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I Need Advice!

Leidian

Leidian

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So I met this guy last night and I think we hit it off pretty well. I'm definitely interested in seeing if we can make something work between us. We exchanged numbers this morning (:gogirl:) and at least gave lip service to the idea of getting together again. I need some advice on this! I haven't dated anyone for real as an out person before, and I don't want to blow it. We aren't dating right now, obviously, but I would like to set up the relationship so that it might be an option after we get to know each other better - to make sure we get a chance to know each other better without me doing something stupid and messing it up.

I know that acting like he's the man of my dreams and trying to move too fast with labels is a BIG no no. Anything else I should watch out for? Any tips on if there actually is a "3 day rule" or not, or what to say when I do call? Thanks, guys!!
 
Leidian said:
We exchanged numbers this morning (:gogirl:) and at least gave lip service to the idea of getting together again.
Click to expand...

So what did you do last night? Did you bonk the whole night and only surfaced this morning?

Too late for fancy ideas. Keep on bonking and hope it developes into something.(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)
 
Bonking? Haha. But yes. And I certainly hope that continues. Does it really ruin the chances of a relationship if you have sex before you have a real relationship? I've heard that been said, but I suppose it could just be something people who are against casual sex say.
 
Leidian said:
Bonking? Haha. But yes. And I certainly hope that continues. Does it really ruin the chances of a relationship if you have sex before you have a real relationship? I've heard that been said, but I suppose it could just be something people who are against casual sex say.
Click to expand...

Well, on a serious note, that is how it went with my b/f. And many years later we are still together and bonking.

Do you like that word... Bonking?
 
If you never ever hear from him again it wont be the last person with whom you exchanged numbers with and never hear from again, SADLY :(
 
^^ just brace yourself :)

I wish you the best! I hope he is THE MAN you spend the rest of your life with...
 
First, I moved your thread into CO&R as it's a better fit there.

Secondly, don't succumb to the silly rules of dating. If you want to see him again, call him. It is that easy.

Right now don't worry about the future. Have fun in the now. Go out, have some dinner, see a show, etc. Just get to know each other a bit better. From there the both of you should be able to gauge if there is a chance for something more.

As for the hook-ups leading to more, I find it really to be a craps shoot. In all honesty when I'm out at clubs, I'm not really looking for a relationship - just a quick fix. But one never knows. Most men I've wound-up dating, I've slept with the first or second time we've met. With one exception and that ended rather poorly.

So to sum up, don't worry and go with the flow. I find the most enjoyment from the unknown.
 
Don't play games. Call him and let him know just how you feel, and suggest another date on Saturday. If he starts making excuses of why he can't see you and doesn't suggest alternate dates to meet, then you will know he doesn't feel the same way about you. It's a harsh lesson and you may get your feelings hurt, but I think it's better to know this sooner rather than later.
 
SFMusic said:
Don't play games. Call him and let him know just how you feel, and suggest another date on Saturday. If he starts making excuses of why he can't see you and doesn't suggest alternate dates to meet, then you will know he doesn't feel the same way about you. It's a harsh lesson and you may get your feelings hurt, but I think it's better to know this sooner rather than later.
Click to expand...

Go for it. Casual sex is a problem when people want sex as the end product and not a relationship. Let your intuition be your guide. If mistakes are not allowed at this point, they surely won't be allowed later. Find out where you stand, and act on it.
Shep+
 
Here's an update. I waited to call (not to play some kind of game, but because it just doesn't make sense to me that I would call on Monday to ask what he is doing Saturday).

I was expecting the conversation to go the way of SFMusic's scenario. It's the classic brush-off (done it myself). HOWEVER, that's not what happened. He was glad to get my call and we are getting together again on Saturday!

Thanks for the advice guys. Being straightforward worked out. And even if it didn't, well at least I wouldn't be sitting by the phone this weekend waiting for a call.
 
That's great news(!) and never sit by the phone waiting for someone to call you. If I had done that, I wouldn't be married today. Take charge of your life, and keep chance to a minimum.
 
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