I need an advice and/or some suggestions.

[DonnieDarko]

Hey guys,
first of all, please be patient with me, English is something that I'm still working on.

So, I'm bisexual, or at least that's what I think. I'm 27. So far I only had sex with women, my last relationship ended 3 years ago and I still like girls, most definitely. However, throughout the years, I always felt that there's something more that is missing. I started to watch gay porn and realized I'm attracted to men. It took me a while to get used to it and to look at the guys on the streets just as I looked at the girls. Also, not only I get turned on by gay porn, but also by fantasising or by looking at handsome guys (mostly their asses ).

For three years I hesitated, beacuse I wasn't really sure what's going on. Long story short, I met a guy who is gay, quite handsome and after a long relationship. He, from the start, suggested that he's interested in me, but during our "dates" we never really got ahead with anything, mostly beacuse of me. We just talked. Then, he moved away and we haven't met for almost a year.

Finally, I was frustrated enough with myself and with my attitude towards this whole gay thing and texted him that maybe we should meet and stuff. He answered that he'll be more than happy. He'll be here on Monday and to be honest, I'm still having mixed feelings. I'm afraid, I'm not sure how this will go. I don't know how to react when I'm with a guy, I don't know oh so many things about gay sex, I'm not even sure if I'm attracted to him that much. I just know that I want to finally be sure if I'm really bisexual. I'm just really, like, blocked whenever I think of real action between me and him/or any other man. I know that I like guys, I know what I like about them and whenever I see gay porn or even when I watch "normal" gay movies (most recently I've seen August), I know it's definitely something that I think I would enjoy, only when it comes to really making this step, I'm getting nervous as hell.

So what should I do, how should I prepare? Is my situation a common one? Anyone can help me?

 

[syoBsUtsuJ]

I must have literally walked back and forth before and around the block of the first gay bar that I ever went into ... we're walking into the our perceived UNKNOWN. Once the threshold is crossed, trust me, it will be as commonplace as your couch.

 

[subsonic]

Yeah, I alspo think that you should just break the ice.. Everything will be much easier then. Usually the thing we fear seem more scarier than they really are.. Just do what feels comfortable for you and go along for the ride. I think it's a great idea that you're exploring your sexuality with this guy as it seems he is a trustworthy person who would respect your boundaries and knows your situation. Go for it and see where it takes you. I bet you'll like it and if not, then you'll know.

 

[DonnieDarko]

Thanks guys. That's exactly what I was hoping for when creating a new thread here.
This guy is really trusthorthy. I wrote to him that during our past meetings he should really make the first step and that I think I'm ready now. He said that he didn't wan't to rush things, beacuse he knew I wasn't really sure. Then, I've said that at the moment I'm more than ready and he replied that "he won't hurt me, just the opposite" if I'll let him, of course and he'll stick around as long as I need him to. Comfortable or not, I think I should go for it as you say, and then I'll know for sure.Thanks again.

 

[ChicagoNormalGuy]

Here's some good advice and some bad advice.

I'm going to give the bad advice first. Many will agree that it is bad advice. I do not recommend following it. Especially if you are under age where you live.

Have a few drinks before hand. I'm not saying get drunk. But pleasantly relaxed and a little buzzed from legal adult refreshments does help.

And here is the good advice: If you go so far as to having a sexual encounter, try to make him cum first. When I was first starting having any kind of sexual encounters with other men, if I came first, I lost the desire to please him. Part of that was probably because those were somewhat anonymous encounters. You know and like this guy so it might make a difference.

Good luck and DON'T STRESS OVER IT. There's nothing wrong with loving or caring for another man.

 

[Benvolio]

I don't think you should expect to do every form of sex until you have some experience. Don't plan on doing anal if you are nervous about it. Obviously, don't jack off for several days to save up the energy. I suggest tht you get to the naked part sooner, rather than later sitting around talking may increase you uncertainty. Once he gets naked you can be sure the hormones will give you a big rush and the uncertainty will go way.

 

[DonnieDarko]

Once again, thanks for the tips. He said he won't be able to make it today, but on 26th. That means I have more time to gather all the informations I need. So...
1.I should definitely break the ice, go for it etc - I know I have to, for me.
2.Get a little bit buzzed- yeah, our first date was just like that, I'm fine with few beers and I agree, it helps sometimes.
3.Make him cum first - that will be kind off tricky for me, since it will be the first time for me - however, I also had this feeling during sex with women that whenever I came first I didn't have any desire to continue (not that it was possible).I really like this guy and I really want this to work. But I guess, like you've said, I shouldn't be so stressed over it.
4.Don't expect to do every form of sex until I have some experience - well, to be honest, I was hoping for anal sex. I've tried some toys and I hope I will be able to take it. Still, I don't really know...
5.Don't jack off for several days - that's a good one - it reminds of "There's something about Mary", where some dude suggested the other that he should jack off right before their first date - however, I agree that I should save the energy, I don't wan't to disappoint.
6. Get naked part sooner - I agree that sitting around may be not a good thing. We've had this one date where we basically talked for a few hours at my apartment and I was more stressed with each passing minute and it got kinda awkward. He, obviously, wanted something more. What I wanted was him to leave...He already knows that I want to give it a try, so I guess we both want it and hopefully it will all go smooth (if that's even possible).

So, I'll drink something before, I won't jack off for three or four days, I won't be waiting with getting to action for too long and even though I want it, I won't be pushing myself to have anal or any other form of sex if I'm not comfortable with it.

 

[ChicagoNormalGuy]

Donnie, I really want this to work out well for you. I really do. But I have to giggle at the summary of all the advice at the end of your last post. It's an interesting list. And it reminded me to say that you can laugh and have a good time, even it all goes to hell.

So, I'll drink something before, I won't jack off for three or four days, I won't be waiting with getting to action for too long and even though I want it, I won't be pushing myself to have anal or any other form of sex if I'm not comfortable with it.

 

[DonnieDarko]

Donnie, I really want this to work out well for you. I really do. But I have to giggle at the summary of all the advice at the end of your last post It's an interesting list. And it reminded me to say that you can laugh and have a good time, even it all goes to hell.

Well, that's what I was aiming for
Anyway, I'll come back and tell you how it went.
BTW, I was in Chicago few years ago with my dad, who's since then living there, great city. I loved it. Especially when we went to Six Flags...Ahh to be a kid.

 

[DonnieDarko]

I've got one last question.
I don't really know if this guy is a top or a bottom. How do I know that? I would like to bottom and next time I could top, I like both, that's what I think at least. Thankfully, he's much more experienced than me, so maybe he'll take the initiative.