / shooting up New York subways

 

[Vannie]

Nothing wrong with counseling. You might be purged of some of your emotions or find peace in looking at a situation in a different way.

And a little Bourbon is ok. Or in my case a little Gin

 

[eddielee]

Good and proper therapy can be helpful. Drinking liquor until you are bombed out will, in the end, make things much worse.

 

[Charon]

Not into therapy or meds.

 

[Kahaih]

Not into therapy or meds.

Another time, then, maybe?

Fingers crossed.

 

[EddMarkStarr]

I'm doing better now, but two weeks ago I was very depressed about the Ukraine and all the people killed since February 2022.

 

[cityboy-stl]

I'll be interested to hear how you work this out and what they tell you. It seems this feeling is much more common than is being acknowledged. I am feeling much the same and have not slept well for a good long while. I wake up sometimes yelling in fear, and it is the first thing on my mind in the morning. Not only because of Ukraine, although that has made it worse; but also for what I see as the U.S. sitting on the doorstep of a reich-wing fascist apocalypse. I'm not taking meds, and being told "just turn it off", "there is nothing you can do", "don't worry, be happy" - is a bad answer. It sounds like what they might have told German Jews in 1937; which exactly what I feel like - a German Jew in 1937 who sees what is coming. But...I don't want to hijack your thread any more than I have, other than to share you're not alone in feeling this way. Please us know what kind of answers, suggestions, and help (if any) they give you. Good Luck.

 

[jaysizzles]

I've had a few friends that go to therapy and speak quite highly of it. The one guy is someone who I never would have thought would seek it out.

If you feel you may benefit from it, then check it out...you can always quit.

 

[Maklaar13]

I started going to counseling 30 years ago when I first was diagnosed with a debilitating illness. I was skeptical at first but then I began to understand that help is available only when we seek it and are willing participants in the journey to getting ourselves to a better state. I have also been on medications for depression and anxiety but in the end it has been the counseling with psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists and counselors that have help me the most. When I was told that I would be blind in the next few years, one of the first things we did as a couple was to reach out to mental health professional. The help and support that I have been given has been amazing. Not only did it help me understand, it also help me help myself in ways I could have never imagined. Also in the process of dealing with my disabilities I was able to let out all sorts of issues like sexual abuse and my fucked up family. These days I find that I no longer need any medication for depression or anxiety. Counseling and therapy changed my life, better yet, it help me change my life for the better. I wish you the best.

 

[rareboy]

Many good thoughts here to consider.

Part of the problem that we flagged during my conversation with my Doc is that my defense mechanism is to consume facts because truth can make the reality easier to cope with. So I follow this very closely. Because I will not look away.

But like any other area of learning, it can be all consuming especially when there is an ever changing dynamic.

I almost envy when my grandparents and mother in Europe and my father's family here in Canada were always at some arm's length from events because of the limitations of communications and the censors.

Today, we can follow everything in almost real time and despite the fog of war...there is no excuse to not know. But when I woke up at 3:30this morning and my first waking thought was Marioupol...even I realize that this may just exhaust me.

 

[Thad1527]

Don't lose your compassion.

Most of us had never heard of Mariupol before. It was a thriving port city, benefitting from a prime location. The thought of its invasion and destruction is truly saddening.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Many good thoughts here to consider.

Part of the problem that we flagged during my conversation with my Doc is that my defense mechanism is to consume facts because truth can make the reality easier to cope with. So I follow this very closely. Because I will not look away.

But like any other area of learning, it can be all consuming especially when there is an ever changing dynamic.

I almost envy when my grandparents and mother in Europe and my father's family here in Canada were always at some arm's length from events because of the limitations of communications and the censors.

Today, we can follow everything in almost real time and despite the fog of war...there is no excuse to not know. But when I woke up at 3:30this morning and my first waking thought was Marioupol...even I realize that this may just exhaust me.

Sister you can definitely overdose on current events, it's one of the most dangerous addictions because unlike narcotics there's a veneer of "this is normal, maybe even my responsibility to be aware." I'm walking the tight rope between "being empathetic and aware" and "being sane." Might not even take long for you to find a healthy balance, just need to do a lil recalibratin, whether with therapy or liquid stabilizer or both.

 

[NotHardUp1]

A few observations.

First, despite the horrific reality of the invasion and killings, remember the scale of them compared to a nation of 44,000,000 souls. Although the war is undoubtedly about to get much worse now that the cruiser was sunk and Russian pride wounded, it's still not on the scale of WWI or WWII, and think of all those survivors who managed to move on and live full lives after the horrors of it all. Let their tenacity and determination be a beacon for you.

Second, therapy, if rightly tuned, can be a grand help. After all, being anxious is not helping you, your mother, or the Ukrainians. You are too old and too wise to aspire to asceticism or martyrdom. We are put here to enjoy this world, not to turn from its beauty to only see the ugly. I posted in 2016 after my suicide attempt that my couselor was invaluable, but remember it was the SECOND one. The first one was pure shit.

Finally, consider it worth probing WHY this event has so deeply troubled you. Were you perhaps unknowlingly harboring a Utopian hope in your psyche, that evil and brutish mankind would eventually be relegated to the ash heap of evolution and history? Are you dealing with how you are stepping over the wonderful and inspiring accounts of Polish, European, and worldwide humanitarian response against his barbarous invasion, as it is surely as powerfully true about humanity and our future as yet another despot with territorial tyranny?

Thank you for sharing openly and transparently. All of us can benefit.

 

[KaraBulut]

...So, when I told him that the first thought in my head at 4 to 5 am every morning when my cat licks me awake was 'Donetsk' he recommended that I speak with someone to help me reconcile this and help me sleep...

So. Sleep > moral focus?

OR do I just numb myself with Bourbon and indifference.

They're not mutually exclusive options.

There's a lot of reasons for therapy. Sometimes it's to fix something, which in the case of the current EuroAsian madness, isn't fixable. Sometimes it's to have someone listen and help you sort things out. Sometimes it's just to say it out loud to someone.

But generally, if someone is offering you a light, it seems pointless to continue sitting in the dark.

Bourbon or not.

 

[NotHardUp1]

We really have to remember how much good there is in the world.

Today, I stumbled across Chris Ulmer. Yes, he's stunningly handsome with crystal blue eyes, but straight, so of no consequence, but his channel was recommended for some reason on YouTube. Over 1 billion people have seen his videos. That alone is inspiring.

But, when you watch one of them, you see just how profound his mission is in life, and how he is not just the typical content creator, getting rich off the sensational.

I've not seen such an impactful life for good in many years. And they are out there. It's just a question of whether we are looking for them.

Enjoy, and in the spirit of Passover and Easter, the theme of redemption: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4E98HDsPXrf5kTKIgrSmtQ

 

[Alistair]

Take up a hobby like painting or woodworking. It works wonders to distract your mind from over thinking.